Thursday, October 02, 2008

Biden and Palin, tonight... who will be left standing? (Plus CCM ultimate fighting matches.)

Oh wait, they will be sitting down. Whatever... No, wait a cotton-pickin' mininte. Not "whatever." I really don't like that sitting down business. I want to see them standing up and squaring off. This is not a deacons meeting in the conference room, this is a Vice presidential-gladiator-slaughter-fest. It's the Barracuda and the Lion of the Senate. (Even though the "Lion of Senate" was shanghaied from Ted Kennedy. Maybe Ted is loaning it to Joe for now.) "Barracuda," that's what they call old Sarah. Hmmm. Suddenly "Barracuda" by Heart is firing up in the noggin. I'm trying to think of a song for Joe that is something about "The Lion." Maybe something by Avalon... "The Lion and the Lamb." Ha!

Now THAT... would be a great ultimate fighting match. Avalon vs. Heart. I would pay a serious premium to see that showdown. As a matter of fact... I would pay several of the old-and-sticky-pennies-in-my-car-cupholder to see some CCM artists square off with each other even just in a good burn-out competition. (Burn out is that game where you play rock paper scissors and the winner smacks the losers arm with two fingers, once per match, until someone quits.) Lets see... A few ultimate fighting/burn-out matches that would be fun:

M.W. Smith vs. Bart from Mercy Me. (I'd bet on Bart. Sidenote: I guess M.W. grew tired of the old Hallelujah.)

Lead singer of Casting Crowns vs. Lead singer of Third Day... (Casting Crowns guy.)

Petra vs. Stryper.... (Stryper)

Shaun Groves vs. Larry ... (Larry.)

Derrick Webb vs. Shane Bernard... (Shane. Cool website, btw.)

Jeremy Camp vs. Bebo tag-teaming with these guys. (Jeremy Camp in the 4th round)

Okay, I've about exhausted my mental CCM ultimate-fighter library for moment, besides a few dearly departed, now its your turn. Ultimate fighting match... Christian artists.... "Go for it." (Ten sticky-nickels-from-my-car-cup-holder for the first person who guesses which Rocky movie that last phrase came from...)

Btw, if you are against such CCM violence, you may turn it into an ultimate thumb wrestling match. The winner gets this bible.

So that about raps it up for now. Come 9:00, I'm going to pop a bunch of popcorn, grab a couple of pounds of m&ms and holler at the television for a few hours, cuddled up with my hot and fiery wife. Tonight should be interesting. I'm already tense about it, as you've probably noticed.


Seth Ward said...

So... anyone think this pic is over-the-top? Regardless, I spent entirely toooooo much time putting it together.

Fork said...

All of my friends have abandoned the Palin ship. They think she's a moron because of the Couric interview.

Now I don't know what to think anymore. Wait, no. I DO know what to think. I'm backing out of this whole "becoming an informed citizen" thing while I still can. Politics is for the birds! It just makes people hate you!

Anonymous said...

Ok...this is hysterical.. I do disagree with one of yours though... Mac (lead singer of Third Day) would totally win...

What about...

Shawn McDonald vs. Mat Kearny (Shawn -OBVIOUSLY)
Bethany Dillon vs. Krystal Meyer (Beth Dillon)
Nichole Nordeman vs. Rebecaa St James (Rebecca)
Crowder vs Tomlin (Crowder)
... the list goes on

Seth Ward said...

Love it!

Kate, that is hilarious... I actually had a Bethany Dillon vs. Carmen (Bethany winning by a landslide) but I removed Carmen, just in case you didn't want Bethany in a throw-down a battle with Carmen, and I changed it to Jaci Velasquez vs. Bethany, (Bethany victor, once again,) but decided that I had already spent WAAAY too much time trying to find a proper ultimate fighting match for her and dropped it. I like your match the best for her.


You're probably right about Mac. Just going off general testosterone levels in the singing there. I'll trust your judgement and put my money on Mac.

Kat said...

How about Nicole C. Mullen in the grand finale match.

Have you seen her arms?

majorsteve said...

Fight I'd like to see?

Russell Brand vs Chuck Lidell

majorsteve said...

Or how about:

Bill Maher vs Forrest Griffen