Thursday, October 16, 2008

Madonna Spews Forth Her Sweet Kabbalah Palin Looove

After comparing John McCain to Hitler, Madonna went off last week on Sarah Palin in the Madison Square Garden stop of the Queen of Pop’s “Sticky & Sweet Tour”.

Madonna made her feelings quite clear by declaring that Sarah Palin isn’t welcome in her concert or party and should get off of her street. Madonna goes as far as threatening to “kick her ass”.

Madonna brilliantly ends her rant with, “It’s nothing personal” and “I love her soul”.

When asked about her aggressive heckling on the red carpet of the NY screening of her directorial debut, Filth & Wisdom, Madonna downplayed the whole thing.

“It’s a metaphor,” Madonna said. “She’s in the Republican Party, I’m in the Democratic Party.”


Madonna, Madonna, Madonna. Wilt though ever grasp the height and depth of thyne stupidity? A metaphor??? You tell Sarah Palin that you want to kick her ass off your street and you expect us to think it was a metaphor? Even if I do concede that you meant it so, it was a horrible metaphor, at best. We are all a little smarter than that. A trial lawyer, you would not make. Why has every word that hath proceedethed from thyne sullied lips been so completely mongoloidian in scope? Stop the madness. The world figured out long ago that all you eighties stars were just a bunch of goobs with the intellectual prowess of a toenail, and that whole clothing/hair style you started stands as one of our culture's most embarrassing memories. There have have been more pictures burned or hidden from that era than any other era. Your doing. We learned our lesson. You are officially a Halloween costume.

Second of all, even if Sarah were interested in attending your goofy event to watch you gyrate your cosmetically altered parts, I SERIOUSLY doubt that you could take the moose-killer in a one on one. I'm thinking you couldn't slut-dance your way out of a Palin headlock. Yes, my dear, she could take you. Maybe in one of your West Side Story fight-fantasys in which Micheal Jackson sings "You Wanna Be Startin' Something" while you fake-dance your way through a bunch of half naked gay guys who've been paid handsomely to act like they want you desperately. Maybe there, in that fantasy world... you might win.

This brings me to a close. I am absolutely frightened at the unbelievable hatred that some women have for Sarah. Most are wanna-be prom queens that always took solace in their intelligence, and in the hope that maybe someday they would be president, and that the prom-queen they despised would be styling their hair for their next national news briefing. Whatever the case, Fem-Palin-Haters are a scary bunch of loons. They need to seriously chill. Anytime you are spewing violent rhetoric about a presidential candidate, you've got probs. Chill-out. Drink a Martini. See a doctor about a lower dose of hormones. Whatever you gotta do. If anyone is resembling the Nazi Party, it is you.

10 comments:

Becky said...

That was the FUNNIEST post I've read in a long time. Please do more celebrity commentary!

Seth Ward said...

Thanks! Yeah, those are fun. I'm just afraid I'd become to cynical... Too late for that I suppose.

Btw, I have been questioned about my use of "Thyne" It is a combination of the modern Thine, and the old english Thyn. I just think it looks funny. So, yes it is a hybrid, but it is my hybrid goshdarnit.

Popcorn said...

Seth I just tried to call you so you could hear my hysterical, uncontrollable laughter at this post. After finishing Joe the Plumber, I was getting ready to comment but just went ahead and scrolled down to the Madonna thing and started scanning it. Oh my gosh, as if the Joe P thing didn't already have me totally tickled, the M post sent me right over the edge. I cannot quit laughing. You outdid (?) yourself!!! My fav line was " I'm thinking you couldn't slut dance your way out of a Palin headlock." That is by far the funniest line I've ever heard flow forth from your little typing fingers. The line about the moose killer runs a close second. For some reason I only have your old cell phone number in my latest ghetto hand me down phone that one of the kids casteth aside...otherwise, you would have heard hysteria from Popcorn in SL. BTW, I was working on a Joe the Plumber post in my head all day since I too was sickened by the media fixation this morning. Stay tuned.....

Seth Ward said...

Awe! Wow, thanks! Can't wait to read your take.

Susanne said...

I'm still cracking up that Madonna would even think that someone so high up on the political ladder as Sarah Palin is would even read a quote from someone who is conducting a "Sticky and Sweet Tour." Hahahahahahahaha. That is hysterical. Madonna (and all of the other leftist commie Hollywood types) is so out of touch with reality that it's just really really funny. Thanks for the laughs, Madonna! Now go back to trying to be like a virgin.

This Southern Belle said...

Oh, that last paragraph had me rolling on the floor. Ha--well said!

Michelle Harper said...

Seth, the tears are flowing after reading and re-reading the description of Madonna slut dancing her way out of Palin headlock. Toooo funny. I'm still laughing.

Would you please get on FB? I know you said you don't like it, but surely many of your friends (like me) are using it and would like to be in even better contact.

I'm afraid some of my most vocal FB friends go the way of the Fem-Palin Haters you speak of. FB needs you, O.D.!

Seth Ward said...

Ha! I'd love to... But... I'm afraid I'm a tad of a deer and you are headlights on the "FB" question. I'm ashamed to ask, What the heck is FB?

Michelle Harper said...

Sorry, I'm in the habit of using that abbreviation for Facebook when I'm online.

By the way, Jim was equally appreciative of this hilarious blog.

Tully said...

I'm not a fan of Palin, but I stopped taking Madonna seriously years ago. This is one Celebrity Death Match that would get some mega ratings! But I liked your description better than anything I could come up with! Hilarious!