Tuesday, October 14, 2008

What's Your .com Name?



ASHEVILLE, N.C. - You can call her CutoutDissection.com, Cutout for short, but just don't call her Jennifer. The former Jennifer Thornburg — now legally CutoutDissection.com — wanted to do something real to protest animal dissections in schools.

The 19-year-old's new name is also the Web address for an anti-dissection page of the site for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, where she is interning.


I guess I can slightly relate to her anti-frog-killin' passion... I really hated dissecting those frogs in Biology. Stank. Slimy. Guts. Gag. Plus, I always got stuck with the one guy who seemed to love slicing-up kermit more than he liked bathing.

He would just giggle and bounce his B.O.'d self around every time he found a new organ. I tried really hard to think of a name to secretly call the guy, but no insult could ever match his... whatever it was. It was his fault that I got a C- in Biology. I did my best to be involved but this guy would just take over every time I tried to label something nasty in the peeled-open frog. Granted, I was always wrong in the labeling, or I would simply label the organ, "guts," but he sure wasn't too interested in sharing his mad scientist frog-lust knowledge.

Anywho... So this frog-hugging girl decided to change her name to Cutoutdissection.com. I'm sorry, you got national press and all, but that is pretty dumb. If you are going to be named a dot com, then think of something better. I know for darn-sure what mine would be:

SendMeTenThousandDollarsNowOrTheLordWillTakeMeHome.com

That's what I'm talking about. Make the .com name work for you. Make your name into something that will pay you in your sleep. Make your name into something that will inspire people in their faith. Either that or name yourself something that will insult anyone who calls out your name. For instance, I'mATurd.com. Just imagine, your pastor, your teacher. "Hey, ImATurd." and you respond, "Yes, yes you are."

Ah to be a teenager again...


What would be your .com name? (You can take this seriously. You will be laughed at. But this is a free-speakin' blog.)

3 comments:

Electric Monk said...

Poop.com. That way people would have to say "Poop" whenever they address me. And there's nothing funnier than hearing people say "poop."

Susanne said...

I think "milkstainsaresexy.com"
Or "mamaagainstobama.com"
That's just where I am in life right now.

Tully said...

imthebomb.com...so that when I'm at the airport and any of those snarky TSA or gate agents feel like harrassing me by saying my name out loud or over the intercom, we can take them out one by one. Just the mere mention of the word "bomb" would clear the lanes for me to make my flight on time for a change. ;)