Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Lefty Logic

I do not understand this whole business of locking the right door and unlocking the left. This morning, to escape the cold NYC sunrise wind, I just about pulled my arm out of its socket yanking on the right-side door of the MAIN entrance to Starbucks. I'm really trying to grasp the logic here. Are they just afraid that some enormous animal will enter, unexpectedly, and devour all the over-priced treats???

Blog interruption: One must really watch how much fiber one eats. Let's just say that the mouth isn't the only thing that can produce Embouchure.

Anyways, what's so wrong with unlocking BOTH frigga-frackin' doors? Why not the right door? Does Starbucks have a special deal with southpaws? Huh? Huuuuh? 93% of the human race are righties, people. I think the dirt bags behind the counter peddling Americas favorite black-crack just enjoy watching people yank the daylights out of the proper door. Then push. Then finally try the last logical option, the left side.

I can't tell you all the creative words that wanted to spew forth from my mouth as I finally made it through the blasted left door. I mean, I'm already on edge as it is pre-coffee and all.

Next time I think I'm just going to stand in front of the door and pound on it until someone unlocks it.


euphrony said...

93% may be righties, but both my kids are southpaws.

What I really don't understand is how a large group of people will file towards a set of double doors and proceed to try to stuff themselves through only the right door, never opening the left door. Explain that!

Tully said...

Hmmm…I think we should just blame the Democrats…(kidding).

Black crack is right! Their coffee is scrumptious, but paying more for coffee than you do gasoline is nuts (and I do it all the time).

Chaotic Hammer said...

Next time I think I'm just going to stand in front of the door and pound on it until someone unlocks it.

Yeah, Seth. You do that. As people stream in and out of the left door, you continue to stand there steadfastly, pounding on the right door. You won't end up looking like one of those crazy people wandering the streets of NYC murmuring to themselves and acting nonsensically. No, siree.

Seth Ward said...

Euphrony, could it be because their father is a mad genius???

Tully, everything that's wrong with america is the Democrat's fault. ;-)

C-hammer, Yes, I will, thank you very much. It would be worth it. A man's got to put his foot down somehow. So Ha!

majorsteve said...

If one side has to be locked then it makes sense to lock the right one. It may be frustrating when you're entering, but it's easier to exit when your hands are full. What I don't understand is why have double doors in the first place if one side is always locked.

Seth Ward said...

Good point, major...

Your last question baffles me as well.

Open those puppies up!