Friday, February 22, 2008

The Kroger Zone

I walked into the Krogers today to buy Claritin, and instead of heading straight for the Pharmacy, I was struck by the glorious bounty of elbow-room abounding in the place. It felt weird to not rub butts with half the people on my block as I tried to find the dadgum raisin bread. It felt even stranger to not be cussed for accidentally rubbing butts, even though it is usually THEIR butt that rubs into my butt area.

The Kroger in Sugarland was so strange today that it felt a bit like a twilight zone episode. I expected to hear Rod Serling pipe through the Grocery speaker: "A young man... sorry, a young and devilishly handsome man... steps into a familiar place. A place where he used to by his coconut cream pies and cranberry scones..." Okay, not the best impersonation.

I also had a dream last night that I was singing with the Soggy Bottom Boys on Oh Brother Where Art Thou, when we all noticed that the full moon kept getting closer and closer to the earth. Withing minutes, (a very older looking) George Clooney and I were swimming for our lives as the closing moon was causing unbelievable tides to swallow all land on the planet. The moon looked a little like the Palantir in Lord of the Rings.

That, was a cool dream.

4 comments:

Super Churchlady said...

Just out of curiosity....how does being in Kroger segue into dreaming about George Clooney? I'm just trying to follow the train of thought in the complicated mind of Seth Ward.

nancy said...

This is just weird. I'm sitting here watching the Twilight Zone while reading your blog. I better not dream about this!

The Cachinnator said...

You know... there's this whole big world outside of Manhattan. I know! Weird, right? But it's true. We do things like shop without molesting each other, speak for 15 seconds without uttering 4 f-bombs, and breathe without smoking for even days at a time! It's strange but true.

Rob said...

Hey, they have those butt-rubber stores here in H-town as well! We were in one last week downtown (right beside Specs). All full of intense 30-somethings, guy-couples, no parking and narrow aisles. (BTW, isn't "aisle" a strange word? Who thinks up these things?)