Negative people. What do you do with them? You all know what I am talking about. People who are constantly in a bad mood. Always have a scowl on their faces. Nothing is ever going quite the way they want it. What if you are in a situation where you around someone who is constantly in the worst of moods? I am asking you. I have always been of the mind that when you around a negative person, stop being around them. Pray for them, but maybe it is time to cut the ties. Maybe after a while, you realize that you cannot help their negativity and you must move on.
What does that moving on mean? I don't think it means to stop caring about that person, I just think that it means you can't help them by joining them.
Someone once told me, "you rise and fall to the level of your peers." I have always lived by this motto and have included negativity as a level. At times it has made me cold and indifferent. At times it has saved me a lot of grief. I know one thing. There is a line. Where do you draw yours?
I am almost finished with another installment of the Patrick Ward series and in the mean-time I would love to hear your feedback.
Cheerio.
7 comments:
hard question. i think i just take the person in small increments. a don't dump them all together. and, i try to be honest and just tell them that they are negative, in a non-negative way. i figure that i have nothing to loose just saying something, since i don't like them anyway, and at worst, it could improve our situation.
oops, i mean, at BEST, it could improve our situation.
I hear you operamama. It is difficult. Communication is key. I think that sometimes, letting go of that person is the best thing for them and for you. Sometimes you can't "fix" them. It is hard to accept for enablers like you and me but we have to come to terms with it.
Soon they start to effect you and the people around you that you love and that need your encouragement and love just as much.
I guess it is a question of health. For instance, a parent, naturally wants to give their child EVERYTHING they want. But most know that this simply spoils them. Love sometimes doesn't look or feel like we think it should.
I am not saying that you should punish the friend by not speaking to them, this is passive agressive. I am saying that you communicate that "it is best that we move on for now." Or, simply stop responding to the negativity. Sometimes they use if to get much-needed attention.
I'm not really sure exactly what the best way is to deal with negative people -- I think each case is probably a little different and must be handled uniquely.
But I do know exactly what you mean about being around it too much -- it wears on you. For example, if you've ever been in a workplace where one or more people have a negative attitude, then you'll see it spread quickly to everyone, and eventually have a very detrimental effect on everyone's attitude.
I think this is why there is so much in the Bible about watching what you say, and not gossipping or backbiting, and letting your speech reflect the Lord's goodness. Words definitely have the power to change everyone within range of hearing them -- for better or for worse.
The Chief works with a guy who they all call Sunshine. Sarcastic emphasis on that word. They move him around a lot because if he's with anybody too long, he rubs off on them. They also rib him a lot about being so negative and so he tries to lighten up sometimes.
Women are different. If a woman is extremely negative on a continued basis, it's best to limit the contact as much as possible. Women don't take ribbing well and will likely get even meaner if you point out their shortcomings.
In high school I hung out with a girl in my church who was VERY negative (turns out she inherited it from her Mom!). It definitely rubbed off on me so much that I was miserable. I didn't dump her as my friend, but I tried to change the subject when she started complaining. And I started spending more time with people who didn't spend most of their time complaining. I think she got the message from me and from other friends when we stopped enabling her by joining in on the complaining.
These are great suggestions. Good stuff.
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