I have a bad habit. I love changing the words of Praise and Worship songs to Barry White Love-lyrics. I usually sing them to my wife on the way home from Church. She usually tries to ignore me which makes me only want to make the lyrics more.... passionate. She finally responds with a sudden smack and my mission is accomplished. I think that one of the reasons this is so easy is because many of the P & W songs written today sound like the writer is talking about Jesus as if He is his or her boyfriend. I know this is incredibly critical and sacreligious but you will have to pardon my demented mind. Selah came to our Church this last Sunday and after they sang the Oh Danny Boy rip-off song (you raise me up) they sang a few hymns that blew my Mind. One was "There is a Fountain." The theology in this hymn is staggering and heart wrenching. I could never bring myself to re-arrange these tunes into a crappy improvised love song. Well, maybe after a S.B.M. or two. (Secret Baptist Margarita) Thas right, you heard me. Ye without sin cast the first after-church salt shaker.
We take ourselves too seriously in the Church. Atomic clocks, syncronizing services, Lights, Camera, Action, ...Invitation time, cue soft piano (to tug at the heart strings) Preacher or CCM artist begins speaking in a tone of voice that they would never use in the real world. If they did people would either think that they were high, or that they were losing there voice.
Oh well, I guess drama is a part of the whole shin-dig. Its just that lately I am leaning toward a little less drama and a little more awe. A little less marketing and a little more Humility. A little less conversation a little more action.....dangit there I go again.
8 comments:
very interesting. I am especially awed by the lyrics you sing on the way home from church. may I hear them sometime?
S.B.M.!! That is going into the Blogtionary. Well done, heathen.
Current Blogtionary entries:
1. blogalogue, n.
2. bloguerilla, adj.
3. blogass, n.
4. blogalicious, adj.
5. bloggy, adj.
6. unwancom, n.
7. blogosphere, n.
8. blogmares, n. plural
9. S.B.M., n. plural (Secret Baptist Margaritas)
I will be working on definitions for all terms. Then, perhaps, if I'm brave, I'll finally start my own blog and the first entry will be dedicated to the working Blogtionary. Hear, hear!
I do the same thing quite frequently. I think it's because the lyrics to most p&w suck. I play with all lyrics, though, not just the crappy ones.
Recently I adapted "Awesome God", (by the decidedly not sucky Rich Mullens), as an ode to my puppies:
"My dog is an awesome dog she reigns from her kennel above..."
I'm also known to add infinite additional verses to Sonicflood's "Holiness" to suit whatever situation arises:
"Creepiness, creepiness is what we have here...
Stankiness, stankiness is what I run from...
Foolishness, foolishness is what you are now..."
It works in almost any situation.
Wonderful. I admire those who can keep it clean.
You can actually make just about any p&w song an ode to your dog now that I think about it.
Oh dog you are my dog, and I will ever play with you. I will feed you in the morning, you'll learn cool tricks everyday, and step by step you pee pee, cause your mark your world in this way.
Actually Rich didn't like that song much. He thought it was pretty much pudu. He wrote it as a camp song.
The one that always gets the biggest smackis the point of grace song "blue sky"
"With the wind one my back, and the sun on my crack, you are blue skyyyyyyy."
I love the dog idea, i'll be swimming in dog praise songs all day.
This post reminds me of the good old days of Ally McBeal when one of the characters would channel Barry White any time he needed confidence... "Let's Get It Together..." :)
My husband (Gardale) is quite the expert at this. Y'all should form a band. I'll admit his are usually nasty. At the risk of Tracy's reputation, I'll share...
To the tune of "This is the day that the Lord has Made", his words are "this is the day that Gardale gets laid."
His others just go down hill from here, though I do crack up to the point of tee teeing in my pants.
Dude, you guys rock! I'm not insane after all. The only difference is that I sing about my cats instead of my dogs (well, I don't have any dogs right now), and I generally compose original songs about my cats, rather than using praise and worship songs.
I recently had a very grueling stretch of about 3 months where I was working my day job for about 8 to 10 hours, then working on remodeling a house we bought until about midnight each night. And so, as a means of staying sane and occupying an exhausted mind, I composed and refined elaborate tales of my cats' exploits.
Oscar McGillicutty,
Soft little pink-nosed kitty kitty,
Oscar McGillicutty,
Soft little pink-nosed; little kitty pink-nosed; soft little pink-nosed brow!
Big grey beast,
Big grey beast,
Gandalf is the big grey beast!
You know, sophisticated high-brow stuff like that...
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