WARNING! THIS BLOG IS RATED PG-13. THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. CONSULT YOUR PARENT BEFORE READING THIS BLOG
I'm really getting tired of commercials about erectile dysfunction. See, I'm a visual guy. Metaphors and words are powerful things for me. And when I sit down in front of the tube, after a long day of... church, to eat my delectable chirping chicken, the last words I want to hear, the last thing I want to visualize is a dysfunctional erection. I mean, didn't these guys ever learn manners from their parents?
What if I sat down to the table as a youngster, with my family, and right before my dad put that first bite of mashed potatoes and gravy in his mouth, I blurted out, "ERECTION!" What do you think would happen? A good smackin', that's what.
But that happens every day folks. I wonder how many parents have had to explain what the heck an erectile dysfunction is to their young sons or daughters over Superbowl popcorn.
And the music in these commercials... It is really just one step up from porno music. Is that supposed to elicit some sort of pheromone in the poor man watching and help him garner the courage to strut to the pharmacy-counter and ask for blue pill with a studly wink? Me thinks not. And if that ever happens to me, lord of Hosts forbid it, I'll be going to the pharm looking like inspector gadget, with Groucho Marx mustache to boot.
I don't know. I understand Pharmaceuticals advertising and I am truly glad there is something out there giving the world of men such a beautiful hope, and I realize that the word must get out somehow, but they should really start putting ratings on these commercial... Gross-out ratings. Or, "don't-take-that-bite-of-your-corn-dog-just-yet ratings."
Because it's really getting out of hand. This year, I've watched more sports than I have in many, many years and I'm not sure how many men are aware of how-out-of -hand it has gotten. Talk about a downer. How can these commercials not dampen the mood of watching your favorite sporting event? Whatever happened to the funny beer commercials? Cheery Dr. Pepper Commercials? Dancing Gap commercials? I don't drink beer, but they sure were funny. Now all I see is the grim future ahead of me. As if I needed yet another reminder of how much older I'm getting as I watch tennis players who look like they should be going to driver's ED.
I don't care how much you spruce-up the commercial with pseudo-porn music and video clips of middle-aged footsies and hammock snuggling or barefoot walks on the beach... the notion of erectile dysfunction will forever be a bonefied downer.