Saturday, May 12, 2007

Paris, Paris, Paris...

If you've been living in a hole, Paris Hilton was arrested and sentence to 45 days in the slammer for repeated DWI's. Paris blamed and fired her publicist for telling her it was okay. The judge didn't buy it.

So anyhoo, when the judge refused to let Elliot take the fall, the harebrained heiress changed her strategy...and asked her fans to sign a petition urging California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon her because she provides "beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives" Here is the plea to the Govenator:

“the American public who support Paris are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that drunk driving is wrong.
“She provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.
“If the late former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well.”

So let me get this straight... No really, let me get this striaght... (pausing to laugh my butt off.)

Paris wants her fans, to mail the Govenator a letter to get her pardoned because she is prettier than everyone else and that if she wasn't in their lives their existence would be totally worthless?????? That last part about Ford KILLS ME. This is the funniest thing I have heard since... my birth. I just wonder how many rough drafts that letter went through.

FIRST DRAFT: "Dear pathetic fans who wish they were me... I do not deserve this. Many of you do. I am like, totally too pretty for this and maybe someone fat could take my place. If there is a fat fan out there who wants to do this for me, I would really appreciate it. I promise not to call you fat in public and I promise to see if you are okay on the news... You are welcome for being able to watch me on T.V. and wish that you were me."

I honestly didn't think that what she portrayed on television was the real thing. Apparently, what you see is what you get.

Good luck with those letters Paris. However, "I think One Night In The Slammer" might be just what the doctor ordered.


Seth Ward said...


No, I don't think I am better than Paris. I simply find this letter and her total unrepentant, lack of conscience sort of surprising... I normally wouldn't advertise the suffering of another but somehow; Paris's plea to her fans sent me over the edge into the comical.

kddub said...

that is quite funny....
She definitley lives in an altered state of reality!