Wednesday, April 18, 2007


I like to change words in church. I can't help it. Here are a few of my all time favorite phrases that I like to jack-around with.

1. "I am a freind of God He calls me friend" to: "I have a friendly dog we call him Freeeeeed." Or to change it up "I have a friend named Bob his dog is deaaaad."

2. In Shout to The Lord when we sing: "My Jesus, I love You" I sing: "My Amber, I love you Girl there is none Like you..." (I won't sing you the saucy rest.)

3. At the end of "Amazing Love" when we are supposed to sing: "In all I do... I honor you." I sing: "In all I do, this buds for you." (credit to Stacy Holtzman for that one!)

4. This isn't a song but, at church camp in the 4th grade I began pronouncing the book of Deuturonomy to "Dudu-right-on-me" and it has stuck ever-since.

5. "Make Me a Chanel of Blessings" to: "Make me a Salad with dressing today."

I must say that the all-time champ of changing the words to church stuff goes to Brant. Behold, "Change my Heart oh God" in the hands of B-Han.

Check me out, O Lord
See, I'm ever cool
Check me out, O Lord
I guess I kinda rule

You are the potter
I'm like Jars of Clay
'cept a bit younger
I guess more like the Fray

Check me out, O Lord
Check out this earnest look
Check me out, O Lord
See web info to book


The Cachinnator said...

I'm still a big fan of my classic tune, "My dog is an awesome dog..."

Brody Harper said...

I used to sing "Show me the money" to the guys in Third Day for "Show me Your Glory".

Also you can replace "God" with "mom" a lot, but that will get you in trouble

Tomlin... "How great was your... " nevermind

euphrony said...

Dear God, please protect Amber from the lightning when you strike down Seth. Amen.

Mrs. E started me on this: I can't hear Third Day's "You are beautiful, my sweet, sweet song" without thinking "You are beautiful, my sweet cell phone" (picture a man holding his phone at arms-length above his head singing this ode).

My brother and I were at a wedding a number of years ago, and we got bored waiting for things to start. We pull hymnals out of the pew racks and started thumbing through, taking the hymn names and adding "in the bathtub" on the end. Much funnier than it should.

FancyPants said...

Thank you, Euphrony.

Seth Ward said...

You guys are crackin' me. Yes, cach, I am still a huge fan of "Our Dog..." the only reason why it didn't make this list was that I had already blogged about it and felt I was being cheap by double dipping. But yes, it is a constant in my rep.

Brody, that Show me Your Glory song cracked me because I always sing "Show me your Glory, and I'll show you mine baby." Thats terrible but it always gets a fun smack out of Amber.

The Tomlin one will be used on a regular basis.

Euphrony, You are beautiful my sweet cell phone" made me about spew my O.J. all over my computer. I had never thought of that and always wanted to sing: You are a beautiful my sweet sweet thong." I know, I know, terrible. And I don't wear thongs, but I have a warped sense of humor and should be punished.

In the bathtub is WAAAAAY funnier that in the bedroom.

So glad to know that I have few fellow unorthadox pals out there.

Stephen said...

One of the producers I've been working with recently sings in a P+W group, and he said they were at a charismatic church not too long ago where they sang "Days of Elijah". In the bridge, the lyrics are "There's no God like Jehovah", repeated ad nauseum. The tempo kept speeding up and was faster than they had meant at that point, and everybody in the congregation was pretty much in a frenzy. So the lead singer decided to change the lyrics, and the only guys who could hear him were the other band members wearing in-ear monitors. He changed the words to "There's no God, take your clothes off, there's no God, take your clothes off," etc. No one had a clue.

Seth Ward said...

That is stinkin' funny. It is just as funny to imagine that congregation to speeding up.

We were playing this "cantata" thing last easter and one of the songs was "God of Wonders." Well, the arrangement sounded like Holst or John Williams. You know the whole "God of woneders beyond our GALAXY" Anyways, for kicks I was playing keyboards with the spacy sounds and I sorta snuck in the theme from Star Wars on each key change. The bass player got a kick out of it. I think I played it 4 times and not a soul but him noticed.

Not that funny but REALLY fun.

Susanne said...

I loved those Brant lyrics too! I laugh so hard every time I read those. Yours cracked me up too. :)

MamasBoy said...

I haven't laughed that hard in awhile. Thanks everyone.