Sunday, June 24, 2007

Thoughts After a Sunday Nap

When I turned sixteen I inherited my sister's Mustang. In less than 8 months I totaled it. I can still hear the sound of screeching tires, breaking glass and crunching metal. I also remember my seatbelt catching me. Funny the things you remember about those situations.

I often wonder how people know if your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. I mean, how do they know? Yeah, they can say "well I almost died" but that still doesn't count because you didn't. A minor quibble but still, maybe dying isn't like that part on the movie Armageddon when Bruce Willis says "we win Gracie...” and then blows the asteroid into two perfect parts which happens to be the biggest pile of unrealistic barbecued horse-patookey since that episode of Buck Rogers where there was a snow storm in space.

I think that may be the only film ever made where an Oil driller saved Earth… But hey, its Bruce Willis.

And I've always wondered what audiences would have done if instead of the bomb going off when Willis punches the button and says "we win Gracie" he frantically punches the button and nothing happens. And then the asteroid hits Earth and the credits roll up the screen to the backdrop of a burning red glowing Earth. Yeah, that would have been funny. Kubrick would have done it that way. (See Dr. Strangelove.)

Okay, I’m thirsty. Time to make some sweet tea and get to work. Until next time…

Keep your eyes out for Asteroids and pray that government will find the best oil diggers that Amarrca has to save Earth. (I'm sure they'll throw in a cookey Russian to the team so they won't feel left out) And when they do save the Earth, because they always do (if they've got a good nuke,) make sure to do your part and have some kickin’ Aerosmith ready on your radio to show your love for our Oil-drillin’ stud-bucket nuke-packing super heroes.

Yippie Ki-yay.

Tea time.

What the heck. For your film enrichment... The final scene from Dr. Strangelove. Both President and Dr. Srangelove are the Late Great Incomparable Peter Sellers. (One of my favorite Movies)


euphrony said...

I have a friend in high school who got a new Mustang for his 18th birthday. He totaled it in less than eight hours.

Top that!

Seth Ward said...

Sorry, that's pretty stiff competition there.

Doubt I can top that.