SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - Bars along San Antonio's Riverwalk do brisk trade when a convention is in town -- unless that convention has drawn over 10,000 Southern Baptists.
"Nothing," is how Shana Larson, manager of the Coyote Ugly Saloon on the Riverwalk, summed up business this week as the city known for its carefree exuberance hosts the annual meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention.
"Everybody gives us no business at all. None of them is going to come to a bar to drink any kind of alcohol," she said.
Southern Baptists follow a conservative brand of Christianity that discourages alcohol consumption.
The Riverwalk is a popular tourist attraction that follows the San Antonio River through the downtown area and is lined with restaurants, shops, hotels and bars.
On Tuesday night restaurants along the Riverwalk were packed with long lines of people waiting for tables, but bars were conspicuously quiet.
"Obviously, most of our sales come from sales of our spirits, liquor, beer, and wine, and we're not seeing any action there this week," said Cory Neal, manager of Pat O'Brien's on the River.
One Baptist convention delegate said he could tell that waiters and waitresses were less than thrilled, not least because a big bar tab often translates into a hefty tip.
"You're in a Mexican restaurant and they say you must try the margaritas. When you order a raspberry tea you can see the look of disappointment in their faces. But I try to be a generous tipper," the delegate said.
This News just in from Seth: For some reason, this here news is cracking me up something fierce. The poor Khaki Pants and Perfect Hair-Part Club just cant get a break these days.
In other news: 2000 years ago, a man named Jesus was spotted in a bar with a bunch of sinners. This of course was after he went to a wedding and turned a bunch of water into wine and made the Bride and Groom really happy. Not to mention the rest of the Party. So if you had the choice, do you think a sinner would ask a Southern Baptist to their wedding or Jesus? And no, Jesus wasn't a Southern Baptist.
Btw, I was at the SBC convention and apparently, moderates have retaken the convention and a Moderate President sits on the throne instead of “the chosen one” that the high Fundie council had anointed. Hallelujah. There were 3 things the NEW President said that stuck out to me. (From memory so a bit paraphrased.)
1. "We (Southern Baptists) have been obsessed with our own personal agendas instead of winning souls and we should repent."
2. We need to stop worrying if a Missionary believes in speaking in tongues or if they drink in moderation and worry about Lost souls. We’ve been to busy trying to align Jesus with the SBC and not aligning ourselves with Him and his Great commission.
3. We have lost sight of the Gospel and have been preoccupied with fighting each other, thus setting a poor example of the body of Christ. (I thought I was going to have to restrain my dad from the rejoicing.)
So I hear his wonderful statements, (and I really do think that they are wonderful and its ABOUT FRIGGIN TIME) and then I read about the complaining bartenders and I think the Southern Baptists could have killed 3 birds with one stone!
I say, the Southern Baptists should have all got together at the local bars, had a beer with a couple of sinners (or maybe bought them a beer), talked with them about Jesus and the Gospel, gave them a big tip, and voila! Mission accomplished.
All in all, I was just amazed that there weren’t any resolution this year banning Women from something, or something bashing Gays. I was sure we would get some kind of Gay Bashing resolution or “Women-shut-the-hell-up -the-fat-mouthed-husband-is-the-boss” commandment from the grand Baptist Kingpin Kahuna. But alas, there sits a president who believes “the truth is important, but so is the truth spoken in love.”
Those dang moderates. They just spoil all the fun and make us look like we love people. I don’t think I can take another year of the moderates. Time to bus all the kids up and fake them as delegates again. Maybe they can get the current President fired and escorted out by armed guards like they did the moderate peace-loving hippie sombitch President of Southwest Seminary a few years back. I WAN’T SOME FUNDIE ACTION AND I WANT IT NOW.