Hot Yoga and the Secret Plan to Rule the World

Well, I guess I will return to "Hot" Yoga tonight with my wife. It is called "hot" because, well they keep the room FRIGGIN' hot. Last time I went i thought I was going TO DIE. If you have not been to Yoga, or as i like to call it,-"torture," you are really missing out. You might be asking: " Seth, how can we be missing out if you are calling it torture" I'll tell you my fine readers. ... I Challenge you, heed these words.

Now, I am a man, and men have their pride. I went into a room with about 20 other women. Mind you, these women, with the exception of my fantastically beautiful wife, were not all models and hard bodies. After 5 minutes of stretching and laying down in room 107 degree I thought I was going to barf and collapse while all the other middle-aged women in there were just catching there stride. I was thinking to myself, "how can this be??" "I am not a complete lard-ass, I don't smoke (anymore) I am relatively thin, not to mention handsome in Apollonian proportions. (yeah right)."

I guess it all goes back to the dishwater-pain factor and the secret plot for women to rule the world. I'll explain. My mother could wash dishes with her bare hands in darn-near 400 degree water, turn around tell me to finish the dishes, I put my hand into the water wail a redirected curse word (i.e. shiiiiiiiiiifffft) quickly pull them out a to find that my hands had been reduced to a steaming skeleton. My eyes would race from the remnants of my hands to hers, looking for some sign of damage. For a few years after, I acutally suspected that my mother was a mutant of some sort. It still boggles the mind. Here is my conclusion. (darting my eyes back and forth, leaning in to whisper to you)

-WOMEN ARE STRONGER.

That's all there is to it. The garden of Eden, that whole, "oh the serpent deceived me business" that was all a big hoax. She used the devil. It is brilliant if you think about it. The majority of the blame went to the Lucifer and Adam. She KNEW that once Adam could notice her in the nude that the world would be hers FOREVER. It is not the Devil to which man relinquished his control. It was the woman. Yoga, well..., lets just call that booty camp for control. How much pain, can they endure while making themselves more beautiful. Only a powerful and brilliant being could come up with such a thing. Once again it boggles the mind.

So why do I return tonight? To spy, learn all I can, and then someday.... be able to.... throw my underwear anywhere I want when I take a shower. AHAHAHAAHHA!!!!! Its only a matter of time men, a matter of time. The return of the King will be soon, and when that day comes.... sorry gotta go, the wife needs me to run some errands... to be continued...