You might be a redneck if...

A very nice redneck though.

Reminds me of a story...

I was once running (a very, very long time ago... I despise running. Unless someone is shooting at me or if I'm being charged by a bull, both of which I've experienced; I very much appreciate running in those cases. Anyways...) So, I was running, and flying straight towards me was a bug the size of small hotweel. My peaceful jog turned into quite the spectacle as I gyrated all over the place to dodge the bug. After jumping, and feeing quite dippy, I searched for the bug. It was nowhere to be found. I didn't like this because the bug was so big I could have watched it fade into the sky over the trees. I searched my clothes high and low for the bug. Didn't find it. So, I went on my merry way.

I went home and started doing the sit ups. Except I noticed that every time I would sit up, I would hear a strange buzzing noise. At first I thought it was the couch or whatever was leveraging my feet. It quickly became apparent that it wasn't. I noticed a LARGE black lump in the armpit of my t-shirt. Then came the incredible pinch.

I went outside, bunched the bug up in the t-shirt in a little wad and started smashing it with stone from my mom's flower garden. And that just BARELY killed the biggest beetle that I've every seen. Not even a smattering of guts. In fact, I think I probably just gave it a concussion.

So, there's my hidden/stowaway creature story.