Tuesday, April 08, 2008

I'll Take a Shot

I have decided that I want in on this blowing-the-torch-out action. Not because I hate the Chinese or anything, but because it sounds like fun and like it or not, pissing Chinese people off is a little bit funny. But alas, the torch is across the mainland, far away from my glass of water.

I don't know why we are all so mad about the Chinese though... if we were really mad, I suppose we'd stop wearing about half our clothing, stop using half our electronic devices and we'd stop paying our taxes because thanks to George W., the GREATEST presidente since Andrew Jackson, we are now in debt to China up to our yingyangs.

But, I need my T.V. because American Idol is on and I want to watch and then later, on the news, I want to see if somebody gets in a lucky shot on the torch.

I also heard that the Chinese are now vowing to protect the torch. Weeeeell, maybe in California, a.k.a., sissy-ville, (with the exception of the Govenator- who won because he scared all the sissies) but if that torch came through Texas, the Red army would have a hard time fending off the long range fire-extinguishers that every red-blooded Texan has in each and every closet of their giant homes. Plus, we got oil down there. And the oil men of Texas know how to put out a fire, regardless of how many Ninjas they've got dancing like cracker-jack-chickens around the flame.

Here's and idea: To protest the Chinese, like ever' red-blooded hippy should, I am going run through the living room tonight (all 6 feet of it) with a candle and Amber is going to chunk water on it. Then I'm going to jump around and act angry while I do a few Ninja moves and make up dirty Chinese words. Then I'll sit down with her, pop some popcorn and watch two full hours of Dancing and Singing on my Chinese-special High-def television.

Problem solved.

I should be a politician.

5 comments:

The Cachinnator said...

Your protest will only be deemed acceptable if it is filmed and posted on YouTube.

Chaotic Hammer said...

I should be a politician.

Feh. You wouldn't last 30 seconds. You have this nasty annoying habit of speaking the truth.

Popcorn said...

I like the popcorn part. Nice way to end your protest. :)

Fork said...

Dude, it's amazing what you can find when you go to google and type, "Why are people protesting the olympic torch?"

Seriously. Give it a try.

I'm about to google things like, "What the crap is a recession anyway?" and "Can we REALLY trust Obama?"

Seth Ward said...

Cach, I'll think about it. Seriously.

C-hammer, politicians are poo. And you are right, I do tell only the truth. Especially about movies.

Popcorn, have you tried Kettle Corn? YUM. I think my popcorn name will be kettlecornward.

Fork, it is also amazing what you will find if you google: chinese, cat, noodles, pigeon poo. And NO, we really can't trust Obama.

Give me Gore. All 397 pounds of him.