Saturday, April 19, 2008

HWBJAR? = How Would Bad Jesus-Actor Respond?

I'm always trying to find new and creative ways to respond to people that either annoy or offend me. From now on, I am going to respond to them as if I am a bad Jesus actor in one of those old horrible Easter movies.

I think I might be the perfect solution. For instance, every time someone approaches me and says something like, "Excuse me, I was here first," when they really weren't first before me in the Starbux line, I will turn to them with a look of peace and say, very calmly, "And that is not all that isn't first in your life, my child." (Referring to them as "my child," even if it is an old lady.)

Then I would slightly close my eyes and make some sort of prophesy. "In fact, you should be thinking about who your husband has first in his life... your nanny seems to be enjoying first dibs at a great many things..., my child."

It is very important, if you try this, that you end everything with "my child."

However, I would refrain from trying this out on your spouse. I have a feeling it won't have the same effect.

I'm thinking Brant should try this on his morning show to various callers.


nancy said...

That is so hilarious, I mean helpful, my child.

Electric Monk said...

Wow, it's like responding to someone as Yoda, but even more patronizing.

bigtoe said...

That is too funny! I always felt guilty because I didn't like Bad Jesus Actor.

euphrony said...

I think if Brant tried this, a mod would form to try and stone him. A prophet is never accepted in his hometown . . .

Seth Ward said...

Thanks Nancy!

Electric Monk, welcome! And what a cool name. Where did you get it?

Big toe, feel guilty no more. Just because it's "Christian" doesn't mean that it is good. I think that the acceptance of poor Christian art is one of the reasons why a bunch of the unbelieving world thinks we are all delusional.

Euphrony, You are probably right. I mean, the man has already suffered enough from the A.I. Shout to the Lord stuff.

MamasBoy said...

I'd be too chicken that the old lady would clobber me for being so disrespectful. I'm a wimp like that, but it would be entertaining to vicariously experience your dangerous living through your blog, so let us all know if you ever actually try this out on somebody.


majorsteve said...

Seth this is totally off topic and I'm not really sure what brings me here, but I have a question: I've read a few Mozart biographies and have never been able to discern if he was a "Christian" or not. I am certain he believed in God but I really don't know if he was "saved", to use a relatively recent era term. Do you have any idea about this? Sorry for the digression.