The Ward's have left the building. (Building= Kenyucky... I mean, Kencrusty... I mean, Ken*ucky... WHOA!... I MEAN... KenTUCKY. There. Darn these Strangelove fingers.)
No, seriously, there were many things that I loved about Kentucky. I'm just too interested in being catty right now to list them.
First of all, I'd like to introduce the state to a little thing called, "Evolution." The bugs and critters have not yet discovered that Man, is in fact, the dominant species, and that we will kill if provoked.
Second, I would like to introduce you to a good friend of health-savy, Jenny Craig. Seriously, stop the Maddness. Burn down every fast-food establishment in your town. Throw away the motorcade of remote controled wheel-chairs and start moving your limbs. No wonder no one in Prestonsburg liked Wall-E. They must have felt some royalties were due.
I have so much to say... Sheesh. So much happened when I stepped in to that wrinkle in time. So many funny things happened to me, that have never happened before. New experiences.
So, for starters, we are going to play a game called: "Before I lived in Kentucky I had Never:"
Before I lived in Kentucky I had never: Listened to three Copper-head snakes being decapitated-by-hoe in the soft grass, six feet from where I was sitting in an orchestra pit, while I'm playing "Merry Old Land of OZ."
Before I lived in Kentucky I had never: Experienced the sensation of a large Moth flying down the back of my pants, getting lodged in the top of my crack and flutter for its pinched life while I played "What I Did for Love."
To be continued....