Monday, August 18, 2008

We're baaaaaack.

The Ward's have left the building. (Building= Kenyucky... I mean, Kencrusty... I mean, Ken*ucky... WHOA!... I MEAN... KenTUCKY. There. Darn these Strangelove fingers.)

No, seriously, there were many things that I loved about Kentucky. I'm just too interested in being catty right now to list them.

First of all, I'd like to introduce the state to a little thing called, "Evolution." The bugs and critters have not yet discovered that Man, is in fact, the dominant species, and that we will kill if provoked.

Second, I would like to introduce you to a good friend of health-savy, Jenny Craig. Seriously, stop the Maddness. Burn down every fast-food establishment in your town. Throw away the motorcade of remote controled wheel-chairs and start moving your limbs. No wonder no one in Prestonsburg liked Wall-E. They must have felt some royalties were due.

I have so much to say... Sheesh. So much happened when I stepped in to that wrinkle in time. So many funny things happened to me, that have never happened before. New experiences.

So, for starters, we are going to play a game called: "Before I lived in Kentucky I had Never:"

Here goes.

Before I lived in Kentucky I had never: Listened to three Copper-head snakes being decapitated-by-hoe in the soft grass, six feet from where I was sitting in an orchestra pit, while I'm playing "Merry Old Land of OZ."

Before I lived in Kentucky I had never: Experienced the sensation of a large Moth flying down the back of my pants, getting lodged in the top of my crack and flutter for its pinched life while I played "What I Did for Love."

To be continued....


Amy said...

Oh my gosh have I missed your blog!!! That was the best laugh I've had today. Can't wait to hear the rest! ;)

Anonymous said...

First off, it's good to have you back.

Secondly, I love the new game! More!

Popcorn said...

When it finally sunk in that you could not blog from Kentucky, I went through a serious blogpression. So glad you are back!

Kelly said...

Welcome back!

Chaotic Hammer said...

Wow, I guess it didn't really occur to me that they had copperheads there. We hiked about 5 miles over the course of the weekend, through the mountains and along the shore of the lake. If Nanx had realized there were copperheads, I don't think she would have hiked with me. But we didn't see any, so it was all good.

We had a blast!