Monday, August 18, 2008

Kentucky Apartment Chronicles, (abridged verstion.)

So, I had planned to closely chronicle the Kentucky apartment saga/experience, reliving every morsel on this here blog. I have now grown bored with that notion. It's time to move on. I offer you the late-nite cliff-note/Tarzan (or slightly Tanto-ish, I can't decide...)version.

Kentucky remind Sethzan of Jungle where he grow up. Big bugs used to cary little Sethzan accross Jungle. Used to make Sethzan go boom boom in loincloth. Sethzan kill big Kentucky jungle spider to conquer childhood fear.

Kentucky Jungle make me feel at home, until we reach cabin. Bunch of people in the Cabin. Sethzan no like. Sethzan cannot make bathroom thunder sounds without all other man/woman-people hearing.

Sethzan hint to producer to move him and woman to nother tree. Him say, "We'll see." Him give Sethzan a wink. Sethzan think that his man-charm has scored a nice place for him and woman to have some... alone... stuff. Sorry, Sethzan has to stop typing for second to beat chest for woman painting her toe claws.

Back now. Where was I?... Oh.

Producer returns next day and says we stay at apartment. Sethzan and Amber do a little happy dance. Sethzan goes to view apartment. Apartment look like several chimps throw crazy parties on the carpet. Apartment also smell like chimps had pee pee contest near bed and the biggest bubba chimp won.

Sethzan break news to woman. Woman sees for-self. Woman holds nose.

Sethzan and woman complain to winking producer. Winking producer sends young helper to clean it. Young helper was like bad gorilla. Him not do good job.

Sethzan and woman think they stuck in chimp-pee/poo hotel. We real sad. Us spray lots of Febreeze. Too much we thinking. We start having bad dreams and having glowing tinkle water from the fumes.

Then, next day, bathtub fill up with poop water. This last bamboo stalk.

Finally we move into another house. Very nice. Owned by very nice man. Him also own a very nice woman. Rest of summer we sleep gooder.

The End.

5 comments:

Super Churchlady said...

OMGosh - what have they done to you!!!

The Cachinnator said...

Ah, how I've missed you...

Popcorn said...

Can't wait to hear the whole saga. You must have several years worth of blogfodder for us!

euphrony said...

What do you know - he lives!

Susanne said...

Thanks for a great laugh today! I've missed you guys!!!