This story unfolds on a quiet night around Halloween in Springfield, Missouri. My dad and I had just finished chopping and stacking some wood for the up-coming cold front. We came inside, sat down and flipped on the tube just in time for a Thursday night movie. That movie at that particular time happened to be "Indecent Proposal" starring Demi Moore and Woody Harleson. Now, I don't know if you have heard of this movie but the scenario goes a bit like this.
Demi and Woodie are a happy in-love couple. They take all their money to Vegas in hopes of getting their dream home for a million bucks. They almost make it all gambling, they get cocky and then big surprise, they loose it all. The next night Demi is trying on a dress at a Hotel shop and Robert Redford enters the story, a rich Billionaire visiting Vegas. He gets the hots for Demi and later invites her and Woody up for some poker and drinks in his big nice suite. After a while he hears about their plight and offers them 1 million bucks to sleep with Demi.
You can watch the rest of the movie to find out what happens.
At this point I don't know if my dad is interested in this movie or not. He has been disturbingly still and quiet the whole time, and for my dad, this is amazing. He can barely sit through the BEST of movies.
Together we watch as Robert Redford pops the million dollar question to Woodie, and then the movie goes to commercial. After a commercial or two still sitting in silence, totally curious I turn to my dad and ask,
"Dad, so what would YOU do if someone asked you if he could sleep with mom for a million dollars"
My dad waits a few seconds to respond. This builds the suspense for me. Now I KNOW he's been watching. He nods his head slowly as if he has already contemplated this and has come to the conclusion long ago. He turns to me, looking a little pissed yet calm, and says with his thick Oklahoma preacher accent:
"Well, I'd say, 'Hey, she's a grown woman and she can make up her own mind... But while she's thinkin' it over... I'm gonna STOMP YOUR ASS."
The movie came back on and that was the end of that conversation.
10 comments:
what a man...
Yes! Another Pat story!
So, like father like son? What would you do, Seth?
I wouldn't have lost at gambling. I'm an expert gambler!
No I probably would have said, 'well sorry no but I do have Ford Taurus and it's in excellent condition'
This reminded me of that old story that's often attributed to Winston Churchill...
A man is talking with a woman. He asks her, "Would you sleep with me for five million dollars?"
She thinks about it a bit and says, "Well, that is so much money… I suppose I would."
He then asks, "Well, will you sleep with me for five dollars?"
She gets angry and exclaims, "What kind of woman do you think I am?!?"
He replies, "We’ve already established what kind of woman you are; now we are just haggling over the price."
I love that story! I hadn't heard that.
yeah, you really need to start that book about your dad if you haven't! you have such great ideas! let us know how that book is going! it would be a shame if your dad didn't get to have such a thing!
Ouch, man. I know who you are Operamama, and I know what that comment meant! Awesome!
And Fancypants, that is an excellent question, and for my money, Seth failed to give a strong enough answer. My honor would be mortally wounded if I were Amber.
I would have answered by yelling, "Look, he's got a gun!" That way my legal defense would be all prepared after I knocked his head inside out.
Totally agree, Cach. If I were Amber, I would be slightly miffed at being valued the same as a Ford Taurus.
oh come on. You know the person that asked that question would be missing 99% of their teeth if they made that offer.
Come on, who's son do you take me for? Secondly, I we wouldn't be in that position in the first place, ever. My wife is so amazing that she wouldn't even consider going and gambling JUST so that we could live in a big fancy house. Her dreams are a bit more profound than that I think. Not that having or wanting a big house is bad, it is just that whoring her body for a monitary posession wouldn't enter into the furthest chasm of her fantasticaly beautiful mind.
Much more profound. I would consider gambling so that we could live in a big fancy house AND buy a lifetime unlimited Bikram Yoga class card.
Your second answer to Fancy's question is the one I will accept. Besides, (in response to your first attempt) I wasn't aware that you are a gambler, much less an expert one.
But you have redeemed yourself because that second answer of yours was aweful sweet.
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