Tuesday, June 27, 2006

I'M CCM BAD

So we have been house-sitting for a few days. This morning I picked up a copy of CCM ("Contemporary Christian Music Magazine" for my non-Christian-music-listening-readers/buddies) that our friendly homeonwners subscribe to. Flipping through I have one question to ask every musician in those nifty pictures and advertisements. -"Who died?" EVERY SINGLE PICTURE of a band or solo artist looks like they are on the verge of: 1. Suicidal thoughts 2. Loosing their home to government repossesion or 3. About to kick everybody's butt starting with the camera guy.

I hate to be critical but I find myself sort of depressed as I flip through the pages of uber-solemn-madman-esque glares. I am sure there is a mountain of talent in each artist and it is incredibly important to express oneself, but do we all have to manufacture scowls to be so dang cool? I just don't believe that everyone is that hacked, Christians no less. "I'm Chrisitan and I'M PISSED ABOUT IT so BACK OFF...BUCKO (followed by a rockstar kick and air guitar riff)!!!"

I tend to think that it is simply the "cool" factor kicking in. Its all about acceptance. "The world won't take me seriously unless I look serious, i.e. EXTREMELY ANGRY." I just have this sneaking suspicion that these scowling chaps are really much happier than they appear.

The equivalent was back in the 80's Michael Jackson put out that song and video "Bad" Where he strutted his stuff around like a West Side Story skit on crack. Even I, at the age of 9 didn't buy it. We all knew he was a big wimp and any girl in the dance chorus could have mopped the floor with him.

So come on guys, your touring the States with your best buddies, you've got big record deals, you live in a plush touring bus, you are mostly in good health, AND you are in a magazine which means someone out there likes your music. So come out of that closet, you are really in a good mood. Admit it. Show it. No need to fold your arms and push your bicepts out to make them look bigger. You are who you are, a Jesus Freak and proud of it.

Come on, sing it with me...

"I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free...

9 comments:

Seth Ward said...

I am really not trying to take a stab at any of these guy's integrity by calling them disingenuous. I was just struck by the sheer volume of scowls. Even the Rolling Stone magazine takes a few smiling snaps of even the most hardend and stoned rock-star.

I am really wondering if it has something to do with acceptance and recognition.

Seth Ward said...

Yes except in the opera world the guys always have one eyebrow raised and a tinge of a come-hither look in their photo-op's.

You couldn't pay me enough cashola to take a picutre with my tummy showing. It would be pretty dang funny though.

Baca's Head said...

My personal favorite CCM pose is the whole band in nice, clean turtle necks wrapped up together in a long strand of multi-colored Christmas lights

Seth Ward said...

Yeah, I love that one. I guess if its not one extreme its another.

Seth Ward said...

Nice. What about a snapshot of the worst looking church Christmas play you can find. For the man playing Jesus, a man with a fake beard, a robe that is too short, a plastic looking staff, rubber flip-flops and wearing a pair of glasses teaching some kids and a few of the kids are waving at there moms and one is just picking his nose.

Seth Ward said...

I guess it would have to be easter if it was a man Jesus huh?

Chaotic Hammer said...

Seth - I know you know this but... they probably have a great big photo shoot, and take hundreds of pictures.

Then some marketing/publicist person decides which ones look "trendy", and that's what they put in the magazines and other publications.

Right now, that's what is "hip". Serious faces, scowls, cool detachment, you know -- that whole "poser" thing that everyone used to make fun of in the past.

And rightly so. :-)

operamom said...

i'm late, but i must say that this entry cracked me up.

Seth Ward said...

Good point C-Hammer. It is probably more the Mag's doings than the artist's. So true. It puts a little better perspective on it if you know that maybe there 10 pictures taken of the band in their natural state, and one where the photographer said "okay, look ticked (snap) alright everyone thats a rap" -the mag comes out and the serious one gets on the cover.