Thursday, June 22, 2006

The Grass is Bluer

Swimming pools. We have all had times in our lives where we thought we have wanted them. The young poor Oklahoma boy plays in a sandpile with some hand-me-down G.I. Joes and a couple of worms for massive serpents and thinks to himself "man I wish I had a swimming pool like the O'dells do down the street"

Amber and I have been house sitting now for a day and will be for the next two weeks. In the back yard is a very nice swimming pool. When they asked us to house sit, one of the first comments made to us to tantilize us was "we've got a swimmin' pool" Suddenly my mind is flooded with thoughts of gliding underwater free as a fish or sitting by the pool warming up after a good swim rich-man style.

Truth is, I have yet to step 10 feet of the thing.

Come on, really what is so great about a swimming pool? When you go over to a persons house do you ever see anyone swimming. No. You see a father reluctantly and annoyingly cleaning the sucker, probably thinking "what a pain in the buttcheek" He then probably immagines the water turning to money and watches the money flow in and out of the filters. He would if he were my dad anyway.

Its not just that, its that actual getting in that is also un-fun. (good word, admit it) Especially for men. You know the drill men. You step in, foot by foot. Then as the water makes it's way up your legs your body is covered in tortorous freezing bumps. Then you look down and notice that you have 4 inches left till the freezing water reaches the ole' reproductive compadres. You know this is going to suck so you do a sudden fake out and splash em'. It is a wonder that we do this. I mean, its not like we can really fake em' out or anything. "Hey look! an asteroid!" SPLASH SPLASH!!!! "HA HA fooled you!"

Anyway, I guess the moral of the story is this; I am really wanting to swim but I am too lazy to go an do it. I am trying to find excuses not to swim. If I had the choice I would still pick a house with a swimming pool. You are all going to die someday. Go for a swim.

How's that for wise words?

Splash your neighbor and splash them often!

13 comments:

Seth Ward said...

It's pretty bad when you are too lazy to swim. Sheesh

Lexie Ward said...

Definition of a swimming pool from a swimming pool owner:

A hole in the backyard you pour money into.

Lexie Ward said...

I wonder if your wife knows, Seth, that certain chemicals in certain hair products react with chlorine to turn lighter colored locks green?

FancyPants said...

As I have stated previously,

He tries it, he's toast.

However, Joey is coming in this weekend. Perhaps he knows this trick? Seth, be on the lookout.

The Fal said...

How could you not use a pool in TX?! I grew up with a pool, and it was the only way I could stand being outside in that heat. It will be so worth it once you get past that initial shock on your reproductive area. Wow, I really don't know you well enough to talk about that part of your body, but you mentioned it first. :)

Chaotic Hammer said...

Well, I never thought I'd ever own a pool, but the house we bought here in Tennessee has an in-ground pool in the back yard.

It's kind of funny, because when we were house hunting, I was completely indifferent about whether or not we got a pool, but my wife was quite insistent that it was high on her list. And now that we have it, I swim almost daily (time and weather permitting) and she only swims about half as much as I do.

We've already had some pool parties, and have several families from our small group with kids who all have an open invitation -- our pool is their pool -- and happily they actually take us up on that, and the joyful sounds of kids laughing and playing has become commonplace during the hot months (like now).

I don't really see the point in having something cool like a pool and not sharing it with everyone.

As far as expenses to maintain it, they haven't really been too bad so far, and we've already learned that you can save a ton of money by learning to do a lot of the maintenance yourself.

Lexie Ward said...

A pool is the one place where you can feel absolutely weightless, no matter how much you weigh. YOu can float and look at the blue, blue sky or float at night and examine the stars. It can really provide a calming experience if you allow it to.

Seth Ward said...

Campfire, I like that "no matter how much you weigh" part! I especially like that look at the stars part. Maybe I'll do that! May have to break out the wine. (grape juice that is) ; )

Lexie Ward said...

Yes, definitely try it. The pool had some stressful times for me when the kids were little and climbing all over me or arguing and splashing and I had to worry constantly about them drowning each other. But then there were those star gazing moments when I could steal a few moments to myself.
Another good place to relax and survey the firmament: a trampoline.

Anonymous said...

Grab a box of dish detergent and have a mondo bubble bath! Your friends would totally love that.

Seth Ward said...

well, I have swam in the pool for two days now and I love it. C-Hammer, I think i would swim in it every day as well.

Lindsey, I did bring it up so it makes it fair game for all.

FancyPants said...

You mean, the discussion of it is fair game for all,

right?

Uhhhh....ack-ward.

operamom said...

yet again, i am late, but you are giving me some major, major laughs here.