Friendship and Encouragement (Don't fear the Atheist)

That's a cheezy title for a blog but we are talking about Tolkien and Lewis so they have enough weight in the genius of their legacy to make up for my lack of creativity.

I was reading Reading Fancy's blog, and I was taken back to the first time I read that Tolkien and Lewis were friends. It is now pretty common knowledge but maybe some of you didn't know that. I am a big Tolkien and Lewis nut so I never get tired of hearing about it.

The neatest thing about their friendship lies in two things for me. First, In the beginning Tolkien befriended an Atheist (Lewis) and was most instrumental in his conversion.

Second, that Lewis, with the gift of encouragement, spurred Tolkien on to complete his Lord of the Rings books and convinced him that other people would like it.

So there you have it. A man that 30 years ago, no one would have ever known was a Christian, Tolkien, influencing an Atheist colleague to Christ, a man everyone now and everywhere identifies with Christianity. Then Lewis goes on to influence an old Devout Catholic that his Mythical world needed to be developed, completed, and shared with the world.

It is no wonder that Lewis described friendship as one of God most precious gifts. I think Americans, specifically males, in some ways have lost touch with true friendships. A great friendship can inspire you to be more than you ever thought or dreamed you could be. At the core of it is the same kind of Love that Christ had for his disciples.

Tolkien wrote this about Lewis: "The unpayable debt I owe to him was not "influence" as it is ordinarily understood, but sheer encouragement. He was for long my only audience. Only from him did I ever get the idea that my "stuff" could be more than a private hobby. But for the encouragement of C.S. Lewis, I don't think I should ever have completed, or offered for publication The Lord of the Rings."

Later, Lewis owed his turning point towards Christianity to this conversation that he had one night with Lewis waking casually by the river after dinner. This came from a letter from Dyson, later confirmed by Tolkien and Lewis.

"After dinner Lewis and Tolkien began discussing the nature of myth. Lewis explained that he felt the power of myths, but that they were ultimately untrue. As he expressed it to Tolkien, myths were 'lies, even though lies breathed through silver.'

"No," Tolkien replied emphatically. "They are not."

Tolkien resumed, arguing that myths, far from being lies, were the best way of conveying truths which would otherwise be inexpressible. He said, "We have come from God, and inevitably the myths woven by us, though they contain error, will also reflect a splintered fragment of the true light, the eternal truth that is with God. Since we are made in the image of God, and since God is the Creator, part of the imageness of God in us is the gift of creativity. The creation- or more correctly, the sub-creation- of stories or myths is merely a reflection of the image of the Creator in us. The story of Christ was the True Myth, a myth that works in the same way as the others, but a myth that really happened- a myth that existed in the realm of fact as well as in the realm of truth. In the same way that men unraveled the truth through the weaving of story, God revealed the Truth through the weaving of history."

Can you imagine Tolkien would have shunned a true friendship because of a religious disagreement? And furthermore, aside from the conversion, can you imagine if both of the talented and gifted men would have kept their mutual admiration to themselves, seeing a rival instead of a friend?

Summer Films: 0 for 2

I haven't been too impressed with the summer blockbusters this year. I wonder if I am getting spoiled. Then I wonder if the filmmakers are getting spoiled. With the help of special effects and unlimited cash they can make a squid faced guy and Johnny Depp dance around on top of a huge sail in the middle of a hurricane-storm-swirly-water-thing with swords, all from a swinging 360 degree camera shot, and make it look real. Amazing reallly. Its not that I am not pleased with their efforts to make the action sequence look real, and it was pretty cool, its just that it looks so real now… that I don't really believe it.

It is almost like a perfect action universe or something. It just doesn't seem real. No camera crew in their right minds would venture into such a situation to capture that shot. But then again I guess you could say the same thing about Lord of the Rings. What camera man in his right mind would venture on to Mount Doom and capture all that evil action. (Maybe Dwight Schrute from the office but he doesn't count.)

The element that still makes the movie tick is its characters. Good characters and a good script make a good movie almost every time. It would take a truly horrendous director to screw that up. Shoot, good characters, a good story and a mediocre script can even make a great film. You can’t have all of one and none of the others though. Look at Star Wars "A New Hope." (Episode 4) Great characters in that flick and made with not a lot of cash. Han Solo, Obi wan, Leia, Chewie, Darth Vader and worst of all Luke. It is hard to loose with characters like that. Now look at episode 1. Lucas had all the cash in the world, still a pretty good story, but bad, very bad, throw-your-drink-at-the-screen-bad characters. Two words: Jar Jar.

Maybe overall it wasn't any of that. I think Pirates was just too darn confusing. Plus I couldn't understand half of what that Black Goddess Calypso was saying. "Him tear out him heart... thanz yuzz gerannz joozes wheech onza Jack Sparrow." I spent half the movie leaning over to Amber and saying "Huh?" like an old man or an annoying kid.

It did have some really fun scenes and a load of interesting characters which would still prompt me to reccomment blowing 20 bucks for a date, but I am still waiting for "the one" this summer.

I am hoping that Harry Potter, and a few others bring it home as far as summer movie fun goes. I need a good one. I might find my only entertainment/escape solace in the final Harry Potter book coming out in 41 days, 21 hours, 12 minutes and 35 seconds.

“Awah” cried the spoiled American.

Blogsitive.

Its a wierd thing this blogging world. It is a good thing to step back and recognize that truth sometimes. People who blog are inately artistic. Which means that they are also sensitive and a bit competitive. Thus the technorati craze. I mean, its okay to wonder how many people love and adore your writing and are waiting in the wings just to hear the wise words that proceedeth from your fingertips, but don't let it go to your head or rule and reign over you.

No matter how great you think you are, there is always someone that will outdo you. Period. To me, that is a big relief. Once I figured that out I could finally feel free to be me. It is a sad thing to see someone at the top of their game sink into the darkest of depressions. Pride is a funny thing. It is the worst of sins because it is nothing. What really sucks about when you come off the mountain is that you find out that the mountain wasn't real and you are left with nothing. That is why men who unexpectedly get fired from big-time corporate jobs stick a cold pistol to their heads and blow their brains out.

It wasn't the loss of the job. It was the total void that they had accumulated in their souls, the whole time thinking what they held, what made them feel important, was a real thing. Your soul runs on God. Period. Anything else will destroy the engine. It will eventually burn up and crack. Sometimes it takes loosing everything to realize that but for the lucky ones who recognize it now, you can enjoy whatever gifts you have been given, great or small, to their fullest.

So blog cause you love it. Sing cause you love it. Write songs cause you love it. Write books cause you love it. Do it all cause you're happy and you are free.

Sometimes I have to preach this sermon to myself to remember these things. Why do I blog? Well I could tell you some good reasons like: "I Blog cause you like to write and make people laugh, think, or even like to get them all riled up."

I really blog because it is fun and it makes me feel good when other people like it and think it is fun too.

For all that read and comment here. I am truly honored that you read these scratchings on my cyber-cave wall and hope to read as much of your writing as you can manage to scratch yourself.

New Frog

Scientists have just discovered a new nifty lookin' frog in the Amazon. I thought it looked pretty cool so I thought I'd post it. Kinda like blog show and tell. Except you can't lick this show and tell and play like you are on the Simpsons or imagine you are really rich like that one frog I brought home one time after licking it on a dare and mom made me let it go after I told her that she looked like a big purple candy apple with wings.

Anyways, I think we should name this here frog. The scientists will probably come up with some creative name like: "lapristociacipratipusviat amphibias." But I think we can do better. Even without licking it and seeing apparitions.

So give it a go. What should we name him?

Integrity

When I was 17 years old Dr. T.T. Crabtree, the retired 73 year-old pastor of First Baptist Springfield MO, bought me a little thin black book simply titled: "Integrity."

Now, I'd heard that word my whole life and sort of knew what it meant but had never really given it much thought. I just thought it meant "be honest" or something.

It wasn't a book that I was too happy to receive as I was mostly hoping for cash for graduation so I stashed it away in some box with all my other forgetables.

I spent the next 5 years of college barely making it for classes, missing engagements, telling people that I would do something and then back out. The worst part of it all was that I usually took advantage of the people that I cared about the most.

Subconsciously I guess I knew that they would still love me at the end of the day if I called my dad a few hours before I was supposed to help him with the wood pile and tell him I couldn't make it.

So the next 5 years were spent, building a name for myself that was synonymous with being late, and being a no-show. Undependable but talented. Likeable but frustrating. Intelligent but unfocused. Immature.

By the time I reached my last year of undergrad. I had a whopping 2.7 GPA and a bunch of bounced checks and over-charged credit cards.

Honestly, it was the hunt for cash that led me back to this little black book and then spurred me to open it at all.

"Hmmm" I thought. "You know? I never checked this book for cash. Maybe there is a check in there or something." (Not giving the first thought to how crappy it would be to cash a 5-year-old check, even if the bank would do it.)

The first sentence I read changed my life forever. It was this author's simple definition of Integrity.

"Integrity is simply doing what you say you will do when you say you will do it. It is essential to becoming the man that God wants you to be. You will never be that man until you grasp this concept."

Wham! A light flicked on in my mind. I realized that my reputation, my bad credit, my negative bank account, was due mostly in part to my lack of this Integrity. And Integrity comes by choice alone. The roots of being undependable had grown deep but it wasn't too late... hopefully.

I graduated that year, (After begging my geology teacher to give me a C--- for all my no-shows. Honestly I think he gave it to me becasue he couldn't take another year of me!) and slowly but surely I began to build trust. Honestly, some of those relationships will be forever tarnished. Some are still just moderately repaired to this day. But when I started my grad degrees, I decied to change. I decided to change the way I think and change the way people think about me. It is the definition of repentance. "To change the way you think."

I was amazed at the way it made me feel to be thought of as a man people could depend on. It was humbling and empowering.

Do what you say you will do. If you know you can't do it, then don't say you will. If you can't do it after you have committed, then you better have a good reason or your relationships might be damaged and will take mending. Even if it is for free.

Especially if it is for free.

Experiment

Which of these mythological worlds is your favorite or least favorite and why? OR If given the choice, which story would you chose to be a part of and why?

Harry Potter

Star Wars

Lord of the Rings

Food Store Snob

I am going to admit something.

I HATE Wal-Mart grocery stores with a burning passion. They are depressing. I know it is snobby but the store is usually filled with very LARGE and discontent customers and they are usually reaching for some kind of beverage that they have NO business eating and are usually eating it because it says that it has "Vitamin C" in it, even though it contains 4 pounds of sugar and its total weight is 4.5 pounds.

If you venture over to the fruit section you just might find 24 kids with no parent in sight rudely fingering over every apple or pair they can get their Jell-O-pop-crusted fingers on. That is, if they aren't sneezing over the grapes. Eventually the enormous and angry mother will saunter back by to pick up the little tyrants and promptly smack them over the head and make them replace the pair or apple they have licked and played catch or soccer with. The Irony being, the child should smack the mom, make her put the sugar pops back and fill the cart will all the fruit their little grimy hands can grope.

My biggest pet peeve is that I never find the Soy milk I am looking for. As a matter of fact... they are always in short supply of anything I need.

Are you a Food Store Snob? Or is this just I? Where do you go, or like

The Harmony Of Christian Thought and Science

Signs like this irritate every burning atom in my body. (Took a lot of self control to not type something else there.) When I see this sign, I have wild fantasies of blowing it up with a bazooka or renting out a sign right next to it that says. "Christians with the biggest mouths are usually not the ones with the biggest brains."

Here are two quotes about our state of existence. One is a scientific perspective, and one is the Christian perspective. Both are strikingly similar and when that grey matter between my ears consisting of a complex highway ushering over 100 billion neurons, each linked to as many as 10,000 other neurons, processes the following information, it spits out three words. "Pretty stinkin' cool."

Scientific view:

Welcome. And congratulations. I am delighted that you could make it. Getting here wasn't easy, I know. In fact, I suspect it was a little tougher than you realize.

To begin with, for you to be here now trillions of drifiting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricte and intriguingly obliging manner to creat you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tied before and will only exist this once. For the next many years (you hope) these tiny particles will uncomplainingly engage in all the billions of deft, cooperative efforts necessary to keep you intact and let you experience the supremely agreeable but generally underappreciated state known as existence.

Why atoms take this stroube is a bit of a puzzle. Being you is not a gratifying experience at the atomic level. For all their devoted attention, your atoms don't actually care about you-indeed, don't even know that you are there. They are mindless particles, after all, and not even themseles alive. (It is a slightly arresting notion that if you were to pick yourself apart with tweezers, one atom at a time, you would produce a mound of fine atomic dust, none of which had ever been alive but all of which had onece been you. Yet somehow for the period of your existence they will answer to a singler overarching impulse: ot keep you you. - Billy Bryson *A Short History of Nearly Everything.*

Christian view:

"We are made of nothing into something; and since what we are made "of" does not account for us, [see Bryson's pile of atoms taken apart by tweezers.] we are forced to a more intense concetration upon the God we are made "by."

What follows is very simple but revolutionary. If a carpenter makes a chair, he can leave it and the charir will not cease to be. For the material he used in its making has a quality called rigidity, by virtue of which it will retain its nature as a chair. If the carpenter leaves the chair for a cup of coffee, the chair can still rely for continuance in existence upon the matereial he used, the wood.

Similiarly if the Maker of the Universe left it, the Universe too would have to rely for continuance in existence upon the material He used - nothing. In short, the truth that God used NO material in our making carries with it the realized truth tht God continues to hold us in being, and that unless He did so would should simply cease to be.

Material beings- the human body, for instance- are made up of atoms, and these again of electorns and protons, and these again of who knows what; but whatever may be the ultimate constituents of matter, God made them of nothing, so that they and the beings so imposingly built up of them exist only because He keeps them in existence. We are held above the surface of our native nothingness soley by God's continuing Will to hold us so. "In Him, we live and move and have our being." (Acts 17:28) -Frank Sheed *Theology and Sanity*

Embarrassing Things You Might Miss By Not Subscribing

I am the biggest post-then-yank-the-post-because-what-I-posted-was-embarrassing blogger in the history of the bloggosphere. I am a stream of conscious writer and half the time I think that people think just as weirdly as I do. Some of you... well, you've got me out-weirded like Pee Wee Herman to the Beaver. But most of the time, I am usually glad that I yanked the post because of either the weirdoramma factor, the anger, or because of the pure, raw stupidity. But as I found out later to my horror, if you subscribe to the RSS feed, you get them no matter what. Here is an example of one that went into the "draft" world:

(Posted a long time ago in a blog far, far away...)

While we are discussing theological mysteries, let me bounce this one of ya'

First... (tapping fingers and slanting my eyes, debating whether or not to type the next paragraph) in the bloggin' world I think we are allowed at least one theologically crude and dumb rhetorical question per year. So here goes.

Will we go poo in heaven? I mean, have you ever thought about it? It's kinda how God designed us right? Or is going number 2 a product of the fall? You may think this to be the stupidest question that a thinking man could ask but I make a habit of surveying various Atheist blogs and these are the kinds of questions that Atheists are asking to stump the Christians! And stump them they do. (now you know you have wondered this too, no matter how trite and banal or even truistic the question might seem. Geeze.)

Just a simple question. So if you think you have a good answer, I would truly like to hear it. I do not think it a ...waste of time. (bud-dum-splash!!)

I do know one thing, if we are going to be "dropping the kids off at the pool" in heaven then I bet the bathrooms will be pretty darn clean. I mean, you don't have to worry about stopping at a gas station and finding a rat swimming in the toilet (like my sister did in East Texas one time) or some sort of fungus speaking French to you from the toilet lid (obviously there will be no gas stations in heaven because gasoline pumps are of the Devil, and Fungi rarely speak French but for the sake of the flow here...) because the gas station bathrooms in Heaven are going to be el-speck-and-spanno. Spotless. Maybe if there are tiers in heaven then you can bet that will be my job. Heaven-gas-station-bathroom-cleaner. As a matter of fact I'll probably get heaven-latrine-duty just for posting this on-the-edge-of-sacrilege-blog alone.

What can I say? I get weirder by the minute when my wife is away. Another plight and flaw in man.

Seth Ponders His Sign and Wonders...

I have a sneaking suspicion that more Christians read horsoscopes than any other religious group. Probably because our favorite apostle is darn near a mystic, and the bible is full of signs, wonders, and prophecies, some including the stars; On BIG star-event in particular. Give you a hint: Magi (astrologers), Star, Prophecy, Virgin…

I am going to confess something. This might make some of you *cough*JOHN*cough* think that I am going straight to hell but… I wonder sometimes: Could there be “something” to them? NOW BEFORE YOU GET YOUR BIBLE CLUB OUT. Hear me out.

If there is, I really don't think it has to do with the gravity of mars makes you masculine or some other hocus pocus crap. And I would NEVER say that God governs our actions through the most ancient and culturally pervasive of mystical ideology: Astrology. And I certainly don't think that ANYONE should put any faith AT ALL in your daily "horoscopes" which are completely stupid and fatalistic.

I am really not talking about that stuff. I just think there is a general cycle to God's creation and throughout time man has done his best to describe that cycle. (Your eyes are rolling. I can feel them) and this is what I am thinking, or really, “wondering for fun”: Like it or not, people born at a certain time of year, seem to display certain tendencies over others. In my opinion, Astrologers used this cyclical behavior and fit it into their magical star predictions. Just like the Greeks thought the sun God rode a fiery chariot across the sky everyday. Or the same reason that in the Ancient Jewish Prayers to the planets, special angels and demons are assigned to the different planets; the greatest and most powerful planet Saturn having only one angel, Ktetoel, and one demon, Beelzebub. These planetary demons regulated the destiny of men. Each planet was an angel or demon.

I think all that stuff mentioned is what man does unless God intervenes and says otherwise. It is how he supernaturally explains the world for which the natural phenomena lives. And Christian theology is the ONLY religion that works in harmony with science. (A thinking Christian views science as a way to see HOW God did it.) So that is what I am wondering, vicariously, with no real “I give a rip” one way or another:

The possibility, that there is in fact, a kind of rhythm to humanity. Just as there is to all of creation. And in that rhythm, (I AM ALMOST CRACKING UP AS I WRITE THIS) it is possible that people, born in certain periods of time, share certain personality traits or tendencies?

It is really about observation without ANY explanation, spiritual or scientific. There are some downright CREEPY similarities in Taurus women and my wife. Creepy. Same for my sign Scorpio. How is this possible? Who the heck knows? I am just saying that the similarities seem to be there. We all recognize them at some level. Again, it could NEVER be proven and I am in NO way condoning astrology or any kind of dependence upon that hogwash. I am simply saying that there MAY BE similarities. And, honestly, I don't see a big problem if that little bit of mysterious programming went into how God set the comedy.

But then again, I have been told that I have quite the imagination so, this all could be total crap as well. The funniest part about this whole blog here is that it perfectly fits the description of how a Scorpio might view it, not to mention brave enough to make a complete and total fool of himself. (Then arrogant enough to brag about his bravery.) And I bet you could go check the qualities of your "sign" and you just might find your reaction to this blog fits the description of yours as well. I have no proof, biblically, theologically, or scientifically- other than there does seem to be a similarity and if it makes sense it would make sense scientifically considering the apparent design of all things. I’m the kind of fella who loves mystery. I love things that aren’t exactly what they seem. Like my wife. Why does she laugh at my jokes? Or like God. “A never ending Art Gallery without beginning or end.” as Chesterton puts it.

Doesn't really matter to me one way or another, just sort of fun to ponder. What pondereth you?

The Hilton Slammer for Paris

"Paris Hilton will serve about half of her 45-day jail sentence and will be separated from the general inmate population, authorities said Wednesday.

The hotel heiress will spend about 23 days in a "special needs housing unit" at the Century Regional Detention Center in suburban Lynwood, Los Angeles County sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore said.

Her sentence was shortened after jail officials gave her credit for good behavior, Whitmore said. Officials considered several factors in calculating the credit, including that she appeared for her latest court date, he said. (????!!!)

Hilton will stay in a unit that contains 12 two-person cells reserved for police officers, public officials, celebrities and other high-profile inmates, he said.
Like everyone else in the 2,200-inmate facility, Hilton will get at least an hour outside her cell each day to shower, watch television, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone, he said.

The 26-year-old socialite was sentenced to jail this month for violating the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. A judge ordered her to report to jail by June 5." - Yahoo News


I am a little irritated by this. I know, I know, Jail sucks. I don't wish that anyone should break the law and go there. But shouldn't jail suck equally for all who go?

Had a good friend a few years back, who will go unnamed, (his picture shows up on this blog from time to time...) who got pulled over and put in the slammer for an unpaid ticket. (200 dollar ticket) Now this friend of mine was mighty low on cash at the time, as most college kids are, and was VERY close to payday. A series of unfortunate events followed including several FAILED attempts at reaching anyone to bail him out. This landed him in a room full of VERY dangerous men. (5O or so in a room that should only hold about 15)

Some of these men were exchanging sexual acts on each other and on themselves out in the open. Needless to say, my friend, the only white preppy male in the bunch, was getting a tad frightened. Salvation came at the LAST moment after they had become more brave in their advances, noticing that no one was coming to his rescue. Right as the fight broke out the Officer approached the Cell and called his name.

Now, if no one would have called, he could have been raped and beaten like there was no tomorrow. In fact, it was about to happen.

No 2-room paradise slammer suite for my friend who was going 60 in a 45. No "special treatment." Nope, thrown to the lions like a fresh cut of lamb. Paris get summer camp for repeated DWI's and my buddy got the Rape Chamber for going 15 over at 2 a.m.

Something NOT FAIR about all this.

Meet My Student John Cates

"Cover anything with frosting and someone out there will eat it." How right you are John. How right you are.

This is the motto of my piano student John Cates's blog "Cupcake"

John is one of the most talented students I have ever had. (Yes, I've had quite a few students, and some pretty frickin' amazing.) He is all of 16 and he has recorded 3 full length CDs. And I mean FULL length. The music is sort of electro-pop but don't let that discourage you into thinking it is "push the casio button and let it happen" music. It is well thought out, lyrical at times, melodic and compositionally very creative. Think "Danny Elfman meets Beck and arm wrestles to the Rennaisance Music in their head." However John modestly likens it to "A troupe of monstrously malformed carrion birds pecking at the keyboard of a Mac G4."

In fact, he is sickeningly creative but totally amiable, albeit, eccentric. Plus he's just plain fun to teach. We had a good time tonight before the lesson thinking of bad inventions for the hospital emergency room. Like the "Senile Defibrillator." (This is assuming that all electronic devices in the future can talk.)

Doctor: "CLEAR!!!"

Senile Defibrillator: (Speaking in an old man's voice) "There was this one time I had caramel apples..."

Doctor: "I SAID CLEAR!!! THE PATIENT IS IN CARDIAC ARREST"

Senile Defibrillator: (Fussy) "My pianola player is broken... Grandma???"

Goofy fun stuff like that. Drop by his "blog" and "Myspace page Candy Cantata"if you want a view into John's world.

He is also kickn' serious butt on his Beethoven Sonata Pathétique.

Wise Words From Joey

"Want the eaaaasy life? Go cash your Student loan check, move to Costa Rica and live like a TSAR."
(cue GONG)

Things I Don't Get

Things perplex me that don't normally perplex other people. I think I am like the dog that can't understand why he can't walk through the glass door, or the cat that wants to fight its reflection. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

This is what I don't get about Ugly Betty:

In real life, she is pretty. They dressed her up to be ugly. Why not find a "not so pretty girl" and give her a job? I had the same problem with Lord of The Rings. Why not hire Vertically challenged folks to play Hobbits instead of going to GREAT pains in all the depth of field stuff? I bet the whole Dwarf world was sooooo ticked when they found out the role of their dreams had been stolen by the wonders of CGI and that pretty boy Elijah Wood. I guess the days of WIllow and Wizard of Oz are long gone.

Back to the Ugly Betty Conundrum...

The question I guess the producers had to ask themselves was: "Do we hire an Ugly chick and call her ugly, or do we hire a Cute girl and dress her up ugly so that when we say she is ugly we don't really feel bad because we know she isn't really ugly?" (Even though the underlying principle of the show is that Betty is really beautiful on the inside which is what really matters even though we had to make a cute girl ugly to not feel bad for calling her ugly.)

I say they should have just hired an average looking actress, Lord knows NYC is chalked full of them, made her millennium, and she would have cried about the title of the show all the way home to her new penthouse to change for her appearance on Oprah or Leno.

Of course the money would have got to her in the end. She would have ended up getting a nose, boob, and belly job so that the Ugly comment wouldn't hurt.

I guess the producers knew what they were doing all along.

Huh??? Ouch! (As my nose hits the glass door.)

Where or When

Feeling nostalgic tonight. Thinking back to all the friends that I made in college, loss touch and now miss. College was really an amazing time. I loved it. It will be hard to put all that behind me but it is time. I have had the privilege of working quite a bit while finishing up. But it has been a HUGE part of my life. The atmosphere of it. The commonality and sense of wonder and expectation that goes along with that environment is something to be savored and then missed.

I look forward to the days ahead but also I took a few minutes to stare back into time tonight and remember friends, places, sounds, smells, and laughs. Good stuff. Great people and some not-so-great people and experiences. But all of them have helped to make me who I am today.

I only regret not keeping in touch with great friends that I have made. Some have gone through a lot and I have heard about it through other people. A few of those friends even passed on. I regret losing touch with those the most.

I was reading my buddy Cachinator's blog about Love and it sent me into this nostalgic mood. He wrote:

"Do you ever marvel at love?

I'm not talking about gushy romantic junk. I mean the kind that Paul says leaves faith and hope behind. The kind that lays down life for another. The kind that feeds the hungry. The kind that rushes to the aid of those in need. The kind that befriends the lonely. The kind that refuses to judge. The kind that is devastated by injustice. The kind that puts others above self.

That kind of love.

Too rare. If you find it - even for a moment - savor it." -Good words brother.

True friends are rare and should be cherished. Don't let a good friendship fade into a memory. They are a rare gift.

To any long lost friend that happens to be tuning in, drop me a line if you wanna catch up.

sethward@mac.com

Happy Mother's Day!!!

So I flat out stole this picture from Mz Jackson's (my sis's) site but I couldn't help it. My mom is so BEAUTIFUL!!!! This is picture of her on her wedding day.

Happy mother's day! ...

Kids That ROCK

Paris, Paris, Paris...

If you've been living in a hole, Paris Hilton was arrested and sentence to 45 days in the slammer for repeated DWI's. Paris blamed and fired her publicist for telling her it was okay. The judge didn't buy it.

So anyhoo, when the judge refused to let Elliot take the fall, the harebrained heiress changed her strategy...and asked her fans to sign a petition urging California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon her because she provides "beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives" Here is the plea to the Govenator:

“the American public who support Paris are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that drunk driving is wrong.
“She provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.
“If the late former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well.”

So let me get this straight... No really, let me get this striaght... (pausing to laugh my butt off.)

Paris wants her fans, to mail the Govenator a letter to get her pardoned because she is prettier than everyone else and that if she wasn't in their lives their existence would be totally worthless?????? That last part about Ford KILLS ME. This is the funniest thing I have heard since... my birth. I just wonder how many rough drafts that letter went through.

FIRST DRAFT: "Dear pathetic fans who wish they were me... I do not deserve this. Many of you do. I am like, totally too pretty for this and maybe someone fat could take my place. If there is a fat fan out there who wants to do this for me, I would really appreciate it. I promise not to call you fat in public and I promise to see if you are okay on the news... You are welcome for being able to watch me on T.V. and wish that you were me."

I honestly didn't think that what she portrayed on television was the real thing. Apparently, what you see is what you get.

Good luck with those letters Paris. However, "I think One Night In The Slammer" might be just what the doctor ordered.

Superhero For A Day

If you could be a superhero for a day, who would you be and why? (And Lord of the Rings Characters count as well. That's right, it's my blog. I can count Gandalf as a superhero)

I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours. Something about that sounded wierd...

Anyways. You. Superhero. For-a-day.

GO.

In My World Lately...

1. I recently got in a discussion with a man about Catholicism. (Thank you Stephen!) I was accused of having a Dark Sarcasm (OOOOOooooo) and of not knowing the truth because I believe that Catholics are my brothers and sisters in Christ. I really wanted to get nasty but that would be non-Christan of me. I am sure he is a nice guy. (John if you are tuning in, go read John 3:16 for a refresher on who "should not perish and have eternal life." Then go have your mommy tuck you in and read you a betime story so you won't be scared of the big bad Catholics.) Okay, I'll drop it. (Just kiddn' John, seriously! Don't forget, John 3:16. Report on my desk tomorrow!)

2. I spent 6 hours in one day trying to get my M powered interface to work with Logic. (That’s a big “qwa qwa, qwa qwa qwa qwa” to you non music software people.) For some reason I can never remember the name "Logic" when describing the software I use. Not really a name fit for music software in my opinion. Illogical music is much more interesting. Even Bach’s music has illogical, unpredictable things about it. It wasn't till Mozart decided to infuse rampant asymmetry in his later works that he became immortally beloved. In fact, I can't name a late work of Mozart without some strangeness in proportion.

Plain and simple, pure logic is boring. It is needed, it has its purpose but it is kinda like the Navy. They are pretty much there to give the Marines a ride. JUST KIDDING!!!!

3. I installed a symphonic sample library that will soon run every working symphonic musician out of business. It is called the Vienna Symphonic Library. VERY expensive but VERY worth it. I give you a preview soon.

4. I finally started working out again today. Finally. I bout’ croaked on the cross-trainer but I am back in the saddle.

5. I have started drinking Earl Grey tea instead of Coffee. I am now a huge Earl Grey-with-cream-brown-sugar-and-honey fan for life.

Little Known Historical Facts

Napoleon crowned himself Emperor on 2 December 1804 at Notre Dame de Paris. Claims that he seized the crown out of the hands of Pope Pius VII during the ceremony in order to avoid subjecting himself to the authority of the pontiff are apocryphal; in fact, the coronation procedure had been agreed upon in advance.

At the ceremony, a little-known English Duke, Lovington Handles, trying to break into the "in" crowd at the ceremony, met his death by firing squad for a practical Joke he played on Napoleon, thinking it would win buddy-buddy points. Fancying himself a Jester, the young Duke Lovington went home a wrote Napoleon the following letter:

"Dear Emperor Nappy Bona,

A letter arrived this morning via pigeon from the queen of England and she said she wants her wardrobe back SHORTSTACK. leHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

It has also been rumored that Steve Perry from Journey is a descendant of Napoleon though it has never been substantiated.

We Won

That's right. We kicked some major Williams-Trace-Baptist-Church-golf-tournament booty. Well, my friends Jack, Gerald and Michael kicked booty. I sorta kicked upper thigh. Maybe the shin a couple of times. BUT, I didn't suck. My 14 year old friend Jack came 3 feet from the longest drive of the day. His stepdad Gerald (who is practically a pro and was the primary contributor to our 1st place position) calls young Jack "Lerch." And rightly so.

Fun times. I love golf but I realized today that I'll never be a pro at it. "Duh" you say. But that is kind of a big deal for a man. You see, you grow up your whole life thinking, "If I wanted to, I could devote the time and be the next Michael Jordan, or TIger Woods." However untrue that fantasy might have been at 19 or 20, I still could have made a good go at it. At 32, I know I ain't gonna happen. That's OKAY though.

Plaid just washes me out and that sun is murder on my complexion. And 6 a. m.? (yaaaawniiing)

So a Golf.... pro.... I will never... ....ZZZZzzzzzz.

6 a.m., Saturday

It is 6 a. m. on Saturday. I am up to play golf in a Church tournament. To be fair, I think I'll call all the old men that wear plaid shorts this week at 2 a. m. and make them get up and practice piano. Rise and shine! Slap your plaids on fellas! Time to tickle those ivories!!!

Who the hell gets up at 6 a. m. on Saturday to play golf? Besides those that are 2 steps away from the big golf course in the sky???? I guess that would be me today.

It wouldn't be so bad if I could have got to sleep last night. I think I finally dozed off at 4:20.

Learn it Again Sam.

Spoiled. That’s me. I can do whatever I want. The more I have to do, the more options, the more depressed I get. I think it is the leading cause of depression for men in our country. We are spoiled. We always think... "If I could just reach that little bit further, THEN my life will have meaning... purpose." That's why Warren's book did so well right? (Not knockin' Rick, just saying.) Or we think: "Poor little me. I can't figure out what I want. GOD??? Where are you??? What is your will????? Do I take that corporate job or go to the mission field??? If only my stocks would do better then I would have the freedom to REALLY follow you..."

The guys that seem to be the happiest are the ones that have had the least options. Like my Grandpa. Never met a man more content. When he was 16 his father died and brother went to war. He became the bread-winner for his mom and 4 sisters. 2 years later he added a wife and kid to that. No options. Work, or starve. He died with hundreds of people mourning and celebrating his peaceful, joyful life.

There is a lesson I have to re-learn EVERY. SINGLE. DAY: God, is what I really want.

Sounds cheezy. Maybe it is a bit. It is certainly not sexy. It doesn't come in some cool package plus shipping and handling. It doesn't promise you "The Secret" that you've been hearing about. It surpasses every kind of wisdom, trick, drug, show, song, woman, book, Oprah, food, drink, and song. He is the only thing that my soul will recognize as true nourishment. Sorry, no way around it.

Lately, I have steered away from "talking about" intimacy with God. Mainly, because I noticed that hearing other peoples thoughts about how much they Looooove the Lord just were turning my stomach and making me mad. It shouldn't but it does. It’s my problem. I know it.

Dear Sethro,

Remember this: Your life, your pilgrimage, isn't going to look like ANYONE ELSES. So lighten up. It's a little scarier that way, but there is where your faith comes alive. There is where you become salt. It's also WAY more fun that way. Christians tend to clone each other. We walk around saying the same little "catch phrases." Some of that is natural. Sure, you pick things up. But some... Most of our imitations come from a fear of being unique. Jesus speaks to us all in a unique way. Sometimes we get like Peter and get pissed off that Jesus is talking to John about the mysteries of Heaven while he is asking me if I love Him.

So lessons re-learned today: 1. I need God. I can't have peace or fulfillment without Him. That's the dealio folks. 2. The way that I go about that is going to look different than EVERYONE else. God appeared to Moses in a bush, He appeared to Elijah in a still small voice, and he appeared to the disciples as a Man. Each man of God walked, talked, and dressed totally different.

Something about all that makes me breath a little easier.

There is this amazing quote that I love by C.S. Lewis in The Great Divorce that sums up all of these jumbled, tired evening thoughts.

"Every poet and musician and artist, but for Grace, is drawn away from love of the thing he tells, to love of the telling till, down in Deep Hell, they cannot be interested in God at all but only in what they say about Him."

Ho Hum

I am feelin' a little down today folks. I don't know exactly why but... I just am. It is not just me either. Everyone I meet seems to be down in the dumps as well. All I really want to do is go home and watch Harry Potter for about 6 hours straight. For some reason it seems to do the trick.

Honestly, I can't wait till the next Potter installment hits the bookstores. Any Harry Potter fans out there? Any speculations on the plot? I am hoping Dumbledore isn't really dead. When I finished the last book I was depressed for days. It wasn't that Dumbledore died, it was HOW he died. It seriously ticked me off. I mean really, ticked me off. Not like, "awwwwe darn." More like, I am going to write Rowling a letter and explain that you don't kill a character like Dumbledore off like that. You just don't. It would be like Obi Wan getting killed by Jar Jar Binks.

"Dear Rowling, that ending sucked. You are a cruel, cruel woman." -that was my letter.

So there it is. My honest state of being. In the dumps. Surprised? You don't get many whiny blogs. They are usually all about how sunny everything is and how life is just rosy. Well, that isn't reality in my book. I am mostly a happy fellow, but tonight I've got the blues. So, after Church choir, I'm off to my Harry Potter therapy. What does the trick for you?

A Few Very Important Things to Remember While Talking To An Atheist

1. Most die-hard Atheists are smart (although we believe they are unwise) and know why they are an Atheist, just like you hopefully know why you are a Christian.

2. Christians do not believe that ancient gods of other religions are total figments of the imagination. Rather we believe that it was man reaching for a God that did and does exist and doing their best to understand him and how he governs his creation. So when an Ancient Greek prayed to Zeus, he was praying to a version of God that was partly his invention, and partly a remaining knowledge of the Living God. For after the fall, God did not leave man entirely. No, man still could sense God's presence but could not truly know God without God Himself making Himself fully known, as he did with the Jews and then fully in Christ.

3. God is not a God of the Gaps. He is the God of everything, including the Gaps. We believe he is active in some way, without destroying the innate free will, in every created thing, for He holds together all things by his thought. This may not convince, but it will keep you from trying to find the thing that cannot be explained by science. At the core of EVERYTHING created there is a mystery. Period.

4. Believing in God is not the same thing as believing in a pink burping spaghetti monster. Just like believing that my mother loves me is not the same thing as believing that my phone loves me. It is common for Atheists to build arguments built on “Straw Men.” They can no more prove scientifically that God does not exist than we can prove scientifically that He does exist. I can prove that the pink burping spaghetti monster does not exist. I made him up. I defy any atheist to locate the man that made up God.

5. They will rarely be convinced by preaching or your words but by your love. YOU, YOURSELF will NEVER convert them. Only God can draw a man to Himself.

Teaching

I love to teach. I think teaching is one of the greatest things an artist can do to provide a healthy equilibrium to his or her mental state. You are forced to stop thinking about yourself and you plunge your energies into a bright young hopeful. It is powerful and beautiful. The Lord was the greatest teacher and every teacher could model their methods by studying Him and his interactions closely.

I tell all my students that I want to build artists, not just "pianists" or "guitarists." If they have some poetry to bring in, bring it. If they have a composition, bring it. If they have photography, bring it. Sometimes I will combine the art forms. I once had a student who loved to write stories. She also loved to compose. We spent one month writing a piece of music that described the story. It was so much fun I couldn't wait for the lessons myself.

Honestly, if I didn't teach this way, I would get bored.

Teaching is also much more than learning a craft. It is loving. A young artist grows more from just being around a teacher who loves God and his creation and offers them a new perspective while inspiring them to see their own.

I can only wonder what it must have been like to sit in on one of C.S. Lewis's seminars on medieval literature.

True teaching is darn near a lost art. Great individual artists have always had someone who took the time to build their character along with their abilities. Do you have anyone who fits that description? I have a few. My dad being one.

Love to hear yours.

A Serious Sunday Question:

What does it mean to "Serve the Lord?"

Happy Birthday Fancy

20 somethin' years ago the angels got together, and decided to create a dream come truuuuuuuuue.

Sorry, I get overwhelmingly cheezy when I talk about my wife. Sometimes people just don't get it. I mean, Theeeey asked me how I knew my true love was true? Oh, I of course replied something here inside cannot be denied...

Then they ask: But what was it like? I mean... What was it about her?

"Well, there is something in the way she moves... attracts me like no other love. Just something in the way she moves me.

"Really?" They asked. Tell me more!

"Well, I mean, she's got a smile that heals me. I don't know what it is but I have to laugh when she reveals me and she's got a way of talking, I don't know why it is but it lifts me up when we are walkin' anywhere."


Alright alright everybody. I won't sicken you anymore with this mushy stuff. But... you know that it would be untrue... you know that I would be a liar, if I were to say to you... that girl we wouldn't get much hire...

Come on baby,

Light my fire.

Happy birthday to my incredible wife.

Sir Joseph

My buddy Joey has a new website up and running. He learned how to do all that stuff from scratch without a single class in web design. Flash and all. I think it looks pretty cool and the fact that he can do all that programming crap is impressive to me. Of course, this is coming from the man that DELETED HIS ENTIRE BLOG with the click of a button, but still...

Go check it out.

The Return of The Stand

Wheeew. That was a close one. Thank you blogger. I have decided to stay your humble user.

In other news: I have spent a grand total of 4 separate days including 5 hours yesterday getting my mouse replaced at Fry's. I bought my Power Mac G5 dual-core beast at an incredibly discounted price 1 year ago, almost to the day. However, it was a display item and the mouse was quite cruddy when I got it and the scroller on it was already on its last limping cog.

The Fry's visits began. Every time I went to Fry's to utilize my 3-year warranty I was greeted with a different run-around answer. The first time was the worst. The technician hooked the mouse up to a Mac and the darn thing decided to work! I could almost hear it snickering over there, flipping me off as the screen scrolled perfectly on the monitor over the counter.

Other times I was told to come back when the manager was in. Somehow every time they told me to come back the manager was "out." Two days ago I finally demanded a manager and got him. He told me that to replace my mouse I would need to bring in my ENTIRE computer. I told him that was totally ridiculous and that I would do no such thing. We argued like this for a good 10 minutes until my eye started to twitch. Finally, HIS manager approached us and told me that I didn't have to bring the whole computer in if I took a picture of the serial number, burn it to a disk along with a hand written copy. I almost asked if they wanted a water colored portrait of it as well but decided to not press my luck. I said "fine" and asked them if they would be "out" when I returned. They said no.

I thought that taking the picture would be a cinch but once again, I was wrong. I tried for over an hour, on my belly like a serpent, sneezing like a maniac to get a good picture of the blasted serial number. Amber finally saved the day as she often does. After she laughed at me of course. Here are a few of my attempts.

Introducing: The Organ Chronicles of Herbert Sebastian Crotch.

There is someone I would like for you all to meet. He is a dear friend and in a kind of situation that I feel needed to be chronicled. After MUCH prodding he has conceded to blog about his predicament. Please give my friend Herb a warm welcome... Here is an excerpt of his first post.

Hello fellow music lover and keepers of truth and sanity. My name is Herbert Sebastian Crotch. I have decided, after much sweating in the garden, (my bathroom) and for the sake of my growing ulcer, to chronicle the demise of the music program at our Church. I have been...(pronounced b-ea-n as in "wean the infant from your teat") the church organist for going on 15 years. Recently our Music "Pastor" (oh how I wish he had the gentle hand of a shepherd in such a time) has succumbed to the worldly pleasure of the tragic pounding of the crude and primal kick drum, the wretched and shameful screeching of the electronic guitar and the asinine jumbo projector-screen as if we have all gone blind and our arms too limp and wimpy to hold the hymnal. To hold the hymnal now might as well be considered to be synonymous with elderly-erectile dysfunction and/or pure "spiritual" depravity. The Holy "Spirit" can now only be communicated via Jumbo Letters. I digress.

Alas our "Music" "Minister," out of sheer pity and fear of the rich-and-elderly, (and not to mention a healthy fear of my own wrath, no doubt due in part to my impressive and robust size) has decided to keep me at my noble and righteous post as organist, (Oh endangered muse of beauty!,) for the time being. I have decided to chronicle the deterioration of art in our church for the noble purpose of saving further generations from such a fate as mine. You will be glad to know that I will be going down with my burning ship, my beloved organ, and will hopefully be remembered as the patron saints of large organs and their virtuosi. I hesitate to fantasize, for fear of an assault by pride, of the various saintly statues that could be erected in my honor someday. Only the finest of marble and sculpture should be dedicated to such a task. There I go! Down you shameful pride! Leave sweet David his place of honor!

So "Here I Stand" my fellow "Anthemites" as you shall be henceforth called. I will be posting regularly, Mondays and Wednesday evenings describing the musical debauchery that is taking place at my own Sanctuary.

Read the rest at his blog.

Little Known Historical Facts

Sultan of sultan, conqueror on three continents, Suleyman I shook the world of the 16th century as he raised the Ottoman Empire to the height of its glory. Known to Europeans as the Magnificent and to his subjects as the Lawgiver, he was both brilliant strategist and equitable administrator.

He had only one thorn in his side, one flaw. For years he was stricken with chronic weeping. It made his enemies laugh, as he demanded their surrender. "OOOOHHH look at the little crybaby Sultan. Go cry to your mommy SuleyGIRL. hahahah" This of course was a poor choice of words for the enemy and Suleyman was ruthless in his revenge.

After he had conquered the three continents, it was then discovered that the large Onion on his head was the primary cause for his unwanted tears. The following change in accoutrement also improved his standing with the desert ladies. Suleyman could finally live up to his "Magnificent" reputation in EVERY way.

His former tailor was beheaded. Twice.

Sisters on Fire

I have some seriously talented sisters. My older Sister "Mz Jackson" is a kick-butt writer. She has been published several times over and is on her way to a major publishing deal with her latest book "Campfire Secrets," a book she wrote with her friend and fellow writer, Rebecca. A year ago, they adapted that book to script, and it was read and considered by Warner Brothers for a major motion picture. I am even told that Drew Barrymore was interested in the role and read through the script and LOVED it. Alas, as things go in entertainment, they ran into a few hitches with their agent went bazonkers and had to ditch. They are now under new representation in Kansas City and are growing ever nearer to a major book deal. Because of her pure talent and determination my big sis has moved beyond many a publisher's desk and has made it through every consideration EXCEPT the publishing deal. In the mean time she has won awards and been published in magazines, journals, and newspapers. She has been a working, paid writer for many years now and is VERY close to a big break. I can feeeeeel it. She has been an inspiration to all of her siblings because somehow, while joyfully following her dreams, she is raising three fantastic kids and has a wonderful marriage. In short, I think she kicks ass.

My Little sister Operamama, just landed the role of Madame Butterfly in an opera house in Springfield, Missouri. It is her first "professional" operatic gig as a leading lady and I am uber-pumped about it. She can blow the doors off the house when she turns it loose. Before she graduated from Baylor University with a Masters in Vocal Performance, she won 1st place in the Texas Graduate Women NATS Competition. She sang in competition with 40 other terrific opera women from across Texas, including singers from Rice, University of Texas, Southern Methodist, Baylor, and UNT and cleaned house. Shortly after she had a couple of kids and put her career on hold to raise the babies full time in their toddler years. She is now back in the Saddle with a new perspective on Career and family and is sounding better than ever. I played for her at her house the other day and I couldn't even hear the piano at one point. And like my Big Sister, Operamama also strikes forcibly with her foot the two round fleshy parts that form the lower rear area of the human trunk.

I am extremely proud of these two incredible women, and I am really trying to make up for some bad Karma here for all the torture I administered to them growing up.

Last Day Of Teaching

I drove to class yesterday realizing it would be the last day I would be teaching at Rice University. As I drove down Shepherd Street, shrouded by the canopy of 100-year-old oak trees, I was overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude. It has been a great blessing to teach here this long. Most DMA students get 2 years of teaching at most, but my students gave me such stellar reviews each year that the faculty and the dean opted to have me teach for 4 years straight! That sounds like bragging but it is really just all-out thankfulness. We are talking about a guy who HATED music theory with all his heart his freshman year of college. I gave my theory teachers pure hell.

In the past 4 years I have taught theory to most of the undergraduates at that great music school. It has been extremely rewarding and a total blast. As that chapter of my life closes and new ones open, I am excited to see what God is putting in place. I am going to miss teaching at Rice but I am seriously pumped about the next thing on the roster. I'll keep you posted as things develop.

To my students reading, thanks for a great year and I'll see you around.

Eavesdropping

I overheard this conversation between a well-known CCM artist and up-and-coming "secular" rock band drummer. The two guys knew each other. The conversation made me ill.

CCM artist: "Yeah, you guys are like really out there. I mean you are playing for audiences that like, you know are hard to sell."

Drummer: "Yeah..." takes a swig on his beer and looks bored.

CCM Artist: "I mean, it’s not like us where it doesn't matter what we play because the audience is in 'our little subculture.' Our little group of people. But you guys... you guys are playing for the REAL thing..."

Me: Vomit.

A small suggestion to anyone: If you hate what you do, or you resent it in anyway, stop doing it. God is better than that. You are either hanging on to something or you need a SERIOUS ego adjustment. Especially if what you do is supposed to represent a "Christian" medium. Just do something else. You'll be much happier and more people will be blessed by your new and happier job. Even if it is flipping burgers. Just move on. I'm sure your CCM dumb fans will find someone else to mindlessly enjoy. I have to say, at that moment, I was glad that I had never wasted a nickel buying one of their CDs. I'm telling you, it was sad, sad, sad.

After a minute of listening, uninvited to this kind of nonsense, I said a prayer for my own prideful and judgmental heart, and said a prayer for this talented but bitter, burnt-out artist.

Sorry folks. Just had to get that one off my chest. I might wake up and delete this post, but for now... it stays.

Chick-Fil-A is the Devil

Behold. The greatest foe to my six-pack. (or two-liter)

Ready you are not for the burden. Finish with your training you must...

Things on My Church Walls. (pt. 1)

Folks, it doesn't take a lot to perplex me. I am easily entertained. When you grow up a poor sonofa preacher, you learn to use the crude, raw materials around you and transform them into complex and fascinating toys. A paperclip, the ones that are actually like clamps for example, can become a perfectly good enemy space ship that destroys the good guys by clamping onto the giant mother ship that just happens to be shaped like your dad's power drill.

As far as HAVING money goes, I think in my early childhood, up to age 9, I had about 1 dollar, at one time. So when I see something like this, pinned up onto the wall of the 4th grade Sunday School room, I am in awe. Hear ye, hear ye. LET ALL QUESTIONS ABOUT THE MARRAIGE OF CAPITALSIM AND CHRISTIANITY IN THE AMERICAN CHURCH BE FOREVER ANSWERED NOW.

Let us examine...

For just showing up, you get a dollar. If you remember your bible, another dollar. Already, by getting their lazy arses up and remembering their Gideon, these kids have doubled my net worth at 9 years of age.

Bible Detective. 1 dollar. I have no clue what a bible detective is but it sounds fun and you get another dollar for playing. Score.

Prayer time is rightly valued at a higher rate than showing up with the Good Book and goes for 2 smackers.

Bringing a friend is valued at 2 bucks as well. So, if you are popular, you are big-time set. Lesson: More friends = more cash. Now, what I would have done is showed up with about 20 random kids and offered them all one dollar to be my friend for an hour. They each get a buck, and I would have scored 20. (Smacking my "ca-ching" and bullhorn buttons and yelling BOOYAWWW! Kramer-style.)

Knowing the names of the twelve apostles knocks you up 3 whole dollars to 5 bucks. Not too bad but trickier than you think. I mean, can YOU name them all right now? Not without a lifeline I bet.

The 10 commandments only gets you 5 bucks, same as knowing the twelve A's. I don't get that one really. I mean, is knowing that there were 2 disciples named Judas worth as much cash as knowing that killing your neighbor or screwing around on your wife is wrong? I think not. Ten Commandments... way undervalued here.

66 books of the Bible. 10 dollars. Getting in to major cash here folks. The grown-up-right-now-32-year-old-Seth is starting to want in on this action. Time to rip-off my niece’s Veggie tales tape and get to work a-memorizin'.

Lord's Prayer. 10 Dollars. Okay, okay, I think this one is a bit OVERVALUED. I mean, that's right up there with the pledge of allegiance as far as difficulty. Come on. 66 books... WAY harder. Although, that part in the prayer where Jesus says "give us this day our daily BREAD." really comes to life in this little reward system here.

23 Psalms. 10 Dollars. Now this is the most fairly priced item on the list. "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want..." Classic length, good rhyme, but with a butt-load of meaning. 10 smackers. I might be tempted to go 10.50 for that one. 5 bonus bucks if you can sing it.


When it’s all said and done, you are up 50 DOLLARS!!!! Man oh man.

But really... what can a boy buy these days with 50 bucks? You can't even get an iPod shuffle with 50. Maybe on eBay but you are really just sorta stuck buying a week-load of fast food. Sort of a gyp in the long run really. Kinda just gets your hopes up and wets your willie for more cashola. In fact, I think the kids should DEMAND more. 50 dollars? Pshaw. How bout 500 hundred???? Now we're talkin Sugarland-style re-wards. I could get me an 80-gig iPod and have money to flash whilst I send unlimited text messages over my V-cast Razor.

Being a young Christian in Sugarland can be SERIOUSLY profitable...

Duuuuuh. Potato?

I came in here fully intending to blog about something important but alas, my A.D.D. has triumphed again. I cannot for the life of me remember what that thing was and the only reason why I am typing anything at all right now is because I am hoping to distract that part of my brain where the thought is hiding and trick it into spontaneously revealing itself. It's kinda like a little kid who decides to randomly and playfully hide from their paranoid and exhausted mother. To the kid it’s all fun and games but to mommy who is already worn out and really needing a big frosty margarita, it is a little annoying. Maybe if I take a picture of my thumb with my phone and post it, I'll remember... (five minutes later)... Nope.

So here's to tired moms, fun and games, frosty margaritas and my thumb.

In honor of tired moms, fun and game, frosty margaritas, and my thumb, and since that thought has decided to take a nap or gone into a comma in its hiding place, I will post a part of one of my favorite Simpsons episodes. In this episode, Ned Flanders home has been destroyed by a Hurricane that has blown through Springfield. He didn't have insurance because he considered it a form of gambling and is really struggling understanding God's providence. The town of Springfield joins forces to rebuild Ned's house to make him feel better. Enjoy.

Unorthodox

I like to change words in church. I can't help it. Here are a few of my all time favorite phrases that I like to jack-around with.

1. "I am a freind of God He calls me friend" to: "I have a friendly dog we call him Freeeeeed." Or to change it up "I have a friend named Bob his dog is deaaaad."

2. In Shout to The Lord when we sing: "My Jesus, I love You" I sing: "My Amber, I love you Girl there is none Like you..." (I won't sing you the saucy rest.)

3. At the end of "Amazing Love" when we are supposed to sing: "In all I do... I honor you." I sing: "In all I do, this buds for you." (credit to Stacy Holtzman for that one!)

4. This isn't a song but, at church camp in the 4th grade I began pronouncing the book of Deuturonomy to "Dudu-right-on-me" and it has stuck ever-since.

5. "Make Me a Chanel of Blessings" to: "Make me a Salad with dressing today."

I must say that the all-time champ of changing the words to church stuff goes to Brant. Behold, "Change my Heart oh God" in the hands of B-Han.

Check me out, O Lord
See, I'm ever cool
Check me out, O Lord
I guess I kinda rule

You are the potter
I'm like Jars of Clay
'cept a bit younger
I guess more like the Fray

Check me out, O Lord
Check out this earnest look
Check me out, O Lord
See web info to book

Harmful Silence

If you have the chance to encourage someone’s art, or help him or her in some way, do it. If you don't you are one of two things: Jealous, or insecure. If you know someone that is an artist, and they are trying to bring some beauty into this world and you decide to NOT encourage them, I am going to so bold as saying your are being the complete anti-Christian in that moment. Encouragement is a gift of the Spirit. If you intentionally miss the opportunities to encourage or help, you are following a dirty, dank, hurtful, shameful part of your soul. You are putting yourself before others and it is hurtful, and shameful. It amazing how one encouragement can change a life and then how intentional silence can harm. Let me tell you, GOD SEES BOTH.

There have been times in my life where I have seen someone succeeding or with the potential to be successful and I have passed up the chance to encourage them out of selfishness or jealousy. I basically did what this picture is doing, but with my silence. I regret every single missed chance, and harmful silence. "Give and it will be given to you..." He isn't just talking about cash here.

Furthermore, if you only do things or help people because they will be an asset to you or your career then you are being anti-Christian as well. If you only lavish praise on someone because of a position that they hold in the corporate world, then you are nothing but a kiss-ass. Worse, you are a slave to your serpentine pride. Be wary of those who bring gifts and aren't generous to others. They are usually spiteful to others and they are being generous to you for a reason. Examine the gift and the angle. It is better to reject those gifts that are presented for selfish gain like sudden favors. They deceitfully try to make you feel special but really, if there weren’t the possibility of you helping them or doing something for them, they wouldn't give you the time of day. In fact later, they will EXPECT something. We have a word for it in the corporate world to make everything O.K: Networking. They also have a word for it in the criminal world: Mafia.

Christians are COMMANDED to be better than this. That kind of Networking is done out of a total selfishness. Step beyond that and think only of the good of someone else. Even if that means that they will exceed beyond your position and you get nothing. I heard a song once say, "It is an inside-upside-down kingdom." When you intentionally miss the opportunity to encourage or lift-up someone, you harm them, you harm Christ, and you grieve the Holy Spirit.

If someone encourages you, recieve it graciously. Even if you don't respect their opinion. It meant something to them and that is huge. If you encourage and it is met with an arrogant response, do not be offended. You did your job and God will honor that. Pray for them and move on encourging others.

Find an oppurtunity to encourge someone to day and take it. You'll be amazed at what it can do.

"The tongue has the power of life and death" (Proverbs 18:21)

"Therefore encourage each other" (1 Thessalonians 4:18)

I Got Pipes

I made my debut on the Pipe Organ at my friend Josh Moore's wedding yesterday. I have a new respect now for those quirky characters sitting behind that big ole' thing. I mean, there is always something that seems to go wrong for them. Now I know why. I felt like some sort of Wizard over there pushing buttons, pedals, shifting around…

At first I thought I was low man on the totem pole as far as the cool-factor went. Not that coolness matters or anything... sheesh. Anyways, you had Derek Webb singing a tune that Josh wrote, you had Cliff Danielle and Derek singing one of their golden oldies, you had another one of Josh's rockstar friends (wearing shades because you know how bright it gets in those sanctuaries) playing a Keith Greene song that brought tears to all... and then... there was the Pipe Organ. I always thought that if I ever get suckered into... I mean, asked to play the organ there is no way in crap that I will be putting those slippers on or taking my shoes off. In college, it was the piano-majors favorite thing to make fun of- those weird little shoes. Well folks, the boots came off. If you don't know what your big boots are doing half the time, as my wife likes to remind me after nursing her freshly injured toe, the worst place for you to be is sitting at a butt-massive organ at a wedding.

Josh wrote a piece for his bride and it was sort of like a Bach and Beatles mix. It was extremely cool. Just "imagine" if Lennon or Paul would have written a wedding processional. Fun. So now I can say that I jammed with the Caedmon's crew accept... on the... pipe... organ. Nevermind.

Me and Gabe and Aaron S. also played Jesus Joy of Man's Improvising. Or as Josh named it afterwards, "Tourettes Jesu."

Beautiful wedding and congrats to Josh and Elise.

Kick Some Ask

The Copycat World

There are only a handful of completely original artists in western Civ. Chopin, Picasso, Guesualdo, Faulkner, Cummings, Hendrix... to name a few. Most artists have their influences. Mozart, Beethoven, and Bach... they all had influences. Even though they had influences they sounded like themselves. But today, more than any other time in the history of art, the world is filled with copycats and thieves. The information age is partly to blame for this. Worlds just melt into each other and people steal without a second thought. This is just as true in the CCM industry I am finding.

If you are an artist, and you hear something cool, don’t steal it. If you hear Sufjan Stevens putting woodwinds and horns on his album, don't put woodwinds and horns on your album because you think it is cool. Now if you have always written for woodwinds and strings, or you are inspired by those things, go right ahead. But take a gander at Sufjan's bio. He was a woodwind player for crying out loud. It makes sense that that is a part of his vocabulary. Find your own voice. Go listen to Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah. Listen to what that guy did with just his voice and an electric guitar. Talk about heartbreakingly beautiful and individual.

In the end, it is the individual that wins out. If you say something individual with your heart and it can somehow speak through any instrumentation, it will have a staying power that no blatant thief can imitate.

Influences are fine. Creating a knock-off sound world because you want that world, believing you can't come up with something better, is wrong.

If you are considering jacking an idea from someone else, don't do it. Wait till you think of something on your own, and if you do take the idea, for crying out loud, pay homage by giving some credit. Or at least make it obvious you are paying homage.