Who to blame...

Ever wonder at how people thank God when they get the touchdown or win the lottery but chalk any bad luck like a car wreck or a stab in the heart by a sting-ray up to, well... bad luck? What if it is all a kind of "luck.” What if God put this world in motion, while still animating and being personal, (unlike pure deism) and lets things happen the way they are to happen? What if you get the part in the musical because you were talented and not because God wanted it to happen? Why is some long shot a "God thing" and the other times things are a shoe-in. If we blame God for the good things, then why not blame him for the bad things?

I am beginning to wonder if blaming God for everything can lead to more fear and paralysis. When you pray for something and feeeeeel like God is going to make it happen and it doesn't, then doesn't that scare you a bit? I am not talking about the whole "God closes one door and opens another" bit. I grew up in church and have heard that story and know how it works. I am talking about those times where you feel like you have been affirmed, and you can compare that feeling of affirmation with other times... and then it doesn't happen. What about those times? What if it just means what it means? It didn't happen, because it didn't happen. Or it didn't happen because things you did or said caused it to happen that way. It is harder to blame yourself than it is God like saying "well it just wasn't in His will" instead of "well, I really didn't do my best or I shouldn't have had such a big mouth."

I've even heard Christians say "it isn't the most talented who get it but the talented AND persistent." Where is God in that sentence?

There seems to be a sort of improvisation to life. An order but a "dynamic" order as Brant put it in a recent conversation. An order that cannot be controlled because that's how God set it up. Now, he can intervene through miracles, but most of the time it works as it works. (All the while, totally held together by him. A weird thing to ponder but there is really no way around that one.)

Thinking out loud here and I don't feel this way very often so I would be interested in your thoughts.

Good Stuff

If you haven't dropped by to see Brody's latest pics on his photography blog, go check em' out. The man is gifted. And I don't mean in the TBN crappy way. I mean in a way that makes you feel something. I always have to stop and stare at his pictures. Good stuff buddy.

A Great Man

Lee Wayne Mallory, 1922-2007
I am a private person believe it or not. I tell lots of stories and I have a blog, but when it comes to anguish or suffering, or doubts, I am very reluctant to let people in on those things.

This past week my Grandfather passed away. We went to his funeral this past Saturday and it was indescribable. It is the only time in my life where I have actually viewed suffering as a kind of gift. A bitter, bitter gift, but a gift nonetheless. He is survived by his wife of 63 years, 9 children, 26 grandchildren, and 48 great grandchildren. There were over 200 family members on the family side alone. The church was not big enough to accommodate all the people that were impacted by this wonderful man's life. They had to be seated in Sunday school rooms and people were standing in the back of the church.

My granddad wore overalls every day of his life. It was his signature. That is how his grandsons remember him. My sister snapped this picture of him one night after he was finishing some yard work before dark. When I went to visit him for the last time a few weeks ago his overalls were folded by the bed and I could barely stand it. He was a simple farmer with a huge heart, sensational sense of humor and a sharp creative mind. His farm is filled and decorated with things he made with his hands. When my grandmother hurt her knees and couldn't bend down to garden he built her a huge raised garden. He never lived a day in his life for himself. I could fill my blog with stories about him but I just can't. They wouldn't do him justice. All the grandsons were his pallbearers. We all wore overalls like his. He would have laughed and got a kick out of it. Especially seeing me in them.

My cousins are all pretty much rough and tough cowboys and farmers but when my grandmother came to his coffin to say her last goodbye, we all bowed our heads and wept. I have never seen or heard anything more painful than that. Her companion of 63 years was now with the Lord and everyone in that room was profoundly moved. She had been his since she was 15 years old. Her 9 kids huddled around her to comfort her. Honestly, I have never been so moved.

The only thing I can say is that I hope to live my life half that well. As far as this life goes, it can't end much better than being surrounded by all your family and loved that much. They just don't make em' like that anymore.

We'll miss you grandpa but we'll being seeing you soon.

Say a prayer for my grandma if you get a chance this week. Thanks.

Hurry. I Don't Have All Minute.

The world is moving to fast for me. So many new things. One of the reasons I don't read Seth Godin's blog. For some reason his blog depresses me. He does have a spiffy first name though. There was this autistic kid that I knew that ended every sentence with the word "though." I have to say that it was a bit contagious. For about two weeks after talking to him I had to force myself to NOT end each sentence with "though."

Anyways, the world... moving too fast. Too much technology. Don't get me wrong, I love technology. But not as much as you, you see. Always and forever. I just get tired of the rat race. Every time I turn around some big new deal is happening. New phones come out right about the time I break into my last 50988-dollar contraption. There is always something new happening with Itunes, some new internet toy, some new way to whore, I mean, market yourself. And again, phones. Gotta have the new iPhone or I'll just die... Honestly I am about ready to throw that stupid, intrusive thing out the window. I miss those days... When I had that kind of guts. I wouldn't last 6 hours without my phone now. I'd be like Tom Hanks in Cast Away when he got mad at Wilson and drop-kicked him out the cave. What a wimp I have become.

I'm Techny-whipped.

Sometimes I want to go up into the mountains, grow a thicker beard, make friends with a big bear and cook flapjacks and save people from perils with me and my bear. I don't think Amber would go for the bear though.

I Hate Allergies

I get nailed this time every year by pollen, dust and mold. Houston is the worst. It is like Auschwitz for people with allergies. It will usually hit me all in one day. The one day that I forget to take my Claritin. Then come the reinforcements: The cavalry/cold, the marines/flu or the special forces/sinus infection. I think I have had the cavalry and the Special Forces this time around. Darn this Houston. DARN IT ALL TO HADES!!!!

Right now I am on Flonaise and Claritin. Any natural remedies? What's your pleasure?...

I sneezed 4 times while typing this.

Passover Parallels

This week is Passover week for the Jews. I think it is just amazing to view the Last Supper in light of the passover. It is really the only way to know the full significance of what occured there. Ours is a faith that is deeply and forever rooted in the ancient Jewish traditions. Almost everything we do in church is in some way related to how it was done by the Jews.

What happens on the Jewish Passover?

The First Cup

When all are seated around the table the first cup of wine is poured out for each. The head of the house rises and thanks God for the fruits of the vine and for the great day which they are about to celebrate. He then sits down and drinks his cup of wine in a reclining posture, leaning on his left arm. The others drink at the same time. In the time of the Temple the poorest Jew was to drink four cups of wine during this joyful meal; and if he happened to be too poor, it was to be supplied out of public funds.

The Bitter Herbs and Afikoman

After drinking the first cup the master rises and washes his hands, the others remaining seated, and Eldersheim is of the opinion that it was at this point of the supper that Christ washed the disciples feet. After washing his hands, the head of the family sits down, takes a small quantity of bitter herbs, dips them in salt water, and eats them, reclining on his left elbow.In the time of our Lord, it is not improbable that it was from this portion, called afikoman, that the Eucharist was instituted. As soon as this portion is laid aside, the other half is replaced, the dish containing the unleavened cakes is uncovered, and all, standing up, take hold of the dish and solemnly lift it up, chanting slowly in Aramaic: "This is the bread of affliction which our fathers ate in Egypt. This year here, next year in Jerusalem. This year slaves, next year free." (And when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me." 1 Corinthians 11:24)

The Second Cup

All sit down, and the youngest son asks "why this night above all other nights they eat bitter herbs, unleavened bread, and in a reclining posture." The head of the house then tells how their fathers were idolaters when God chose Abraham, how they were slaves in Egypt, how God delivered them, etc. God is praised and blessed for His wondrous mercies to their nation, and this first part of the ceremony is brought to a close by their breaking forth with the recitation of the first part of the Hallel (Psalms 112 and 114) and drinking the second cup of wine, which is triumphantly held aloft and called the cup of the Haggadah or story of deliverance.

There are two more cups and several other things that occur that are fascinating but would take up pleny o' space here so I'll let you read up on the rest if you are interested. The point is that what Jesus said and did that night would have been mind blowing to the disciples. In this moment Jesus set the stage for the Christian service forever until he comes again. In my opinion, it is a crying shame that we choose to observe this only when convenient and in some churches it is non-existant altogether. Early Christans would have never thought to come together without this. In the Last Supper, Christ fully explains what He is about to do and fulfills an age-old observance that was to symbolize God's deliverance and hope for the Messiah.

If you can, go to a Passover service to both observe a beautiful faith and know the full power of what was said and done that night in Jerusalem when Jesus said "Take and eat. THIS is my body broken for you."

A Fresh Convert

I am now officially a fan of this show. I watched 4 episodes of season 2 last night and I am totally hooked. We will be renting and watching each season until we are up to date. I don't usually get hooked on shows but 24 shall take its place beside my beloved Office as the two shows that I will go out of my way to watch, even it that means rescheduling my weekly briefing with the president.

What are your all-time-top-5 favorite shows, shows that have hopelessly hooked you? As in -didn't miss an episode unless I was trapped under something heavy. (name that movie reference)

Mine:
5. Dukes of Hazzard (young lad)
4. Moonlighting
3. Night Rider
2. The Simpsons
1. The Office

Dancing with the... "Stars"

Why hasn't anyone ever pointed out that the title of this show is a complete fraud? Paul McCartney= Star. Paul McCartney's ex-wife= Star's ex-wife. I mean, Hey, I am a distant cousin of the American composer Aaron Copeland but I am not about to try and star on the show "Dancing with the Composers" am I? AM I??? I think not. (However, that artificial Leg dancing is pretty awesome, as a matter of fact, THAT premise could make for a much BETTER show.)

So, I'll give you Jerry Springer from last season. I MIGHT even give you Emit Smith although I defy someone to please tell me a movie, show, church musical where Emit has been a "star"?

Alas, the show is entertaining. Sure beats Wife-Swap and I think the judges are pretty cool. The one man that keeps me coming back to this show is my best friend Joey's role model: Billy Ray Cyrus. Billy Ray Cyrus is one of those characters that you cannot miss. Whether he is cutting a rug, parting his mullet or answering EVERY SINGLE QUESTION with a reference to Achy Breaky Heart. (He seems like a pretty nice chap. I see why Joey has a pair of Billy Ray's high-top sneakers from this video autographed and on his mantle.)

Injured

Groves and Harper

Sounds like a Law firm or something huh? Anywho, got to spend a little time with Shaun and Brody this weekend and good times were had.

One thing that we discussed was how meeting people that you met first in the blogosphere is always a bit strange. Your imagination always has a different idea of the person than what exists in reality. I had met Shaun before blogging so it wasn't so weird. And amazingly, Brody was pretty much just like what I had imagined (eccentric with a French accent, eyes darting to and fro as if looking for a spy) so the awkwardness, if there was any, was brief.

The first conversation I had with Shaun was a few years ago while I was on the toilet at my church. He had just sung a small set and I was sneaking out after playing the worship set. We said hello as we entered the bathroom. Well, long story short, I was assuming the normal posture one assumes when... ahem. And Shaun just kept pelting me with questions from the other side of the stall as he washed his hands. I really couldn't do the questions justice because I was busy trying not to make the sounds one makes when in the aforementioned posture. In short, I really just wanted him to hit the road so I could get down to business. In hindsight, I should have just let the symphony play but I usually don't let people have the real me till after they have met my wife and they know that I must be somewhat normal for her to marry me.

Shaun and Brody make a terrific duo and it is apparent that they have a good time at what they do. And Dangit if that guy can write some tunes. The best part about these two fellows is that they are sold-out family men and completely down to earth. I could tell you more of what happened while they were in Sugarland but it might get them arrested.

This Reminded Me of Me

One more whilst I am dueling it out with protools. I dedicate this one to Joey.

?

Schizophrenia' by Sonic Youth

what in the world.

Shaun and Brody came to town this weekend. Blog coming soon. Until then, someone explain this to me. And why was I not invited to this concert?

(ht: Grant Miller)

Lust

I must have it. Own it. Look at it. And last but not least, call people with it. I have resisted for as long as I can. So when my Verizon plan expires, I will own this. Oh yes, I will. I cannot bare the thought of my other Mac friends flashing their shiny new iPhones in my face dancing around me in circles singing, nah nah nah nah naaaah nah. It will not happen I tell you. I have seen the iPhone bathing on the roof and it will be mine. If I have to send my Treo out to the front lines (the toilet) then so be it.

"I am my beloved and my beloved is mine..."

There is no known cure for Mac lust. A frugal wife is the only thing that has been known to treat the symptoms.

Brief, Briefer, Briefestestest

I read the Brief History of Time and it was good. I read "An Even Briefer History of Time" and it was better. (More pictures. For some reason, pictures have always helped me to understand stories better. Sometimes I just look at the pictures and get bored if books like math books don't have them. GENNNAAYYY!)

In following that idea and wanting to capitalize on it in the Christian subculture, I have decided to write: "The Christian View of the Briefestestest History of Time Ever (Triple-Christian-Dog-Dare-Infinity-No-Take-Backs-Briefestestest History that is)"

Here is what I've got in mind. I'll give you a one-time sneak preview. Prepare to marvel at the genius... It will have one page, three words (shrink wrapped of course as not to reveal the mystery to sneaky Barnes and Noble reading thieves)...

"Bang, Jesus, Present.... The End (of this book that is...)"

What do you think? Million dollar baby right there if you ask me...

I like that "of this book that is..." part. Builds suspense and keeps people biting their nails, waiting for the sequel.

I even thought about finding a Christian scientist in a wheel-chair to write a forward to make it more "authentic" but I think I'll just get the eminent Christian Scientist Hal Lindsay. Not as in "won't-take-advil-Christian Scientist" but as in REAL "science" scientist.)

The Ultimate Gift: a review.

I saw "The Ultimate Gift" tonight, one of the new "Faith-centered" movies coming out of the FOX Faith marketing division lately. Yeah, Fox has decided that it has tasted the waters of Christian commerce and found that it was good. It was soooo yummy and the fish are sooooo hungry that they built a whole wing dedicated to making films for the Christian subculture. I guess the FOX Jesus studios are right next door to "Wife Swap" sets or "The Surreal Life" sets, both of which are living testaments to a truly depraved and self-absorbed culture.

My point: Don't be a sucker. Fox is in it for the cash and cash they will rake. The motivation is no different than the "Surreal Life" motivation to stick Tammy Fay in the same house as a retired porn star, shake up the Jar and watch them fight. It is just that the jar you are in causes much tears and yields much purified Chrisitian cash.

The film- Words cannot express the discomfort this film gave me but I will try. (knuckles cracking)

For starters, I felt like someone had laced my underwear with chili pepper. I squirmed, looked at my watch, and tried desparatedly to hear a faint action sequence to the more realistic "300" going on next door. Honestly, it is almost not worth reviewing. Yes it had a moral. My Lord did it have a moral. I have a black eye from the assault of morals. If you didn't "catch" the morals then you just might be clinically insane or blind and deaf. The writers of this film danced through the gifts of laughter, money, family, friends and love with the subtlety of a Roto-Rooter man on a tractor at a monster truck rally. I truly felt like I was watching a Christian Lifetime movie on my period... and I'm a guy. The acting performances were good but the premise of the movie was PROSPERITY. I don't care how many lessons the guy learned, in the end it was still all about the cash. I felt guilty at the end of the movie when he got the big score because I started fanaticizing about all I could buy with 2 billion dollars he landed. I had the opposite effect with "The Pursuit of Happiness." In that movie I felt the big payoff of big cash at the end left me feeling empty and I just wanted to go home and hug my wife. Here the payoff was supposed to be "go hug your wife" but I was thinking about rolling around on the deck of the new yacht that I would buy with all that cashola from dead grandaddy warbucks.

Moral of the story to filmakers: Don't beat me over the head with the moral of the story or it might have an adverse effect. At a certain point the body will reject too much sugar and cause death by coma. The End.

The plot: Deceased billionaire (James Garner) leaves his party-animal-uber-cool-materialist-hottie grandson "something" that he will get only if he passes a series of tests to build his character. Gee what could that "something" be?... Hmmm could it be ...the rest of his vast fortune??? Anyways, he reluctantly accepts the challenge and much character is built including getting caught by Ecuadorian drug lords while finding the plane his father crashed because his father was trying to convince his grandad that there was oil in them thar Ecuadorian hills when all his Grandfather wanted to do was build a library for these poor Ecuadorians. Somehow he is told that his dad died in the crash trying to deliver medical supplies to a neighboring village. The reason for the lie is still a complete mystery to me. What is so wrong about drilling for oil???

Tired yet? Yeah me too.

Recomendation: It is safe for the whole family but so is a game of monopoly. Play monopoly. At least there you can get better at math and learn that if you risk a lot you might loose it all. A better lesson than: "If you pass the second to the last test that your billionaire grandfather set up for you and build a designer hospital for the leukemia girl that you met as a part of your "test" to get riches then you shall get the ultimate Cash pile.

Grade: D------------- and a barf bag in a pair tree.

Best part of the film: The Sara Groves song at the end. Just beautiful. Seriously. I might own the soundrack for just that song.

P.S. Actually the best part of the film for me was getting to watch it with my dear friends the Holtzmans. Amber is still in Dallas and they took pity on this poor lonely man and treated him to a movie that he just ripped a new one. I am thankful for the time spent with them but wanted to take a tommy gun to the screen.

The Visually Impaired For Wolrd Peas

I saw this headline today and read it as "Israel's Omelet rules peace talks with Palestinians..."

I skimmed it and moved on. Then my mind started to try and piece this story together. I started to imagine the head honchos of Israel and Palestine finally coming to peace over a good omelet unique to the Israeli culture.

"NO!! I tell you. We will NOT give up the Gaza strip"... (*chomp*) ... MY GOD THIS IS A TASTY OMLET!!!... welllll. I guess you can have it. Just give me the recipe and we'll call it quits."

I'm tellin' you. I should run for world leader some day.

Cate In the Next Indy

It is destined to be great. I feel like doing some sort of dance when I think about the new Indy film. No one can make a grown man spill his popcorn while laughing and pumping his fist like the dynamic duo Lucas/Spielberg.

Indy trivia: In which of the three films where the main characters named after dogs and whose dogs where they named after.

Burnt The Gerbil Cookies

Is everyone crazy?

Believe it or not I'm walkin' on air. Fragile, handle with care. "Be ready for anything" said the pink bunny. "My biopsy was GREAT!" Said the barnacle turtle.

I stood on a chair and smacked at a fire alarm that was beeping because the battery was running down last night. It sounded like the beep from a giant space ship of ants.

"Mama, is the mayo still good? I don't believe in Santa anymore. Is my laundry finished?" The guitar collects dust by the closet. It is really irritated at the neglect. Sorry brother, you gotta wait your turn.

My life is an Oreo cookie. Hard on the outside but very soft in the place where only the wind and sun never see.

Cousin Q from Star Trek is coming to dinner. Wonder if we'll have fried chicken or Colored greens said Michael from the Office. Love that show.

Don't wait up said the carrot cake to the fridge.

The Gerbils are planning a takeover tonight and burning the cookies is the first item of business.

(please your own nonsense add fast. Come on you know you want to burp the fantasic world of under arm dirt!)

The Problem With Jesus

The Da Vinci Code, The new Cameron Movie, the uproar at the Mel Gibson movie... will the controversy ever end????

Get comfy folks. Jesus is just as controversial as he was when the rumor of his birth hit the ears of Herod.

We are in to the 21st century and the world is still as fascinated as ever with the person of Jesus of Nazareth. There are countless books, blogs, magazines, movies and seminars dedicated to discount the truth about him. I have been involved in discussions on several blogs that wish nothing more than to see Jesus join the ranks of fairies and unicorns. There was a seminar in the 70s and 80s put together by “Christian” scholars who tried to strip the gospel of all of its miracles. There have been plays that have portrayed him as a homosexual, paintings of him immersed in urine. The list goes on and on and on.

Why all the hubbub? Well most might say: "Well, the demons tremble at his name and the very nature of man repels this truth because he walks in darkness." I do not disagree with that sentiment but I think there are three main reasons, on the surface, that we will never cease to have this discussion until his return.

1. Jesus was a real man who taught wonderful things. Our whole western civilization is built upon the principles that he taught and lived.

2. He performed miracles. You see, the Gospels have this little problem about them. They have the distinct aroma of the real but they also have those pesky miracles. The man was the greatest teacher that ever lived. The greatest human being that ever lived. Hardly anyone argues that. The Gospels represent his loving and eternally wise character beautifully. They also contain Jesus walking on water, calming storms and bringing people back to life from the dead.

3. He claimed to be God. The big one. Lewis said it best. You know the quote: "Lord, Liar, or lunatic." Here Jesus goes a place that only faith can take you. Even the miracles can be tolerated or humored but not this. If you believe a single word he says then you must believe this as well. The “opt out” clause was never in a single phrase he spoke.

There is God and there is man. Something is dead wrong with man and everyone knows it. Only God could set such a thing right. He started with the Jews. Through them he entered the world and made things right for those who believe it. That concept was even over the heads of the Jews at the time. They wanted a great conquering warrior who would squash the Romans. God’s plan was a tad bigger. He was to squash death itself for mankind.

In my opinion, these are the primary reasons why people keep returning to the person of Jesus for admiration or attack. They want to believe it and they don't. The want to ignore him but they cannot so they attack. The world's view of Jesus is beautifully summed up in a conversation with Einstein about Jesus. (who never converted)

"I am a Jew, but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of the Nazarene....No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of Jesus. His personality pulsates in every word. No myth is filled with such life.

Jesus is too colossal for the pen of phrasemongers, however artful. No man can dispose of Christianity with a clever word"

Finally Fancy!

She finally took the step ladies and gentlemen. She heard the soft music playing "I surrender Blog” The preacher was talking in his low Holy Spirit tone and the heartstrings were pulled at the right velocity to begin animating Fancy's blogging heart. That's right, the illustrious and mysterious "Fancypants" has finally emerged with her own blog. In it she finally reveals her secret identity. Please drop by and greet our newest blogging fanatic at "The FancyPants Factory" Click here to drop by and welcome Fancy to the cul-de-sac.

Cow Eats Chickens

(All responsive comments in parenthesis are mine. This is real news that I got from Yahoo...)

KOLKATA, India (Reuters) Yahoo News

"When dozens of chickens went missing from a remote West Bengal village, everyone blamed the neighborhood dogs.

But Ajit Ghosh, the owner of the missing chickens, eventually solved the puzzle when he caught his cow -- a sacred animal for the Hindu family -- gobbling up several of them at night. (Oh my sweet lord.)

"We were shocked to see our calf eating chickens alive," Ghosh told Reuters by phone from Chandpur village. (uhhh yeah. Can you say, "get the shotgun Charlie, the devil's done taken over Bessie)

The family decided to stand guard at night on Monday at the cow shed which also served as a hen coop, after 48 chickens went missing in a month. (Fourty Eight Chickens. That is a 4 and an 8. 12 x 4 chickens met their death by A COW.)

"Instead of the dogs, we watched in horror as the calf, whom we had fondly named Lal, sneak to the coop and grab the little ones with the precision of a jungle cat," Gour Ghosh, his brother, said. (I guess Lai had you seriously duped. Wonder if Lai is responsible for the huge opium market coming out of India as well... prostitute ring.... the Cow Pimp?)

Local television pictures showed the cow grabbing and eating a chicken in seconds and a vet confirmed the case. (Dangit do I wish we lived in India where we could see something so cool on T.V. we just get that Full House guy cracking jokes about the dog who eats its own poop. We don't ever get no Chicken-eating Cow in action.)

"We think lack of vital minerals in the body is causing this behavior. We have taken a look and have asked doctors to look into the case immediately," Mihir Satpathy, a district veterinary officer, said by phone. (Do I hear a Chick Fil A advertisement deal in the future?)

"This strange behavior is possible in some exceptional cases," Satpathy said. (Ummmm yeah like when my hampster opened fire on a fresh litter of kittens with a tiny tommy-gun... no the chicken-eating cow still takes the cake.)

Hundreds of villagers flocked to Chandpur on Wednesday to catch a glimpse of Lal, enjoying his bundle of green grass for a change. (If I were there I would have snuck to the back of the crowd and lobbed a rubber chicken over by the cow to see what she would do)

"The local vets said the cow was probably suffering from a disease but others said Lal was a tiger in his previous birth," Ajit added." (I'm sorry... I am a Christian... but... applying Ockham's Razor here, that reincarnated tiger bit sounds like a good explanation to me.)

The Dealio

If you haven't noticed, the posting here has been scant and skeletal. On top of that i've only made it to one or two other blogs for reading in the past week alone. The reason? One gets tired of hearing old "been busy" adage because sometimes I think it makes other bloggers feel as if they themselves haven't had anything better to do but read and write blogs. Well, fear not. I know that all of those that read this are busy themselves with this beautiful gift that we call living. Besides, there are other reasons for my lack of blogging.

The main reason for my lack of posting and reading is that I was starting to become saturated with Christian subculture. In short, I started caring too much. I started to think CONSTANTLY about what YOU and I think, what is wrong with the Church, what is wrong with Christian radio and what is wrong with the entire Christian pop-culture-trying-to-be-relevant-but-totally-irrelevant-fundamentalist mindset that so divorces itself from the real world where real people live and breath and need "US" and not our opinions/uber-cool B.S. more than ever. "In the world, not of it." That is the command right? So I guess you could say that is where old Sethro and Amberella have been been lately. And let me tell you... it is hard. Maybe I am a wimp. Regardless, it isn’t too rosy sometimes. It is hard to maintain the Pollyanna Christian subculture worldview when you decide to work and spend a lot of time outside of it. It is impossible sit on the judgment seat because you realize that you are on court-room floor the whole time with the rest of the sinners. However, this is where any bit of real love you have inside your-"real"-self engages. To befriend and love people who trade wives and or "partners" or guys who think nothing of watching porn on their computers every night, is the ultimate battleground for truth and your belief in a Savior.

This is where we feel God is calling us. There is a big, big nasty world out behind the safe walls of Christian Subculture. Sometimes I find myself wanting to run back over the walls and suck my thumb and eat stolen animal crackers from the church nursery but I know that is cowardly and childish. Some people are called to be behind those walls and keep the place in order so that the weary Christians in the world can have a place to refresh and be encouraged and filled. Lets be honest, the current church model is more suited for that rather then being designed or organized to infiltrate the world outside its walls. It is a custom-made bible-teaching country club for Christians. I have made my peace with all of that. Now more than ever. After many-a talk with my Wicca friend who wears porno shirts or my Atheist friend who thinks wife-swapping is cool, I really don't have a problem taking a break from that and hitting the racquetball courts at Second Baptist. I'm not saying the church is "right" for having them while another church around the world can't pay its electircity, I am just saying that I have been less... gripy about them since I no longer work so much in that environment. (I was sort of like the teenager that was ticked at his parents and their stunted world view and conservative politics while all the while asking mom what's for dinner in the home that they provided and driving the car that dad bought with his stunted world view job.) As for the people who work and minister there, I consider them lucky. That is the God's-honest truth. (Not that the Church doesn't have its share of "secret sin" but honestly... it is a mere echo of the stuff over the walls.) However, being "safe" behind those walls does not seem to be my pull or "call." So this was the balance or obedience that I missed.

The difference? It takes more prayer and it is harder and harder to pray. It takes more active faith even though the faith you have feels like it could barely spread over a dinner roll 80% of the time. (It is a good thing it only takes the faith of a mustard seed.) This may all sound grim but I feel pretty good about the whole deal right now. I can turn on Christian Radio and remember why it is good. I can go to the workout room once a week at the Church and remember why it is good. Then I can spend the rest of that time rubbing elbows with people living lifestyles that are anti-everything God wants and remember why I am being re-made into something good. Strangely enough, the reality sets in that I may not have been saved just so that "I" can go to heaven. Maybe God had bigger plans than that when he saved my soul.

Here is what I have been up to in the order of time-consumptiveness.

1. Shooting my next film

2. Teaching Class at Rice

3. Writing my dissertation

4. Writing for next album (almost complete)

5. Editing my short stories and a script

6. Teaching Lessons

7. Working at the Church part time.

We covet your friendship and your prayers.

Trunk Monkey

This would be a booming business in Houston. I wanted one of these yesterday.

Brain Sqeezer

Time travel. Can't stop thinking about it lately. It first started when I decided that Christ would be returning in the near future. If there is a future I am sure that we would have been able to tackle the time-travel problem, which would mean that eventually anyone can go back into time which would of course mean the end of the world. So basically, my theory is that either the world ends before we can do any damage to ourselves in time travel or Jesus comes back, in the future before we have that technology. More recently, I have been thinking that time travel is truly impossible altogether and here is where I need a few of you science geeks to help me out here. If I traveled back in time and gave myself the winning lotto tickets would it not alter my future which would alter my "future me" and would cause me to NOT go back into time in the first place which would negate the time-travel altogether?

Trivia: Name two famous songs that have "time" as the subject.

A Few things That have Always Perplexed Me.

1. Why the word for dyslexia is the easiest word to jack-up and the most difficult word for a dyslexic person to spell. (I have yet to spell it correctly on the first try, including this time.)

2. Why the word for phonics is not spelled foniks.

3. Why a drive-way is called a drive-way and not a park-way.

4. Why people drink Diet Coke.

5. How ones breath can go from toothpaste good at night to "good-morning-dearI-just-ate-a-pile-of-fresh-manure-while-you-slept-BAD?"

6. Why we spend so much time (as men) washing our chest in the shower when it is probably the cleanest part of our bodies. You would think that we fall chest-first into a dirt every day.

7. Yawning. The REAL reason for yawning is still a mystery. There are theories, but it still doens't explain why when one person yawns it inspires all to yawn.

8. Using the bathroom in Heaven. Will we or won't we?

Got any life-long perplexers?

John Williams, Leitmotif and Empire Strikes Back

Leitmotif was something developed by the German Composer Richard Wagner. In a nutshell it is associating certain characters with certain musical themes or melodies. Most of you have heard the "Kill the Wabbit" theme from the Bugs Bunny cartoons. Well, this is the Valkyrie's theme in one of Wagner's operas. John Williams used this technique of relating melody with people, places, and things ingeniously in his Star Wars trilogy.

One of my favorite examples: In The Empire Strikes back we find Luke hanging upside down in the Ice monster’s cave awaiting his eating. Luke comes-to and sees his light saber. To give the scene the tension and impending terror it needs Williams employs a sort of swirling cluster of strings. The dissonance is felt every time we see hints of the monster getting ready to return to Luke. All seems hopeless to Luke. Then Luke sees it. His light saber. He reaches for it. Over the quiet, swirling string dissonance the brass swells in more dissonance to represent Luke's attempt at moving it with the force. The light saber barely moves. Then, the leitmotif for "the force" is employed and chills are sent up our spine. Over the swirling dissonance, as Luke closes his eyes to use the force we hear that familiar theme. The juxtaposition of the swirling dissonance and the haunting melodic representation of the force gives the scene power, beauty and magic. Genius.

Rough Drafts for Jesus Take the Wheel.

"Jesus drive my snowmobile
I'm flying off off the cliff..."

"Jesus steer my boat
I think I see some reef..."

"Jesus take my hand-glider
a bird just ripped my sail..."

"Jesus take my pogostick
it's jumping way to hard..."

"Jesus drive my truck
I've had too much to drink..."

Leave it to the Chinese

Leave it to the Chinese to invent something that will zap the crap out of a bird if it turns left instead of right. Gee... I wonder if this may be a test ground for something else... hmmm. I mean, how and when did they decide to come up with this idea? All I can imagine is the communist dictator getting angry at his pigeon because it stopped for too many worms on its way home and he became furious. He then turned to his top scientists and threw a billion dollars into a program to make his pigeons obey. There is probably some kind of work in progress to strap a tiny nuke on the poor bird so they can plan a pigeon-nuke-attack on Taiwan.

I have many Chinese friends. Many GREAT Chinese friends. From them, I have listened to countless stories of piano teacher-tyranny in their piano pedagogical past. Stories of teachers smacking their hands with a ruler when they hit a wrong note. One guy told me the back of his hand was bright red after one lesson. Another girl told me that her bladder almost ruptured because she was afraid to ask her teacher if she could go to the bathroom.

Maybe the next great dictator can invent a mandatory chill-zapper-device. Or maybe the Jamaican military (an oxymoron) could drop a hundred billion marijuana seeds across the countryside. Nah, then we would just have another Canada. DOH!

Astronaut Farmer Review

It took me a while to assimilate just how I felt after the closing credits rolled up the screen for this film. I went into the movie with high hopes and sort of left feeling more... refreshed than exhilarated.

The plot: An X-astronaut (almost astronaut I should say) builds a rocket for space travel then gets in trouble with the government, understandably. Everyone thinks he is nuts and sort of a danger to his family, and sadly, no matter how much we like him, he IS building a huge rocket in his barn 35 feet from his house. So, a dangerous man that makes him. He is about to lose his BEAUTIFUL ranch because he has spent all of his money building his rocket. He can't get the fuel he needs so he concocts some kind of pseudo-jet fuel, tries to launch and fails. Dummy. He almost breaks every bone in his body, nearly kills his family and a few of the press. He survives, goes to the hospital, gets well. Meanwhile, his wife's dad dies and leaves them a bunch of cash. She pays of the debt, sees the light and gives him the money to build another rocket, even though this could leave her a widow and her two girls fatherless, not to mention kill them and others if it crashes into a nearby city... or far off city.

Now, I am no scardy cat. I know life is full of danger. It is dangerous to drive to work every day. It can certainly be risky to follow your dreams but we are talking a man and his son building a rocket out of spare rocket parts... I think after one launch that nearly kills me and everyone I love, I might be tempted to hang up the ratchet and buy a ticket on a Russian spacecraft. Honestly, if the dream becomes a SERIOUS bodily threat to your family and others, I am thinking I might find another dream. No matter how much I just LOVE to juggle nitroglycerin, it’s just not worth the risk. But that kind of realism is not what this movie is about. It is about not giving up on your dreams no matter how absurd. So grandpa's croak-money makes it possible and he launches again, makes it to space, has complications when he flies under a satellite -which would be the equivalent of me driving through the desert and passing by a concession stand (its a mighty big space of there)- drops to the ground somewhere in the middle of the Arizona desert and his wife and kids come to pick him up like he had been out for a stroll and he got lost.

Other things made this movie a tad bit boring for me. The dialogue scenes with the family, while endearing, were about the same kind of things. Cute girls laughing at their sweet dad, mom gazing at Astronaut hubby, and an "I am going to the moon and I am taking..." game. (which is a cool game btw) Not even a surprise appearance from Bruce Willis could spark the fire in the family dialogue, which was like drinking milk when you want a margarita. The one family fight scene actually seemed more like a relief than a stress.

So for all its good ideas and good story line, it was a little.... boring. I would still recommend it for anyone who wants to take the entire family to a movie. Good wholesome story-telling that was a little.... boring. I said that already, but I felt the warning must be double-dosed here.

Astronaut Farmer B-

White Stripes, Doorbell

Another "Christian" artist that I like. Jack White, from the White Stripes.

On Home Page of On the Lot!

My film "a day in a life" is on the front page of the website under the "most viewed" category! Fun. I am getting a lot of positive and constructive feedback from viewers and other filmmakers. (With an occasional anonymous heckler) (click here) Drop by and view and review if you haven't already!Be sure and let me know if you did so I can say thanks.

My Wife

My Wife is amazing. That is all there is to it. I have no clue how she is able to handle me or why she married me. I can be so confusing at times. I am A.D.D. of the charts, I am dyslexic so she is constantly proofreading my papers and essays, I can be a real slob, (at any random time there could be 4 coffee cups all over our apartment,) AND she married a dreamer. A BIG dreamer. It takes a special person to be married to one of those crazies. Just like it takes a special mom to raise a disabled child. (That is not meant as a joke!)

For the past 3 days she has done nothing but encourage and help me, full time, to pursue my dreams. Your spouse, more than anyone else should be the presence of Christ in your life. She is always that in some way or another, but many times I think spouses miss this part that she gets. They forget that the other has dreams. They are passionate. Amber takes the time to ask me what they are, she challenges me, lifts me up, and pushes me towards those passions and to fearlessly follow the Lord in what ever desire or dream He puts in my heart. While other people want to discourage me or tell me "you know, God doesn't always give you what you want" she is telling me it is still okay to risk the rejection, the hurt and to go ahead and ask or go for it. As a matter of fact it is better to ask and pursue, taking the chance of failure, than to sit and do nothing.

I could talk about her all day.

Plus she is totally HOT.

What a woman.

Help Me Get to Know Spielberg...

FOX network is doing a new reality show. This one is REEAAALLLLY cool. Its called "On the Lot” One of the creators of this show is the great Steven Spielberg. The purpose is to find 16 amateur filmmakers from around the world for participation in a filmmaker reality show. Basically a Film American Idol kind of thing. The last day to submit, upload or postmark your film was day before yesterday and I made it in the knick of time. At the end the competition the director will be awarded a million dollar development deal with DreamWorks.

I have entered this competition with a short film I did a few years back. It is a short "art" film and it is a silent film. Before the film they ask that we add a little intro about ourselves so that's on there too.

Here is where YOU come in and help your old buddy. The producers of the show are LETTING VIEWERS RATE the submitted films and THIS WILL PLAY A PART IN THE CHOOSING OF THE 16.

What would be AWESOME is if you all, my friends and compadres, would go to this site, take one minute to register and then give my film a rating and or a review. I would love to hear your input!!!! Please go review it. It will only take a second.

Also, if you feel so inclined, you have my permission to tell as many people as you want, AND if you are hard up for a blog topic, fire away with this one!!!

A reminder: This is a low budget, (0$) short "art" film. I shot it with one camera and a Mac with imovie. So don't expect the Matrix or Indy Jones. Also, if you right a review, there is no need to let on that you know me in the review. It will be more credible if you don't say "see you at church" or "you are the best teacher!" Although these things are flattering and I really LOVE seeing you at church, or teaching you theory, ear training or Guitar lessons, I imagine they won't take you too seriously. So, that being said, feel free to be honest. Go ahead and leave 5 out of 5, or even 4 out of 5... you could even score 3 out of 5... ... If you decided 2 or less out of five may a curse fall upon you and your animals.

Lastly, I scored the film as well. Hope you enjoy!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH, RATE AND REVIEW MY FILM.. PLEAAASE!!!!!

Be More, recap.

Be more. I know I have already blogged about this but I feel the need to summarize and reiterate. Be more. A Christian should feel deeper love, compassion, passion, desire, joy, and sorrow. In short, they should be more like a child. Not a child in the way that they lack wisdom, "childish" but in that there is a sense of wonder and amazement. Every saint should stand in the presence and know that the Spirit flows through them so magnificently that there could be no more or less. We simply pull back the curtain the more we seek Him and live to the fullest.

Stop looking behind you at mistakes or could-have would-haves in the past. Look forward to every day that is a brilliant and love-blinding gift. Engage in what is ahead. Regret or wishing you could have done something in the past, is delighting in that thing that you didn't do or that regret. When you do this you needlessly torture yourself. Delight in the Lord, in the here and now, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Ask God to help you 'feel' today and 'see' today how He sees. Soak it all in, because when you do, you are soaking in Him as well. He is in it all, and holds it together. He thinks that it is good and we should as well. He made it for us.

Soak it up people!

My Humps.

I just wanted to have a blog title with that name. Nothing really relating to that here. I've always though that it was just such a hilarious name for a song. I think I'll right a song titled "My Bulge." Yeah, that'll sell a million. Maybe I can right a hip hop ballet and call it "My Bulge."

Okay, that's about enough of that. No more mental images, PLEASE Lord. Soooooo. How's it going. Really? That bad huh? Well that will usually clear up in 3 to 4 weeks.

This is a test. This is a test of the needlessy posting blogcast system. This only a test.

Did you know that you can spell favorite in Britain with a "u". Favourite. Sorta pointless if you ask me. Come on. Jump on the bandwagon here and just drop the "U" why don't ya. Kinda like that King and Queen bit you've got going on over there. Geeze what a waste of a bagazillion dollars. Sort of like owning a 40 billion dollar barbie doll house except the Barbie is a really old short lady.

That's all for now.

This has been a test of the pointless emergency blogcast system. Thank you for your cooperation.

People That Shouldn't Have Won Acadamy Awards

5. Denzel Washington in Training Day. Total jip. Russel Crow for a Beautiful Mind should have won that night. It was Black History night so anyone that was not black didn't stand a Chance. Plus Crow was fresh off of one of his phone assaulting sprees and somewhere some poor gay hotel clerk was cheering Crow's defeat while holding a cold steak to his black eye. Yes Denzel is a GREAT actor and should have won for Malcolm X, but in this movie he played a cop/mobster and with the usual intensity and excellence that he has in every other movie. I liked his Crimson Tide performance better.

4. Halley Berry, monster's ball. One of my LEAST favorite actors. She practically ruined the X3 with almost every poorly acted word. So she stripped naked and practically got porn-jiggy with Billy Bob. To some people this might merit her the "Greatest actor/woman/human In the Universe Award" but there were three other women on the roster that night that were WAAAAAY better. Again, Black History night, except she is half white.

3. Gwyneth Paltrow. She did a good job as Shakespeare's Juliet inspiration but Kate Blanchett should have won, hands-down for her chilling and magnificent portrayal of Elizabeth. Kate can do anything. Gwyneth is good at acting pouty on screen and acting like she is common on "Inside the actor's studio" all-the-while reminding everyone in the room that she is better than them with every planned glance, but stick to the period chick-flicks. (I did like her in Talented Mr. Ripley, but again, Kate was better in that as well.)

2. Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. So everyone LOVED this depressing bit of film but me. Nick was good and I gotta love him but come on, Sean Penn in Dead Man Walking???? Should have won hands-down. Sean's performance was Brando-in-Streetcar good. Pacino-in-Godfather good. Hopkins-in-Silence-of-the-Lambs good. Just amazing. What a movie.

1. Everyone is going to hate me for this... AT FIRST. So yes, Hanks is awesome. I love him. Deserved every award and would have deserved the award if it weren't for a little performance by Morgan Freeman in a little known movie "Shawshank Redemption." In my book Freeman should have made Academy history that night. Shawshank is still one of my favorite movies. Gump however, gets a tad sappier every year. GENNAYYYY! Favorite hanks performance will always be in "Big" for me.

I Passed. Praise God. Finally.

No, not a kidney stone. I passed my exams. (although it was probably as painful as a kidney stone) I am a mere 2 small steps away from being Dr. Seth Ward.

Oh good lord does that sound old. It just looks weird. I think I'll make people call me Dr. Ward for at least a week. Maybe I'll put "Dr. Ward" on my underwear to make sure mine don't get mixed up in the laundry.

My mom used to put my name on my underwear to not mix them up with my dad's. However appreciative I was for my mom's efforts to help me to NEVER slip on a pair of my dad's underoos, it still made life a little hellish for the old gym class locker-room.

"Ha! Is that in case you get lost and some one needs to call mommy? Is your phone number on there and your favorite candy?"

That kind of stuff. All I could think to say was... "quit lookin' at my ass." But that didn't stop the tidal wave of ridicule. Lets just say I learned to put my pants on by practically thinking it. If I ever had a Napoleon Dynamite moment that one was it.

Anyway, enough about that. Ahem.

So thanks for your prayers and encouragement. The hardest part of my degree is over. Now all I have to do is write a mammoth orchestra piece and that is just fun. Got any good ideas for a theme? (I work well with themes)

I was thinking about making the compositional process of my orchestral work a part of this blog. Post the process of writing a work for orchestra the whole thematic development stuff.... Anyone interested in that or is it up there with listening to a running toilet?

Thanks again my friends.

Be More Human. Don't be a Floater.

I've been a floating Spirit. It sucks. My face buried in a bible, my body buried in the activities of the Church and my mind so preoccupied with heaven and how perfect I need to be that I don't do a damn bit of good on this Earth. It's weird how we can "feel" so spiritual but at the same time can't relate to a fellow believer, not to mention a fellow sinner. I think this comes from a false idea of what it means to be a Saint.

Saints aren't those lofty glowing figures painted on murals and on high ceilings. These figures that always seem to say the right thing for the right occasion and have the perfect judgment to pass upon the poor lowly sinners around them. His or her words are filled with the most edifying clichés, fitting the situation with the most devastating obviousness that it ruins the very thought of further dialogue. You know what I'm talking about...

Sinner: "Man, I really struggle with this sin..."

Floater: "Well you just need to put your trust in Jesus and it'll all be alright..."

Sinner: "Yeah.... (Awkward silence)"

Floater: "Well, do you know the Lord?"

Sinner: "Well, I thought I did until just now..."

This is the Saint in his most useless form. He's a floater, and the pun is very much intended. He doesn't stand a chance of feeling the slightest bit humanity or empathy. After all, isn't the formula for being Spiritual to deny our humanity? Is not Nature and Grace diametrically opposed?

Let me pause to answer this very clear, not just no but H-E double hockey sticks NO.

Before one can be a Saint, he must be a man or woman. Grace builds upon our nature and heals it, it doesn't destroy it. Not only where all the saints perfectly human, not only did their holiness enrich their humanity, but the Holiest of all the Saints, the Incarnate Word, Jesus Christ, was himself the most deeply and perfectly human being who ever lived on the face of the earth.

If we are to be perfect as Christ is perfect, we must strive to be perfectly human as he was, not just Spiritually perfect, in order that he may unite us with his WHOLE divine being and share with us his FULL sonship of the heavenly Father.

Being a Saint is not a matter of being LESS human, but a matter of being MORE human. It means having a greater capacity for compassion, humility, concern, suffering, but it also implies having a greater capacity for laughter, joy, understanding, passion, Love, and a sense of wonder for the beautiful things in life.

Jesus wasn't some lofty guy roaming around from city to city with an otherworldly gaze in his eye. I hate those movies. No, when he looked at you it would have gone straight to the core of not only you, but of Himself; a warmth of kindness and friendship that was and is irresistible. This is why his disciples would have given their lives for him and eventually did. This is why the spoke of him with not only reverence as Lord and God but with the tenderness of remembering the best friend that a man could ever have. One who you would never want to leave because it would break your heart. In America friendship has been nearly ruined. Men are afraid to have a close friend because everyone will think they are a homosexual. This is very sad. We have forgotten how powerful true friendship is. David and Jonathan wept bitterly at their parting. The disciples felt this, and Jesus did to at the tomb of Lazarus. We don't know how to be friends anymore, and this is tragic. A true friendship is eternal. It is the glimpse of our lives in heaven.

We need to be more. Flush the floater concept. Someday heaven will be filled with men, women and our older and mightier brethren the Angels. The greatest moments of Joy now, those times when you are laughing with your family and friends and briefly forget all the cares of the world, are mere glimpses of that future joy. That joy and 'feeling' life starts now. So, get your head out of the bible and engage. Take a look at your flesh, your passions and know that God has created them and that Holiness will come through the Spirit working in that flesh by the inner-working of Him in your "inner-being" so that the healing is done by the active Love itself, (i.e. you loving others and yourself) instead of your futile attempts at a violent suppression of your passions.

As Thomas Merton says so beautifully-

"Grace builds on nature not by suppressing instinct, but by healing and elevating it to a spiritual level."

And Jesus said it the best:

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."

Shake it Bill

"The aroused champion labeled "zany" caked an epileptic, disheartened elbow, buzzed a bedroom buzzer, hurried the majestic lonely moonbeam and vaulted the lower summit blushing. The lackluster and noiseless skim-milk puking, compromised the beached olympian. The obscene rant was laughable."

These are all words that Shakespeare invented. (Besides the articles and conjunctions)

Top 5 Worst Parable Starters...

We've all come up with a few doosies. We've certainly heard a few doosies. Max Lucado moments. Pastel parables. Kinkade Christ-filled encounters... Sometimes those stories, actually most these stories just don't work with me. Can't connect. There are people that are good at telling these little precious moments but most, I'm afraid are bad or just so smothered in cheese I need to drink a glass of metamucil after I read them. So I've decided to come up with the "top five worst ways to start your Christian Allegory." Feel free to add your own.

5. So last year, I had my very first barium enema...

4. I remember the time I opened the door to my grandma and grandpa's bedroom late one night...

3. Next week my wife and I are going to have this particular "rash" checked out...

2. I was brushing my teeth after vomiting the other night and... (This one is Amber's)

1. So... you just have to imagine the scenereo... There I was, in a leapord thong, swatting these blood-thirsty mesquitos...

ZZZZZZzzzzzzz

Started reading this book tonight. Then I stopped. Tried to read it again. When I woke up 39 minutes later, I couldn’t remember a better nap. It is now officially my new nap pill. Here's a sample.

"There are few circumstance among those which make up the present condition of human knowledge more unlike what might have been expected, or more significant of the backward state in which speculation on the most important subjects still lingers, than the little progress which has been made in the decis..... asl;dfkd " oh sorry dozed off there.... ahem, "which has been made in the decision of the controversy respecting the criterion of right and wrong."

Now, he is right and the subject matter is interesting, which is why I picked up this book. It's good to hear the other side of things sometimes. But sometimes I wonder what these guys must have been like in real life.

"Hey dad, tell me a story..."

"Okie dokie,son. Once upon a time there was the square root of 394534839 and it met a mizltofflebutialtormaximizingmifflestator ... ograph. I took the content of the fifth quadratic formula and antidisastablishmentaniarianism'ed it until the quadrant 23,9450 of quasar 39, Vector 3 supernova'd. The end."

What's the most boring book you've ever read? Or were forced to read?

About that Test

Hopefully, I am not boring the ever-living socks of you talking about all of this school crap. It’s just that it is about the only thing going on in my life right now as everything else is on hold, which is hard for me. VERY hard. I have 3 EXCITING things coming up that I CAN'T WAIT to get to and it is just about to kill me. Until then, I'm creativity non grata. (Didn’t really work but you know what I mean)

There were 7 major questions on this test spanning a period of about 2000 years of History. Meaning, they (the evil-test maker) could reach their hand into Pandora's Box and draw any question they want from all that time and you have to know the answer, citing composers, works, sociology, political climate, philosophy, science, math... (Music was affected and by all of these and in turn played a part in the development of them all.)

Of the 7 questions, the first one is the only one I am worried about. The question was: "Describe the 15th and 16th century Chanson, citing works, composers, and developments."

Now that sounds like the typical nerdola questions I've been spouting off here but it is one of the smallest and most insignificant genres of that period. I probably got a 50% on that question. I knew about it, read about it, but comparatively, it is small potatoes to the Madrigal, Motet, Mass, Opera, Gregorian Chant... all of which I could write BOOKS about right now. Conjuring up what I knew for that question felt like trying to see the furthest and dimmest galaxy in the night sky through a pair of cracker-jack binoculars... through a thin veil of clouds. Oh well. It’s a miracle that I remembered what I did.

The rest of the test I would grade myself as an A-. We will see what the prof.'s say.

I can't believe they picked the chanson. It would be like studying Genesis and asking you to talk about the color, grooming and bathing habits of Noah's pet poodle, the girl poodle. Kind of a low blow.

Suckers.

I Did It

Nope I'm not talking about the test. Yeah I did that too and did okay. I'm talking about -I broke down this afternoon and bought myself a BIG MAC BABY.

Sentiments: Heartburn.

Regrets: None.

Feeling Fatter? Yes. This picture is what I feel like. (btw about that picture... What in the firetruck where they thinking?)

Burping hot burning air as I type? Yes

Needing a Nap? extra-Yes-with chili cheese.

Going to eat another one? Heck no. (at least for another year.)

Where's the Zantac...

1st Test Tomorrow, 8:00 A.M.

Pray for me friends.

Possible Questions:

1. Outline and discuss the political and social differences between the Ars Nova and the Trecento. Discuss how these differnces effected the important musical genres of each.

2. Discuss the development of Opera from 16th to the Opera Reform of the 18th century.

Just typing these makes my hands sweat.

The Beauty of Bach

Try and forget all the billions of times you have heard this at weddings. Try to imagine this when it was fresh, and was straight from the soul of a composer the likes of whom Western Civilization has not seen since. He has toiled all week for a new Cantata, he brings in the parts, hands them to the boys choir, the instrumentalist, and after the Communion is observed, this Praise to God the Son echoes off the glorious stone and Marble walls of that German Church, filled to the brim with worshipers.

These words struck me today and brought me to tears. So listen and try to forget weddings, and think only of the one whom it exhalts. It may not be your thing, but what a great offering.



Jesus, joy of man's desiring
Holy wisdom, love most bright
Drawn by Thee, our souls aspiring
Soar to uncreated light
Word of God, our flesh that fashioned
With the fire of life impassioned
Striving still to truth unknown
Soaring, dying round Thy throne

It is well for me that I have Jesus
Steadfastly I cling to him
That he may refresh my spirit
When I am sad and sorrowful,
I have Jesus, he loves me
And gives himself for me;
Therefore I can never leave him,
Though my heart should break.

Dear Microsoft...

I am really interested in your new product. You see, I really don't like dependability. I am into that "hey, holy crap where did my important file go" thing. That seems like a really cool feature. Right now I have a Mac. I've had it for a year now and I haven't had to restart it cold yet. Not one single freeze. Honestly, that gets a bit old. I really admire your ability to put out products that are unpredictable and that suck. Please, please, make more. The world is in desperate need of spontaneity.

Again, thank you for all the fine, fine work you do.

p.s. Please come out with a phone that shocks my face when I put it to my ear. Mac has that new phone coming out and its bound to be so perfectly awesome and perfectly boring. All those cool features, wrapped into one...

Boring. Shock me baby. Or at least make it delete a few brain cells or something.

Music of the Spheres

The Greeks had it figured out. About music that is.

Music was thought to be born of the Gods. People thought music had magical powers. It was said to heal sickness, purify the body and mind and work miracles in the realm of nature. If you think about it that isn't to far off from the Old Testament story of David and Solomon when he played his harp and cured Saul's madness.

Music had a wider meaning for the Greeks. It was inseparable with numbers, which were thought to hold the key to the whole spiritual and physical universe. So when the sounds and rhythms were organized, it exemplified the harmony of the cosmos and corresponded to it. Plato expounded this theory in the Republic.

In fact, most of the important Greek thinkers associated it with the Cosmos. Mathematical laws corresponded both the underlying system of music and the stars and planets. Therefore, each planet was associated with different modes. Plato wrote of this correspondence in "The music of the Spheres" - the unheard music produced by the revolution of the planets.

It is interesting to note that as science progresses, scientists are discovering that everything has a "pitch” Even string theory supports this notion. The notion that all things are made of the tiniest of tiny 'strings' that vibrate and, in a way, form a kind of harmony, creating structure to all matter.

Recently, the universe was said to have the pitch of a Bb.

Kenny G Church. I'm SO There.

"The new Kenny G church is really causing a ruckus in the Christian Subculture. Apparently the worship band dresses up like Kenny G and his band and only do popular Kenny G songs to lift their their praises in a spree of tender soft rock glossolalia. 'The song "Sade" has never sounded so spirit-filled.' One new member remarked. Another notes, 'If it weren't for the Kenny G church, I wouldn't even be in church at all. The Gospel just makes so much sense when I can see and hear it in curls.' The lead player has a curly hair wig and the rest of the band are wearing Aviators and Berets. This new KG church is projecting 200% growth in the first quarter alone. Get in while you can!!!! The WWKGD bracelets are going fast people."

In all honesty, I really wish there would be an Elton Church or a Beatles Church. Hey, Levon talks about Jesus right?

Yeah, an Elton Church would kick some serious booty. "Goodbye Beelzebub, though I never knew you at all..."

(ht: Andrew Osenga's blog on the U2 Church.)