My Wife

My Wife is amazing. That is all there is to it. I have no clue how she is able to handle me or why she married me. I can be so confusing at times. I am A.D.D. of the charts, I am dyslexic so she is constantly proofreading my papers and essays, I can be a real slob, (at any random time there could be 4 coffee cups all over our apartment,) AND she married a dreamer. A BIG dreamer. It takes a special person to be married to one of those crazies. Just like it takes a special mom to raise a disabled child. (That is not meant as a joke!)

For the past 3 days she has done nothing but encourage and help me, full time, to pursue my dreams. Your spouse, more than anyone else should be the presence of Christ in your life. She is always that in some way or another, but many times I think spouses miss this part that she gets. They forget that the other has dreams. They are passionate. Amber takes the time to ask me what they are, she challenges me, lifts me up, and pushes me towards those passions and to fearlessly follow the Lord in what ever desire or dream He puts in my heart. While other people want to discourage me or tell me "you know, God doesn't always give you what you want" she is telling me it is still okay to risk the rejection, the hurt and to go ahead and ask or go for it. As a matter of fact it is better to ask and pursue, taking the chance of failure, than to sit and do nothing.

I could talk about her all day.

Plus she is totally HOT.

What a woman.

Help Me Get to Know Spielberg...

FOX network is doing a new reality show. This one is REEAAALLLLY cool. Its called "On the Lot” One of the creators of this show is the great Steven Spielberg. The purpose is to find 16 amateur filmmakers from around the world for participation in a filmmaker reality show. Basically a Film American Idol kind of thing. The last day to submit, upload or postmark your film was day before yesterday and I made it in the knick of time. At the end the competition the director will be awarded a million dollar development deal with DreamWorks.

I have entered this competition with a short film I did a few years back. It is a short "art" film and it is a silent film. Before the film they ask that we add a little intro about ourselves so that's on there too.

Here is where YOU come in and help your old buddy. The producers of the show are LETTING VIEWERS RATE the submitted films and THIS WILL PLAY A PART IN THE CHOOSING OF THE 16.

What would be AWESOME is if you all, my friends and compadres, would go to this site, take one minute to register and then give my film a rating and or a review. I would love to hear your input!!!! Please go review it. It will only take a second.

Also, if you feel so inclined, you have my permission to tell as many people as you want, AND if you are hard up for a blog topic, fire away with this one!!!

A reminder: This is a low budget, (0$) short "art" film. I shot it with one camera and a Mac with imovie. So don't expect the Matrix or Indy Jones. Also, if you right a review, there is no need to let on that you know me in the review. It will be more credible if you don't say "see you at church" or "you are the best teacher!" Although these things are flattering and I really LOVE seeing you at church, or teaching you theory, ear training or Guitar lessons, I imagine they won't take you too seriously. So, that being said, feel free to be honest. Go ahead and leave 5 out of 5, or even 4 out of 5... you could even score 3 out of 5... ... If you decided 2 or less out of five may a curse fall upon you and your animals.

Lastly, I scored the film as well. Hope you enjoy!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH, RATE AND REVIEW MY FILM.. PLEAAASE!!!!!

Be More, recap.

Be more. I know I have already blogged about this but I feel the need to summarize and reiterate. Be more. A Christian should feel deeper love, compassion, passion, desire, joy, and sorrow. In short, they should be more like a child. Not a child in the way that they lack wisdom, "childish" but in that there is a sense of wonder and amazement. Every saint should stand in the presence and know that the Spirit flows through them so magnificently that there could be no more or less. We simply pull back the curtain the more we seek Him and live to the fullest.

Stop looking behind you at mistakes or could-have would-haves in the past. Look forward to every day that is a brilliant and love-blinding gift. Engage in what is ahead. Regret or wishing you could have done something in the past, is delighting in that thing that you didn't do or that regret. When you do this you needlessly torture yourself. Delight in the Lord, in the here and now, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Ask God to help you 'feel' today and 'see' today how He sees. Soak it all in, because when you do, you are soaking in Him as well. He is in it all, and holds it together. He thinks that it is good and we should as well. He made it for us.

Soak it up people!

My Humps.

I just wanted to have a blog title with that name. Nothing really relating to that here. I've always though that it was just such a hilarious name for a song. I think I'll right a song titled "My Bulge." Yeah, that'll sell a million. Maybe I can right a hip hop ballet and call it "My Bulge."

Okay, that's about enough of that. No more mental images, PLEASE Lord. Soooooo. How's it going. Really? That bad huh? Well that will usually clear up in 3 to 4 weeks.

This is a test. This is a test of the needlessy posting blogcast system. This only a test.

Did you know that you can spell favorite in Britain with a "u". Favourite. Sorta pointless if you ask me. Come on. Jump on the bandwagon here and just drop the "U" why don't ya. Kinda like that King and Queen bit you've got going on over there. Geeze what a waste of a bagazillion dollars. Sort of like owning a 40 billion dollar barbie doll house except the Barbie is a really old short lady.

That's all for now.

This has been a test of the pointless emergency blogcast system. Thank you for your cooperation.

People That Shouldn't Have Won Acadamy Awards

5. Denzel Washington in Training Day. Total jip. Russel Crow for a Beautiful Mind should have won that night. It was Black History night so anyone that was not black didn't stand a Chance. Plus Crow was fresh off of one of his phone assaulting sprees and somewhere some poor gay hotel clerk was cheering Crow's defeat while holding a cold steak to his black eye. Yes Denzel is a GREAT actor and should have won for Malcolm X, but in this movie he played a cop/mobster and with the usual intensity and excellence that he has in every other movie. I liked his Crimson Tide performance better.

4. Halley Berry, monster's ball. One of my LEAST favorite actors. She practically ruined the X3 with almost every poorly acted word. So she stripped naked and practically got porn-jiggy with Billy Bob. To some people this might merit her the "Greatest actor/woman/human In the Universe Award" but there were three other women on the roster that night that were WAAAAAY better. Again, Black History night, except she is half white.

3. Gwyneth Paltrow. She did a good job as Shakespeare's Juliet inspiration but Kate Blanchett should have won, hands-down for her chilling and magnificent portrayal of Elizabeth. Kate can do anything. Gwyneth is good at acting pouty on screen and acting like she is common on "Inside the actor's studio" all-the-while reminding everyone in the room that she is better than them with every planned glance, but stick to the period chick-flicks. (I did like her in Talented Mr. Ripley, but again, Kate was better in that as well.)

2. Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. So everyone LOVED this depressing bit of film but me. Nick was good and I gotta love him but come on, Sean Penn in Dead Man Walking???? Should have won hands-down. Sean's performance was Brando-in-Streetcar good. Pacino-in-Godfather good. Hopkins-in-Silence-of-the-Lambs good. Just amazing. What a movie.

1. Everyone is going to hate me for this... AT FIRST. So yes, Hanks is awesome. I love him. Deserved every award and would have deserved the award if it weren't for a little performance by Morgan Freeman in a little known movie "Shawshank Redemption." In my book Freeman should have made Academy history that night. Shawshank is still one of my favorite movies. Gump however, gets a tad sappier every year. GENNAYYYY! Favorite hanks performance will always be in "Big" for me.

I Passed. Praise God. Finally.

No, not a kidney stone. I passed my exams. (although it was probably as painful as a kidney stone) I am a mere 2 small steps away from being Dr. Seth Ward.

Oh good lord does that sound old. It just looks weird. I think I'll make people call me Dr. Ward for at least a week. Maybe I'll put "Dr. Ward" on my underwear to make sure mine don't get mixed up in the laundry.

My mom used to put my name on my underwear to not mix them up with my dad's. However appreciative I was for my mom's efforts to help me to NEVER slip on a pair of my dad's underoos, it still made life a little hellish for the old gym class locker-room.

"Ha! Is that in case you get lost and some one needs to call mommy? Is your phone number on there and your favorite candy?"

That kind of stuff. All I could think to say was... "quit lookin' at my ass." But that didn't stop the tidal wave of ridicule. Lets just say I learned to put my pants on by practically thinking it. If I ever had a Napoleon Dynamite moment that one was it.

Anyway, enough about that. Ahem.

So thanks for your prayers and encouragement. The hardest part of my degree is over. Now all I have to do is write a mammoth orchestra piece and that is just fun. Got any good ideas for a theme? (I work well with themes)

I was thinking about making the compositional process of my orchestral work a part of this blog. Post the process of writing a work for orchestra the whole thematic development stuff.... Anyone interested in that or is it up there with listening to a running toilet?

Thanks again my friends.

Be More Human. Don't be a Floater.

I've been a floating Spirit. It sucks. My face buried in a bible, my body buried in the activities of the Church and my mind so preoccupied with heaven and how perfect I need to be that I don't do a damn bit of good on this Earth. It's weird how we can "feel" so spiritual but at the same time can't relate to a fellow believer, not to mention a fellow sinner. I think this comes from a false idea of what it means to be a Saint.

Saints aren't those lofty glowing figures painted on murals and on high ceilings. These figures that always seem to say the right thing for the right occasion and have the perfect judgment to pass upon the poor lowly sinners around them. His or her words are filled with the most edifying clichés, fitting the situation with the most devastating obviousness that it ruins the very thought of further dialogue. You know what I'm talking about...

Sinner: "Man, I really struggle with this sin..."

Floater: "Well you just need to put your trust in Jesus and it'll all be alright..."

Sinner: "Yeah.... (Awkward silence)"

Floater: "Well, do you know the Lord?"

Sinner: "Well, I thought I did until just now..."

This is the Saint in his most useless form. He's a floater, and the pun is very much intended. He doesn't stand a chance of feeling the slightest bit humanity or empathy. After all, isn't the formula for being Spiritual to deny our humanity? Is not Nature and Grace diametrically opposed?

Let me pause to answer this very clear, not just no but H-E double hockey sticks NO.

Before one can be a Saint, he must be a man or woman. Grace builds upon our nature and heals it, it doesn't destroy it. Not only where all the saints perfectly human, not only did their holiness enrich their humanity, but the Holiest of all the Saints, the Incarnate Word, Jesus Christ, was himself the most deeply and perfectly human being who ever lived on the face of the earth.

If we are to be perfect as Christ is perfect, we must strive to be perfectly human as he was, not just Spiritually perfect, in order that he may unite us with his WHOLE divine being and share with us his FULL sonship of the heavenly Father.

Being a Saint is not a matter of being LESS human, but a matter of being MORE human. It means having a greater capacity for compassion, humility, concern, suffering, but it also implies having a greater capacity for laughter, joy, understanding, passion, Love, and a sense of wonder for the beautiful things in life.

Jesus wasn't some lofty guy roaming around from city to city with an otherworldly gaze in his eye. I hate those movies. No, when he looked at you it would have gone straight to the core of not only you, but of Himself; a warmth of kindness and friendship that was and is irresistible. This is why his disciples would have given their lives for him and eventually did. This is why the spoke of him with not only reverence as Lord and God but with the tenderness of remembering the best friend that a man could ever have. One who you would never want to leave because it would break your heart. In America friendship has been nearly ruined. Men are afraid to have a close friend because everyone will think they are a homosexual. This is very sad. We have forgotten how powerful true friendship is. David and Jonathan wept bitterly at their parting. The disciples felt this, and Jesus did to at the tomb of Lazarus. We don't know how to be friends anymore, and this is tragic. A true friendship is eternal. It is the glimpse of our lives in heaven.

We need to be more. Flush the floater concept. Someday heaven will be filled with men, women and our older and mightier brethren the Angels. The greatest moments of Joy now, those times when you are laughing with your family and friends and briefly forget all the cares of the world, are mere glimpses of that future joy. That joy and 'feeling' life starts now. So, get your head out of the bible and engage. Take a look at your flesh, your passions and know that God has created them and that Holiness will come through the Spirit working in that flesh by the inner-working of Him in your "inner-being" so that the healing is done by the active Love itself, (i.e. you loving others and yourself) instead of your futile attempts at a violent suppression of your passions.

As Thomas Merton says so beautifully-

"Grace builds on nature not by suppressing instinct, but by healing and elevating it to a spiritual level."

And Jesus said it the best:

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."

Shake it Bill

"The aroused champion labeled "zany" caked an epileptic, disheartened elbow, buzzed a bedroom buzzer, hurried the majestic lonely moonbeam and vaulted the lower summit blushing. The lackluster and noiseless skim-milk puking, compromised the beached olympian. The obscene rant was laughable."

These are all words that Shakespeare invented. (Besides the articles and conjunctions)

Top 5 Worst Parable Starters...

We've all come up with a few doosies. We've certainly heard a few doosies. Max Lucado moments. Pastel parables. Kinkade Christ-filled encounters... Sometimes those stories, actually most these stories just don't work with me. Can't connect. There are people that are good at telling these little precious moments but most, I'm afraid are bad or just so smothered in cheese I need to drink a glass of metamucil after I read them. So I've decided to come up with the "top five worst ways to start your Christian Allegory." Feel free to add your own.

5. So last year, I had my very first barium enema...

4. I remember the time I opened the door to my grandma and grandpa's bedroom late one night...

3. Next week my wife and I are going to have this particular "rash" checked out...

2. I was brushing my teeth after vomiting the other night and... (This one is Amber's)

1. So... you just have to imagine the scenereo... There I was, in a leapord thong, swatting these blood-thirsty mesquitos...

ZZZZZZzzzzzzz

Started reading this book tonight. Then I stopped. Tried to read it again. When I woke up 39 minutes later, I couldn’t remember a better nap. It is now officially my new nap pill. Here's a sample.

"There are few circumstance among those which make up the present condition of human knowledge more unlike what might have been expected, or more significant of the backward state in which speculation on the most important subjects still lingers, than the little progress which has been made in the decis..... asl;dfkd " oh sorry dozed off there.... ahem, "which has been made in the decision of the controversy respecting the criterion of right and wrong."

Now, he is right and the subject matter is interesting, which is why I picked up this book. It's good to hear the other side of things sometimes. But sometimes I wonder what these guys must have been like in real life.

"Hey dad, tell me a story..."

"Okie dokie,son. Once upon a time there was the square root of 394534839 and it met a mizltofflebutialtormaximizingmifflestator ... ograph. I took the content of the fifth quadratic formula and antidisastablishmentaniarianism'ed it until the quadrant 23,9450 of quasar 39, Vector 3 supernova'd. The end."

What's the most boring book you've ever read? Or were forced to read?

About that Test

Hopefully, I am not boring the ever-living socks of you talking about all of this school crap. It’s just that it is about the only thing going on in my life right now as everything else is on hold, which is hard for me. VERY hard. I have 3 EXCITING things coming up that I CAN'T WAIT to get to and it is just about to kill me. Until then, I'm creativity non grata. (Didn’t really work but you know what I mean)

There were 7 major questions on this test spanning a period of about 2000 years of History. Meaning, they (the evil-test maker) could reach their hand into Pandora's Box and draw any question they want from all that time and you have to know the answer, citing composers, works, sociology, political climate, philosophy, science, math... (Music was affected and by all of these and in turn played a part in the development of them all.)

Of the 7 questions, the first one is the only one I am worried about. The question was: "Describe the 15th and 16th century Chanson, citing works, composers, and developments."

Now that sounds like the typical nerdola questions I've been spouting off here but it is one of the smallest and most insignificant genres of that period. I probably got a 50% on that question. I knew about it, read about it, but comparatively, it is small potatoes to the Madrigal, Motet, Mass, Opera, Gregorian Chant... all of which I could write BOOKS about right now. Conjuring up what I knew for that question felt like trying to see the furthest and dimmest galaxy in the night sky through a pair of cracker-jack binoculars... through a thin veil of clouds. Oh well. It’s a miracle that I remembered what I did.

The rest of the test I would grade myself as an A-. We will see what the prof.'s say.

I can't believe they picked the chanson. It would be like studying Genesis and asking you to talk about the color, grooming and bathing habits of Noah's pet poodle, the girl poodle. Kind of a low blow.

Suckers.

I Did It

Nope I'm not talking about the test. Yeah I did that too and did okay. I'm talking about -I broke down this afternoon and bought myself a BIG MAC BABY.

Sentiments: Heartburn.

Regrets: None.

Feeling Fatter? Yes. This picture is what I feel like. (btw about that picture... What in the firetruck where they thinking?)

Burping hot burning air as I type? Yes

Needing a Nap? extra-Yes-with chili cheese.

Going to eat another one? Heck no. (at least for another year.)

Where's the Zantac...

1st Test Tomorrow, 8:00 A.M.

Pray for me friends.

Possible Questions:

1. Outline and discuss the political and social differences between the Ars Nova and the Trecento. Discuss how these differnces effected the important musical genres of each.

2. Discuss the development of Opera from 16th to the Opera Reform of the 18th century.

Just typing these makes my hands sweat.

The Beauty of Bach

Try and forget all the billions of times you have heard this at weddings. Try to imagine this when it was fresh, and was straight from the soul of a composer the likes of whom Western Civilization has not seen since. He has toiled all week for a new Cantata, he brings in the parts, hands them to the boys choir, the instrumentalist, and after the Communion is observed, this Praise to God the Son echoes off the glorious stone and Marble walls of that German Church, filled to the brim with worshipers.

These words struck me today and brought me to tears. So listen and try to forget weddings, and think only of the one whom it exhalts. It may not be your thing, but what a great offering.



Jesus, joy of man's desiring
Holy wisdom, love most bright
Drawn by Thee, our souls aspiring
Soar to uncreated light
Word of God, our flesh that fashioned
With the fire of life impassioned
Striving still to truth unknown
Soaring, dying round Thy throne

It is well for me that I have Jesus
Steadfastly I cling to him
That he may refresh my spirit
When I am sad and sorrowful,
I have Jesus, he loves me
And gives himself for me;
Therefore I can never leave him,
Though my heart should break.

Dear Microsoft...

I am really interested in your new product. You see, I really don't like dependability. I am into that "hey, holy crap where did my important file go" thing. That seems like a really cool feature. Right now I have a Mac. I've had it for a year now and I haven't had to restart it cold yet. Not one single freeze. Honestly, that gets a bit old. I really admire your ability to put out products that are unpredictable and that suck. Please, please, make more. The world is in desperate need of spontaneity.

Again, thank you for all the fine, fine work you do.

p.s. Please come out with a phone that shocks my face when I put it to my ear. Mac has that new phone coming out and its bound to be so perfectly awesome and perfectly boring. All those cool features, wrapped into one...

Boring. Shock me baby. Or at least make it delete a few brain cells or something.

Music of the Spheres

The Greeks had it figured out. About music that is.

Music was thought to be born of the Gods. People thought music had magical powers. It was said to heal sickness, purify the body and mind and work miracles in the realm of nature. If you think about it that isn't to far off from the Old Testament story of David and Solomon when he played his harp and cured Saul's madness.

Music had a wider meaning for the Greeks. It was inseparable with numbers, which were thought to hold the key to the whole spiritual and physical universe. So when the sounds and rhythms were organized, it exemplified the harmony of the cosmos and corresponded to it. Plato expounded this theory in the Republic.

In fact, most of the important Greek thinkers associated it with the Cosmos. Mathematical laws corresponded both the underlying system of music and the stars and planets. Therefore, each planet was associated with different modes. Plato wrote of this correspondence in "The music of the Spheres" - the unheard music produced by the revolution of the planets.

It is interesting to note that as science progresses, scientists are discovering that everything has a "pitch” Even string theory supports this notion. The notion that all things are made of the tiniest of tiny 'strings' that vibrate and, in a way, form a kind of harmony, creating structure to all matter.

Recently, the universe was said to have the pitch of a Bb.

Kenny G Church. I'm SO There.

"The new Kenny G church is really causing a ruckus in the Christian Subculture. Apparently the worship band dresses up like Kenny G and his band and only do popular Kenny G songs to lift their their praises in a spree of tender soft rock glossolalia. 'The song "Sade" has never sounded so spirit-filled.' One new member remarked. Another notes, 'If it weren't for the Kenny G church, I wouldn't even be in church at all. The Gospel just makes so much sense when I can see and hear it in curls.' The lead player has a curly hair wig and the rest of the band are wearing Aviators and Berets. This new KG church is projecting 200% growth in the first quarter alone. Get in while you can!!!! The WWKGD bracelets are going fast people."

In all honesty, I really wish there would be an Elton Church or a Beatles Church. Hey, Levon talks about Jesus right?

Yeah, an Elton Church would kick some serious booty. "Goodbye Beelzebub, though I never knew you at all..."

(ht: Andrew Osenga's blog on the U2 Church.)

Beat the Movie Mafia

Tell your wife to get out the big purse. Drop by Kroger and snag the 1-dollar bag of Milk Duds. Grab a couple of bottles of Coke from the Kroger handy fridge while you are at it. Grand total so far: 3 Dollars. Then go home and pop a bag of Kettle Corn. Put it in a couple of Ziploc Bags. VOILA!

You've saved yourself darn near 20 dollars off a 4-dollar investment. AND you have the pleasure of smirking at the Crooks running the concession stand as you pass by. (Plus you feel a little sneaky)

Now some of you here are like..."Duh" But for some of you that are pure as the driven snow and wouldn't ever think of ways to beat that little highway robbery thing they've got going on there, hopefully these tips will save a buck or two.

I love movies and the more money you have, the more movies you see.

Any other good techniques?

Up Late Studying

Here are some random music facts that you may or may not find interesting. Share my pain.

1. Opera finds it roots in the Medieval and Renaissance Madrigal. ZZZZZzzzzz

2. The Motet (religious Choral work) finds its origins in Substitute Clausula. See, those chant composers liked to write little closing things at the end of a long haunting chant. A little improv. to polish it off. Those little improv. sections got bigger and bigger, with more and more notes added. Composers started exchanging those parts of the Chant renaming them "Substitute Clausula" Later they just axed the Chant's involvement altogether and gave them new words of their own. The Motet was born.

3. Composers liked to slip melodies into their liturgical masses that were dirty secular songs. It would be like me writing a choral work for the local Baptist choir and slipping in "To the Wall" or "I've got Hoes in Different Area Codes" into the flute line. They thought it was funny but when the Pope found out about it he was pretty ticked. If it weren’t' for Palestrina, polyphony would have been cut altogether and it would have been back to chant.

4. Schubert liked little boys. And I don't mean Captain Kangaroo liked em' I mean... glitter-glove liked em’

5. Wagner was an anti-Semitic and a wife thief.

6. Chopin died of TB, loved Mozart while Beethoven Scared him. -Wuss.

7. Tchaikovsky liked dudes. Thus the numerous ballets, or as I like to call them, "gross, cover-your-bulge-please fests." Or as Tchaikovsky simply called them, "Heaven"

And then there Was Richter...

Sviatoslav Richter "Chopin Etude" (the fastest on record btw)

However, Richter was Horowitz's only REAL competition at the time. To Horowitz's advantage, Richter wasn't allowed out of the Soviet Union for fear that he might defect. Horowitz had long since defected before the war and was raising money for troops with an arrangement of Stars and Stripes that would bring the house down.

Horowitz respected Richter and Richter was the only pianist that Horowitz would admit was good, but Richter had a mighty big dollop of jealousy for Horowitz and said that Horowitz played like a Clown.

There rivalry was well known and there were 'camps' who claimed the other was better.

In Search of the Perfect Grilled Chicken Sandwich

McDonalds - C-
Nasty

Chick fil A - C+
Not quite as Nasty because it's Chick Fil A. Basically bland and boring.

Wendy's - D
Tastes like Leather.

Burger King - F
Even though it's Grilled, I have a feeling that it's a trojan horse for fat.

Sonic - B
Hit and miss. Sometimes it's okay, then there have been times when I have almost yacked.

Whataburger - A
Every single time I have tried it I have almost had a wreck because it is so good. (w/o cheese)

New Tune (Partial)

So on the drawing board is a new tune. 'Kyrie' I have decided to use all of those talented students at Rice to help me with recording this project. For free. By the time it is done it may sound nothing like this. But what the hey.


I love the Mass. It is ancient. It is an adoration of our Lord.

Thanks to Kat for the ijigg intro. Pretty stinkin' cool.

Get out of Purgatory Free!

Go buy this. There are at least 200 of my church people that read this blog every day or so. This is your pastor's son-in-law. Which means you could win MAJOR purgatory points for you or your loved ones.

P.S. Send me 10,000 dollars.

So this has turned into an interesting discussion on Purgatory so I have amended the post a bit. Please join. Much is being learned and said. Come on in and join the Catholic/Protestant dialogue and learn a thing or two, or maybe teach a thing or two. Here are a few excerpts.

Sussane: "I don't have a problem with any other Christian believing in Purgatory...I'm not offended or anything...I just don't personally believe in it since Scripture doesn't come right out and say anything about it that I'm aware of. Scripture is indeed ambiguous about many things, though, and only God knows everything that happens to our souls after death..."

Doug: "The idea of a final purification before the resurrection is a very ancient one, and orthodox Jews pray for the dead to this day. As Scripture says, "He also took up a collection, man by man, to the amount of two thousand drachmas of silver, and sent it to Jerusalem to provide for a sin offering. In doing this he acted very well and honorably, taking account of the resurrection. *For if he were not expecting that those who had fallen would rise again, it would have been superfluous and foolish to pray for the dead.*" 2 Macc 12:43-44 "

Not toooooooo Shabby

I actually like this drink and I think you should try it. After you try it please send me 10,000 dollars. (Just felt like giving that last part a go.) Amber thinks it tastes like butt. My clever response is of course... "Really? pleeeease. Butt doesn't taste anything like that." Yes, yes, I am a witty, witty man.

So, if you are tired of drinking cherry Robitussen and sprite (red bull), and you enjoy coffee and Coca Cola like moi, give this drink a go. Only 45 calories and its not even a diet drink. I brought it into class today and one of my students said that her dad designed the bottle or works with the guy who designs the bottle... or something. I told her that I could care less and to speak only when spoken to. No, I told her that was cool and that it must be nice to live in a mansion built with the money from a clever coke bottle design.

On a side note: I am really surprised that the church has not started manufacturing its own coffee or energy drinks. One can only imagine the advertising for such a thing. It might even surpass "This blood's for you" in ingenious wordplay.

Chance pt. 2

So if you have done any science/religion apologetics at all, you have heard something like the post below or this comment. "If the earth were only such and such closer to the sun then we would burn up, and if we were only such and such farther away we would freeze, another proof of God." Although awe-inspiring, I don't think that is good enough for the mature Christian to build his or her faith upon. I think you just might meet someone who has a few other questions about this "Set-up job by a Perfect and Loving God"

Here is just one of many questions for you to throw around this week that you might hear from an Atheist about this kind of faith/science statement.

"So what about Skin Cancer? For a perfectly positioned planet, that doesn't seem to be that perfect. Ice Ages? Global Warming?"

Chance pt. 1

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Science is working on a way to see beyond the Big Bang. Exciting stuff. Some believe to have found a theory that can actually tell us how things appear out of nothing. Some Atheists are jumping for joy. However, they still can't seem to figure out where the pre-existing laws come from that govern that random event or WHY they are there at all.

The "God of the Gaps" always seems to be one step ahead.

Check This Girl Out.

AKIANE


Pretty breathtaking. Granted, some look a little like paintings you see walking into ... well, you know where, but the girl is 12 and some on the special were painted when she was 9. I think at 9 I mastered Pitfall 2.

Meet my Grandpa Earl

Just check out this picture would you. Talk about a mixture of hilarity, awesome-ness, manliness, poop-kickin', John Wayne-ness. They don't make men like this anymore. Mostly because the environment that would make a man like this is long gone. The Depression, WWII, open ranges, prosperous small farmers, 400 pound belt buckles, 30 gallon hats, and the Golden era of country music...

Grandpa History

My grandpa had a knack for business. Some people said he had the Midas touch. At one point he and my dad made the newspapers as owning and operating the most prosperous Dairy Farm, or something like that, in the State of Oklahoma. That all changed of course when Nixon put the freeze on milk prices in the 70's and bankrupt most small dairy-farmers. What a GREAT president Richard Nixon was.

More than a businessman, my Grandpdad was a frustrated artist. He wrote over 200 songs, 4 unpublished books and a myriad of short poems and essays. However, none of this stuff saw the light of day until the 70's when he decided to take the money he had earned and begin to pursue his true passion, music. He cut an EP. He started landing engagements almost instantly and then tragically, within months of the records release, he got Cancer. This ended his music career as soon as it started. He wrote stories and songs up to three to four days from his death.

His music is reminiscent of bygone years of Hank Williams, mixed with the flare of western swing in the 70's. I'm not sure if he would have ever hit it big, but it sure is fun to listen to. Sometimes we all get around the fire at Christmas and sing some of this tune and have a ball. Someday, if I leave my family anything besides a mountain of student loan debt, I hope they have at least one tune of mine that they like to get around the fire and sing.

Click Here and listen to his song "Teasin Lady" (it takes a second or two to start) However, beware. Like the song or not you might be singing the chorus for a few days. From the first notes of the song, it is hard not to smile, laugh your butt off, crack up... One thing is for sure, it is hard to stop listening. Almost a Jimmy Buffet effect. I flippin' love it.

Chorus

Well they called her teasin' Lady
Teasin' lady of the night
oh yes they all gave her a whirl and tried to change that teasing girl
from wrong to right

But she remained a teasin Lady,
and I guess she always would
well she tried to rearrange her love-life
it just wouldn't change cause teasin's
all she understood... (steel guitar interlude)

Tomlin's Labyrinth

Saw Pan's Labyrinth tonight. Terrific movie. A tad high on the holy-crap-that-was-violent-and-didn't-see-that-coming scale, but it was cool nonetheless. I think he (the director) should have spent a little more time in the fantasy world. She (the little girl... watch the preview) basically showed up, ate a couple of grapes and got chased by what looked like an old man, skinned and eyeball-less. For some reason I just craved more from that world. Not the naked old skinnless man but more of the fantasy stuff. Oh well. All in all, the film was exceptional.

The film aside, I saw and heard something tonight that bothered me. I have been trying to figure out why it bothered me since. There was this preview to the film about an up-and-coming film around the story behind the hymn, Amazing Grace. In the beginning of the trailer we are greeted with none other than the one and only Chris Tomlin singing Amazing Grace.

I can't help but tell you that for some reason, I felt violated. I squirmed in my seat. It was the last thing I thought I would hear that night and to be honest, it was the last thing I wanted to hear. Nothing against Tomlin, it’s just... I can't seem to get away from the guy. I realized that I don't go to the movies anymore so much to escape my woes, but to escape pop-culture-Christianity. Then I realized that I am a small part of that. It just irritated the snot outta me and I can't seem to get over it.

Help me out here.

Prayin in the Big House

My pastor has started a Wednesday night prayer meeting. A good ole-fashioned, lets get together, call out prayer requests, prayer meeting. I gotta tell you. I have missed that. It may sound strange that it is such a novelty for a church to have a prayer meeting but in Larger churches, it happens less than you think. Oh, there are prayer groups, prayer classes, prayer in front of church, prayer in pastoral offices, prayer over the phone... But how many times, for those of you in big churches, have you all met for the simple purpose of prayer? Well we did and it was something else.

No big spectacular winds came down from heaven, thrusting us into emotional ecstasy. No one fell over in the isles laughing. There were just honest people, giving thanks and offering prayer for each other. Only one word can come to mind to describe this event.

Clarity.

Every thing just seemed so clear. That, in my opinion is what the Holy Spirit brings. Clarity. I use that word cautiously. It wasn't like I was seeing something I had never seen before, it was more like being with the same people and noticing something that had been there all along. We were people of one faith, one hope, one baptism, one Spirt, one Lord and one Father of all, vulnerable and talking to the Father - together.

I think we forget that Spirit does not equal emotions. Prayer doesn't cause goosebumps. Spiritual things work regardless of our emotions, our stage of life, our ups and downs, it moves regardless if it 'feels' true or not. In the best moments of prayer you are in line with the teaching of the church for the past 2000 years. You find yourself saying something and then reading the same thing in C.S. Lewis three days later.

It is beautiful that the Church is always praying. Somewhere around the world at all times, someone, or some congregation is offering prayers. God asks the body to pray without ceasing and thank God that it is. So we played our little part in that offering the other night.

-Talking to God in a setting and tradition that has been going on without ceasing for the past 2000 years.

Pretty Humbling and powerful stuff.

Spirit to Spirit

What is the difference between a Good Work and a Christian act of Charity?

This has always been a hard question for me.

First,

Everyone is capable of doing 'good.' We are born with this capability. God did not abandon us totally. We are bent towards doing things that are not God's intent, i.e. sin, but we are also capable of love, kindness, and all of us have a hard-wired yearning to know God. All of us. This is because we are all made in His Image and ability to know He exists at all is because he put a little of Himself in us. This is actually revelation in simplicity. God knowing himself in us and us knowing Him through Him being in us. God does it all. We just say yes to tapping into that. This is how the Spirit Himself is able to intercede on our behalf for things we do not know that we need. And this alone tells us that we are not totally evil. We are not born Devils from Hell.

So a man, by his own will can do a good work. This work is good because it is still a remnant of the good God had intended for us but it is still different from Christian Charity in that it works primarily in one dimension. Flesh. Again, that is not say flesh is bad. God created it, and chose to inhabit it, and then die for it. To say that flesh is all evil then you are saying God is evil.

So, if a man does a good work for his brother then it is indeed a good work. That work pays the bills and it puts food on the table and the giver and receiver receives a good feeling from those things. -All still in the realm of the flesh.

A Christian Charity works in both worlds. It does all that the flesh work accomplishes while accomplishing things that are also unseen. Sometimes violently. To love someone as you love Christ, as Christ loves, is loving spirit TO spirit. Your Spirit reaches out to their Spirit and feeds them. It is a mysterious and powerful thing. The effect of the monetary gift of goodness may be long lasting; the effect of the gift given in flesh AND spirit through Christ is eternal. This is why we are to love our Enemies. This is why we are to love others as you Love Christ. You are the vessel for Christ Himself to love. And when He loves, He tends to change things.

Thoughts?

Bite the Dust

So, I was watching a bit of the Exorcist after I left a comment over at Brant's and... it got me thinking...

Sort of one of those, "ultimate fight" questions I guess.

So here goes:

If one of your relatives happen to become the unfortunate host of a ... demon.... who would you call?

1. Bob Larson 2. A Priest 3. Local Pastor 4. Benny Hinn 5. Carman


Who ya gonna call... (if you have someone else not mentioned on this list, then feel free.)

Chill

I am tired of criticizing. "Blah blah blah blah. Everybody sucks. Nothing is right. Christian radio this, Christian bookstore that, the Church this the Church that. Blah blah blah blah-didy blah ppthhhhhh." I get so tired of hearing my voice I could puke. "Me me me me me me everybody listen to me. I'm pissed about this, ticked about that. BLAH DIDDY BLAH BLAH BLAH. Jesus wasn't a rich White Protestant and wasn't a Republican... and he didn't drive a fancy car..."

No, I think it is time to stop my carping and soak in some beauty. At least for a day or two.

I think the next time I get tempted to start barking like a little Dishrag pooch about something I am going to go pick up my Bible and read a little bit of Job and remember that I could be sitting in a big pile of ashes covered in boils with a dead family instead of spending my time like Job's friends trying to tell everyone what they are doing wrong and why they should be more like me and think more like me and give me what I want. Awah.

Yeah, I've really got it bad. I have sooooo much to complain about.

Time to watch a movie, throw away my passy and be a little more thankful.

Who's with me??!!!!

Intro for my New Lurkers

There are 4 false statements here. Take a stab at it. (ht: Kat, Brody)

1. My name is Seth.

2. That is not my real name.

3. It is Bicepticus Giganticus Ward. Seth was just easier say and less...Latin.

4. I am an exceptional basketball player when playing the disabled.

5. My favorite place to chow is in front of the tube watching LOTR for the 4000th time. If not there then with my African safari buddies as we all nibble on the liver of some fresh kill.

6. I have six fingers

7. I pick my nose with all but 5 of them

8. I am a dead-eye shot with a rifle. 30 out of 30 every time I shoot skeet.

9. I hate to run

10. My mom was a truck driver stunt woman.

11. I've never licked a spark plug... unfortunately.

12. I can bebox like nobodies business.

13. I have a severe problem with Apple-envy.

14. I have been known to read minds... (You are saying.... bullcrap. Ha! Nailed it.)

15. If I were to inherit a plastic factory I would make a plastic garage, shaped like a nose and the nostrils would be the carports.

16. This is really a picture of me. I am exceptionally glamorous.

Nuthin' Broke

Went rummaging through some old songs the other day and found this one. -Only to be heard by those of you that are my blogging pals. I wrote this as sort of a joke after Brokeback Mountain hit the screens. Got a few laughs out of it.

A whole lot of my relatives on my mom's side are Cowboys. They rope cows on the weekend. They own cows. They rope them. They are good at it. Thus, they are really cowboys. Hilarious, smart, witty, Cowboys.

This song is a tribute to them. CLICK HERE AND Enjoy!

"Nuthin' Broke" Words and Music by Seth Ward

Well I’m not a metrosexual
I’m not Yoga flexible
I don’t wear Speedo when I’m walkin’ on the beach

I don’t lay in tanning beds
My body’s white, my neck is red
I like to ride my horse into the sunset

(Chorus)
And I like John Wayne and a football game and
Drinkin’ beer after workin’ hard all day
And baby when I see you in that dress I start to shoutin’
Cause there ain’t nothin’ broke about my mountain.


Well I like Hank Williams and a Waylon Jennings too
George Strait, Johnny Cash, Chris Ledoux
And I like the rodeo and a home on the range
I got a big hound dog that I just call “Caine.”

Well I like John Wayne and a football game and
Drinkin’ beer after workin’ hard all day
And baby when I see you in that dress I start to shoutin’
Cause there ain’t nothin’ broke about my mountain.


I got an oscillating fan and I don’t own a suit
That says Gucci, Armani, or Versace on my boots
So if you see those guys from that show on Bravo
You can just tell them where they all can go

Dreaming... mmmmmmmm....

Brain Wax

Amber has been to my family's house quite a few times now in our four years of marriage. There was something about this last visit though... I even noticed. We are probably the most ... it's hard to explain. Time sort of becomes this nebulous bother-me-not thing when you enter the Ward cave. The warm fire, twelve people hamming it up, telling stories over each other, singing songs, writing songs, drawing pictures, writing stories, building cabinets, writing sermons, telling stories. Telling more stories. Then there are other things harder to explain... for instance,

"Hey, what time are we going out to eat?"

"Later sometime"

"K"

Then you show up "later" to find that someone made a bowl of chili and none of us, are in fact going out to eat any longer. Thats not a bad thing mind you, because the chili is time-for-celebration-good, but many families, do not run this way.

After four years observing the Ward family, Amber has concluded- "your family has right brain oozing out your right ears."

She had to repeat it because I had a big chunk of brain lodged inside my right ear. I wish they made soap for cleaning out brain from your right ear. Lava is a tad painful and it gets kind of gross with Q tips.

Most Shameful

Air Supply. All out of love baby. Thats right. "Makin' looooove outta nothin' at all. (makin' love) outta nothin at all (makin' loove ahhhhhh)"

I used to sing this at the top of my everliving lungs as a young 9 year old and I still do to my wife every time I hear it at the grocery store.

Everybody's got them. Whats yours. I have another. Much, much more shameful. I tell you as soon as I hear some fessing up.

Bad Idea

Learning, teaching, writing, reading, humming or singing anything to do with Music Theory at an early hour is dumb. Period. First and foremost, we are talking about musicians. Musicians are practically vampires. The night provides the vital marrow for all things creative. The morning is our enemy. When the sunlight comes it practically burns us. Some have even been known to hiss at the elusive morning rays as they slither, uninvited, into the cracks of the shades of our peaceful bedroom coves around 6 a.m.

So when the music student, and professor, waddle in to class in the wee hours of the morning, primo-learning or teaching is not something that generally happens. (Without MASSIVE quantities of caffeine.) I am sure that there are those of you that read this blog that rise with the chickens and believe that anyone who gets up past 8 is a sinning sloth even if they only got to sleep at 4 a.m.

On Saturdays my dad used to start mowing the yard at 8:45a.m.-sharp. About 10 minutes into the mowing I would begin to wonder just how many times the mower needed make its way directly past and very close to my window facing the back-yard. I began to imagine that the grass under my window MUST be darn near indestructible. Then suddenly the mower would reach my window and stop moving. Still running but not moving. I would lift my head from my pillow and deliriously peek out my window to find that my dad had mowed well into the middle of the yard but had decided to park the mower, running, underneath my window as he picked up some very 'dangerous-to-mower' sticks and took a sip of tea.

If none of this prompting and mower-hinting worked after 10 minutes or so, the sound of the mower passing my window would be accompanied by a few loud bangs on the window pane. A lovely duet of mower and knuckle-to-window.

The Pursuit of ...

I saw Pursuit of Happiness tonight. Had mixed feelings really. There were parts that I REALLY liked but for the most part I found it a bit Darwinian and Godless. That sounded terribly church-lady and I apologize. I felt it nonetheless. "Good" was survival. "Bad" was not surviving. Hope could only be found in the solace of success.

I mean, the man has been thrown out of his apartment, and is taking refuge on the bathroom floor in a subway station... and nary a prayer comes out of his lips? Not that I was looking for the Rosary or something, but throughout the movie there was this strong sense of Deism. i.e. God puts things in motion and doesn't intervene. So if God is there, he could really care less, so why even ask? There was even a church service and a choir singing and somehow they managed not to mention God through the entire song. It was a gospel choir singing about ... pulling yourself up. A preacher preaching about hard times and things getting better if you work hard enough. ????

The one time God IS mentioned in the film is when the little boy tells the Joke about the man stranded on his roof in a storm and two men come in boats to save the man but he tells him he is waiting on God. Not an accidental Joke. The connotations were clear. Even "the pursuit of happiness" is a bit on the Deist side of things. A strong Jeffersonian philosophy ran through the film.

The other beef I had with the film was that the movie could be renamed "The pursuit of Money"

I may be too hard on the flick. What did you think?

In the Footsteps of Will

Most people don’t know this but I am from Oklahoma. I am also part Cherokee Indian. Part of a part of a part Cherokee that is. Great-Great Grandpa on my Mom’s side was a Cherokee Indian Chief. I actually have an Indian Card. Somewhere. If I were to ever get sick I could go down to… one of the towns (???)… in Oklahoma and get free medical care and heck, maybe catch a little gambling on the side while I’m healing-up.

The sunsets in Oklahoma are unique. There is something beautiful and lonesome about them. It always feels like you are going somewhere when you see them. Or maybe it’s that you are just sad to see them go. Of course that could be just me because I am usually driving through Oklahoma and when I see the sunsets, which means I am usually moving and going somewhere. In any case, Tonight’s sunset was especially nice.

The clouds looked like they were being pulled down into the pink and orange horizon by the disappearing sun like a blanket off his bed. Reaching above the burning horizon, the escaping colored clouds washed into the deeper blue heavens. Right between the changing shades of blue, a single star pulsed and peeked, eager to bring in the night and sculpt the Greek gods of old.

On the opposite side of the horizon the full moon was huge. I felt like getting out and howling or something. Maybe an impromptu moon-lit rain dance with me and my squaw Amber.

It was nice.

Trains also sound more lonesome in Oklahoma. If they race by in the opposite direction you are driving, and if you look at something like the aforementioned horizon through their empty carts, it looks a bit like a film reel at half speed.

Small houses also sparsely line the interstate like modern day tepees. Its not that people in Oklahoma do not live in nice houses, it’s just that I think that most native Okies would rather have land. --At least the ones living by the invading highway. Yes, the love of land runs deep in an Okie’s heart. It did in my Great Great Grandpa’s, my Great Grandpa’s, my Grandpa’s, my Dad and now in mine.

So I have decided that some day I want me some land. “Quapapa say uncle Sam givum Chief Sethhorn some big chunk of land so we can buildum big tepee and Casino.”

Interesting tidbit: Did you ever see “Far and Away”? (Good and underrated film btw) Well, my great, great Grandad Van Dee Ward was in that Land Rush. Some of that land stayed in the family until just recently. Most of it was lost in the depression and Dust Bowl.

So Land-lust. It’s in the blood.

These things I pondered tonight as we drifted over the Oklahoma plains in our trust Eddie Bauer Expedition Covered Wagon.

I Suck at This

I played this game at a friends house and was totally humiliated. Smoke on the Water. Toy Guitar. Karaoke-style. I play guitar. I know this song. I taught it to a bunch of 4 graders and they played it in an ensemble to all their parents at a Fine Arts camp at a Baptist Church. I even instructed them to all stand up and do the "Elvis Leg" thing at the end. It got laughs. The parents said "That Seth, he is such a good Guitar teacher."

You would think that I could play this game. I sat in front of a bunch of non-musicians in Oklahoma and try after try, I humiliated myself attempting to score more than a 70 percent... playing Smoke on the Water. "Wah Wah Wah... Wah Wah wawa... Wah Wah Wah... Wah wawa." Yeah that one. The onlooking non-musicians tried to make light of my poor performance by saying things like, "Man, this game really makes you appreciate how hard the guitar is." It took everything in me to NOT tell them that playing this game was ZILCHO like playing the guitar. It is about as much like playing the real guitar as playing Frogger is like driving a car... shaped like a frog, because the only resemblance this game has to real guitar playing is that this plastic baby-toy-thing I am holding and can't seem to tear myself from, is vaguely shaped like a guitar.

I didn't resort to letting that bust-their-bubble-cat out of the bag because later in the hour I went to a higher level on the game and jammed my burning fingers off on "More Than a Feeling" which in turn delivered me from total humiliation.

Pride truly goeth before the fall. Dadgummit.

Thank God for Boston.

and Jelly Bellys

Supersize Me. Now. I Said Now.

I finally got around to watching Supersize Me. Two things happened while watching this documentary.

1. I vowed never to eat at McDonalds Again.

2. I started craving a Big Mac like I HAVE NEVER CRAVED ONE BEFORE.

No. 1 Sesame Street Favorite Moment

Stevie Wonder - Superstition

The coolest musician alive. I think that kid in the back swinging his head with reckless abandon is the young Shaun Groves.

Wake up, Roll Over and Blog.

Thoughts that interrupted my sleep.

Head reeling from 5 Christmas celebrations. Remodeled a room. Kids running around my feet. Kids wanting momma. Endless hours in the car. Liked that part. Got sick. Big time. Still Sick. Hope I can get time to study. Exciting things are happening behind the scenes for our future. Sleepy all the time. Cannot get a good sleep. Finally got a decent snooze last night. Had to take a boatload of pills to get it. I like scrabble now. Played it for the first time keeping score. I also started liking Pug Dogs. Have always thought they were too ugly to pet. Think they are hilarious now. Reading more Thomas Merton. Really like this guy. Redefining church lately... again. Like Merton like I like Lewis. Definitely like him as much or more than Chambers. Started reading Steinbeck again. First chapter of Grapes of Wrath is amazing. Whole book is amazing. Got a new phone. Treo. Love it. Can get Internet on my laptop through bluetooth through my phone. Stop to ponder how amazing that is. Invisible waves running from somewhere to space then down to my phone then into my computer translating massive amounts of information. We can believe in this but can't seem to believe in the power of the unseen God and the movement of God the Holy Spirit. I guess you can scientifically explain these waves though. Or can we? When you get down to the quantum level of everything, nothing is certain or explainable. We are made of almost nothing. If you took one the atoms in your pinkie toe or your shirt sleeve and stretched it out the size of a mountain the center or nucleus would be the size of an eraser the electrons spinning around it a mile out would be so small that yo couldn't see them. They would be spinning around the tiny nucleus near the speed of light and you would hardly know they are there. The rest is all empty space. Your whole body is probably 99 percent empty space. We are literally made of nothing. I wish dogs lived longer. They die much too quickly. I should do Yoga but I still feel sick. Shut the computer off and snooze for another hour. Good morning to all.